It is somewhat fitting, Equal parts ironic and opportunistic that my last post was outcome. I recently competed in my first bjj tournament at black belt, and in the lead up to that competition, I was constantly reminding myself to focus on output rather than outcome.
The main take away from Output, was that outcome is never certain. It can be out of your control, even with the best of preparation. But output, is always in your control.
So that is what I tried to focus on going into this competition. Control the output. Deliver a performance I could be proud of. And, let the chips fall where they may.


That is easier said than done. Especially in something so personal and ego centric as one on one, hand to hand combat.
The day of the competition was my 38th birthday. My matches were scheduled for later in the evening.
Maybe I was feeling my age. Maybe it was harder to get warmed up at a time when I would have otherwise been eating dinner. Maybe I am finally losing my appetite for cutting weight after three decades.
Whatever the reason, I followed my normal warmup routine, but I didn’t feel the same fire. I felt prepared. I felt ready to compete. But just without that extra edge.



In the aftermath of previous competitions, I realized I had relied too much on my wrestling and not gotten a chance to really test my jiu jitsu. I vowed to change that.
I had a game plan going in. A few wrestling setups and takedowns I felt confident with, all attempted within the first 30-40 seconds. If those were unsuccessful, the plan was to get into guard and get into my jui jitsu game.
The first part of the match was a perfect execution of may gameplan. A few takedown attempts, not successful, but enough to make him think. Then straight into a guard I felt comfortable with.
I played my guard game, moving, adjusting, attacking. Everyting going to plan. I wrestled up from my guard attacks finishing a takedown and ending on top.



So far I was executing the game plan, and the game plan was working. I continued to apply pressure from top position, looking for a place to attack.
I found an opening for a knee bar and trasitioned quickly. Another part of my game I was focusing on from previous competition was being decisive and explosive when the window was open, knowing that windows in high level bjj close quickly.
I didn’t finish the knee bar, but I was thrilled with my recognition and quick, decisive action. Again, sticking to the game plan and improving on past performance.
We scrambled up and I ended up wrestling back down to mat, taking his back with one hook in and attacking his lapels for a choke finish.


As time expired, I was delighted with my performance. My game plan was solid, and my execution was everything I could have wanted. Explosive, aggressive, opportunistic. I used my wrestling to set up my jiu jitsu, and my jiu jistu to set up my wrestling.
When the referee had to go have a conference with another referee before coming to announce the decision, I got a sinking feeling.
The scene from Cinderella man started playing in my head. “They take this long to make a decision, they’re gonna decide to screw someone”
The referee talked with my coach before coming back to the center of the mat and raising my opponents hand.


He had been given credit for a sweep when I attacked the knee bar. I only had one hook in on his back and was not awarded points. The final score was 2-2. even though I had a dominant performance, his points coming from my aggression and attacking without any real advantage to him, he scored last, and that was the tie break criteria.
It was a weird feeling. I couldn’t feel happy. I lost, and that win would have put me in the finals. On the other hand, if I could have scripted my ideal performance for my first five minutes competing at black belt, it would have unfolded very much like that match.
The outcome was not what I wanted, but the output, was almost perfect.
I tried to mentally reset and get ready for the consolation match, hoping to win and be able to compete for 3rd place.

If I was in a weird space before my first match, this was even weirder.
I came out a bit flat, and my opponent was aggressive with his take down, taking advantage of my slow start.
No matter, I got right to work in my guard, again using my jiu jitsu to set up my wrestling and wrestling up.
We scrambled and ended up back in my guard, and I found myself attacking an ankle lock that I feel very confident in.
This is a movement I train every day in the gym and have a great deal of success with.





This time however, I felt and heard a crunch in my left rib cage. I knew something wasn’t right but I continued to attack the ankle lock.
My opponent had to defend, and I took the opportunity to again wrestle up. There was no power though, any tension through my core caused my rips to pop back and forth like a snap bracelet.
I tried to establish my guard for another 30 seconds or so before deciding that discretion was the better part of valor and tapping my opponent, signaling he won and would advance.
Two weeks later, I am still struggling with my rib. Two losses, and an injury on my birthday. Not the outcome I was loking for.




But the outcome was never really in my control, never entirely anyway. But the output. In just over 7 minutes, less than a match and a half, I covered almost all of the positions and techniques I wanted to test at this level.
I transitioned seamlessly between my wrestling and jiu jitsu. I was explosive when the window opened. I tested myself rather than trying to rely on an older and more proven skill set.
It is taking some time, and the rib is a constant reminder that the outcome was far from desireable. I am struggling, but, I am finding peace, knowing that the output was something I can be proud of.
SerenityThroughSweat, earned, struggled for, fought for. It isn’t given, and the outcome is never certain. But, you control the output, and you always have a fighting chance to find it.
Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.