Layover – Serenity Through Sweat

MEL

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. This week, I want to introduce a concept from aviation that I think has great crossover into the health and wellness space.

Things fall apart. Things break. Murphy’s law says, “whatever can go wrong, will”. The correllary, is that murphy was an optimist.

This is something we deal with in aviation all the time. Parts break. It is then up to us as pilots to decide what is an acceptable level of breakage.

Christmas half marathon and roanoke layover run (i know I’m a little behind on the blog schedule)

That might sound scary, but we all make similar decisons everyday. The check engine light or tire pressure light in our cars. A toilet that doesnt quite work right you just have to jiggle the handle.

Things that aren’t operating quite as they should but we find work arounds to complete the task with a not pefectly functioning piece of equipment.

Whenever something is broken on and airplane we consult a Minimum Equipment List or MEL. The MEL, in its simplest form, is a list of all the stuff that can be broken and we will still be safe to fly.

Enjoying the local layover hotel

Again this might sound scary, but think about all of the non-essential functions in your car. Would you drive if the automatic windows didnt work? What about cruise control? The middle seat belt in the back seat?

The answer is probably a yes, but… Or maybe the answer is, it depends on where we were driving, how many people, what the weather was, etc…

Now you are thinking like a pilot. Our MEL gives us the same type of information. Depending on what is broken, the type of operations we are allowed to conduct may be limited, and the type of maintenance that must be performed is prescribed.

You wouldnt want to drive with bad winshield wipers if the forecast called for rain, but maybe thise wipers can be replaced another day if there isn’t a cloud in the sky.

This isnt about ignoring malfunctions, but rather acknowledging them and taking appropriate risk mitigation strategies when considering both the likelihood and severity of the malfunctioning equipment having an adverse effect on the operation that day.

The aviation MEL has M and O procedures. M for maintenance, and O for operational.

The maintenance section lists actions that must be performed on the broken equipment or system prior to the flight commencing. It also specifies when a final long term repair must be completed by for the priginal broken equipment.

The operations section places any limits on the types of operations you can conduct while the equipment is broken and remains unrepaired.

I think that same idea can play really well into the health and welness space, but I have never really heard it explicitly described in that way.

Back to Murphy again, there is no such thing as a perfect training day. There are too many variables and something will always be a little bit off. Sleep, nutrition, training volume, weather, equipment, lack of motivation, something is going to try and throw a wrench in your training plan and your day in general.

But, you definitely don’t need to feel perfect in order to train, or even just to function. And, even if you do have some sort of legitimate issue, (known injury or illness, bad weather, fragmented sleep, missing or broken equipment) you can still use the idea of an MEL to protect your plan.

Maybe you didnt sleep well last night. Consulting the health and wellness MEL might say your operational limits are to reduce volume by 20%. It might also say to avoid high intensity or heavy weights for that session to reduce injury risk.

The maintenance procedure might be to take an extended warm up and stretching prior to getting into your main set.

Trip to port canaveral launch pads and museum

Maybe you’re stressed out from work/family/relationship/etc that day. The operational section of the MEL might say zone 2 cardio or a shorter HIIT session is ok, but make sure it is an activity you enjoy. Stay away from something grueling or unappealing.

The maintenance procedure might have you try to gamify your warmup rather than something monotonous. It might also require you to have a pre workout energy drink or special playlist.

Maybe you are dealing with a knee injury. The MEL might say you have to wear a brace and do specific warmups prior to starting your activity.

Your operations might be limited to low intensity, lower miles, or lower impact activites only.

You might give yourself a week or two under those limits and then reevaluate the MEL for the knee injury to see if it still applies.

I think this type of framework is extremely useful to maintain activity levels as we age and deal with the inevitable hurdles to activity like, stress, illness, and injury.

Having an idea of, I can still do something as long as I take the right precautions, is way better than doing nothing because there is a problem.

Using the MEL framework, recognizes the problem, mitigates the risk, and tries to push forward on the path towards serenity.

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

But will there be cookies?

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. This month, I want to talk about a topic that is a little heavier than normal.

In the last four months, my boys and I have been to two family memorial services.

Death is never an easy topic to talk about. Maybe western culture has made it too taboo. Regardless of your views, that conversational conundrum compounds when the kiddos are involved.

I tried to frame the entire event as a support and celebrate operation. We are here to support our family and celebrate the life of our dearly departed loved one.

That sounds great on paper but it doesn’t really mean a lot to a 5 and 8 year old. Their idea of support is when I help them clean up their toys, and it isn’t really a celebration if there isnt some sort of sweetened baked good.

In reality, just their presence is supportive. Maybe even more so at their age. Their unbridled happiness is a reminder that life goes on.

The pure radiance in a child’s undisturbed play and laughter, especially outside that kind of event, takes the edge off more than any Irish wake ever could.

And of course, those sneaky giggles and innocent smiles, warm even the hardest hearts, especially when they are trying to sneak their third or fourth cookie after being told two was plenty.

When the boys and I visited buffalo in the fall for my grandfather’s memorial, the boys didn’t really know what to expect.

They had never been to a memorial before. They had maybe met my grandfather on that side once or twice, but certianly not enough to have memories or attachments.

Most of the cousins and family they are more used to seing wouldn’t be in attendance.

Still, they made friends, played nicely, if a little rough as boys are wont to do, and their presence was comforting to everyone.

When it came time to tell them about the second memorial service, I was a little more apprehensive. This time would be in sarasota, for someone they had never met, and with no cousins.

Their first question, “but will there be cookies?”

For them that was what mattered. That was what they associated with memorial services. That was their only experience, and that was what they knew.

I think that’s an important thing to reflect on. On the surface it may seem shallow and juvenile. Which of course it is.

Speedy and El Duderino are 5 and 8 and cookies are much easier and more attractive than reflecting on our mortality.

But, death has a way of shaking things up. Clouding our judgements and emotions. Like a snow globe, the perfect setting can be easily obscured and there is nothing to do but let time take its course, and wait for things to settle.

And, when it does settle, things are still very much as the were before the globe was so violently shaken. provided of course the shaking didn’t break the whole thing.

For the boys, in a strange place, shaken with a turbulent storm of unfamiliar people and emotions, the beautiful back drop for them was cookies.

Of course Heather and I were there, with them and for them. But kids take that for granted. As all of us do until our parents are gone, but especially young kids. But the cookies, that was the special part. That was the connection there brains attached to the event.

As parents, we do the best we can for our kids. We get to make things special. We try to impart values and meaning in things to raise then into strong and loving humans. But, despite our best efforts, we don’t get to pick what sticks.

We don’t get to decide what is impactful for others, we only have that decision for ourselves. We can certainly influence it. We can lay all the dominoes out and hope they fall as planned. But the ultimate decision of what sticks, lies with each individual.

For Speedy and El Duderino, I guess that makes me think about the little things. It’s really easy to get caugt up in the turbulence of the snow globe. Understandably so.

It’s also easy, once the dust has settled, to focus on the centerpiece. The natural point your attention is drawn to inside the globe.

But as the boys showed me, sometimes, the smallest, almost overlooked detail, can bring the most serenity.

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Play

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. I’m sitting in the back of an airplane, hoping to make it home in time to participate in my first BJJ belt promotion ceremony as a black belt.

A few weeks ago I was able to watch Speedy at his first belt ceremony, where two young men recieved their black belts.

Speedy is one of the youngest and smallest in his karate class, but he is fierce.

As he was given his orange striped belt and asked to move out of the basic skills class and up into the beginners class, his instructor said something that caught my attention.

He was praising Speedy for his focus and dedication. He was impressed with his skill and that for such a young student he recognized that he was there to train and to learn, not to play.

Obviously these were all desireable qualities and I am very proud of Speedy as I watch him on his martial arts journey.

Thise comments though, stood out to me so much, because just that same morning, at my 6:30am BJJ class, I very distinctly told some of my training partners “I’m just here to play”

While the two sentiments are in obvious conflict with each other, I think there is room for both of us to be right.

I have a lot of respect for all of the coaches that are working with Speedy. They have all proven to be extremely knowledgeable, good communicators, and personable with a wide range of kids of varying ages, athletic potential, and focus.

And many of the students, especially the younger ones, will result to play as their default setting. Who can blame them. They are on mats, wearing silly outfits and boxing gloves, there are punching bags, gym equipment, hula hoops, and pool noodles around. It looks like a place to play. And at that age, play should be the default mode.

And while play is a great way to learn, you need to understand some basic guidelines before learning is effective much less efficient.

Think about playing a board game. You don’t learn the game by reading the rules. You learn by playing. The strategy, the tactics, the nuance, all come from playing.

But if you dont read the rules first, you might not even know what the pieces do, how to set up, or what the turns or steps of the game are.

There is some front loaded focus and discipline, that is required in order to take advantage of that play learning.

That cycle repeats itslef. You need to focus and study a new technique, and then you need to play with it to really learn and undertand it.

The bigger a foundation of knowledge and skill you build through focus and discipline, the more the ratio can shift towards play.

Since I have spent more than thirty years on the mats, I have a lot to draw on. Unless I am specifically training for a competition I mostly just play.

As an adult (or psuedo peter pan type adult) I think that mindset is more important than ever.

Despite my best efforts, my default mode is not play. And, I would be willing to bet, that I am still far closer to the play end of the spectrum than many other adults (psuedo peter pan or otherwise).

Whenever it is time for the sparring or live rolling part of a Jui Jitsu class, I try to be respectful of my fellow classmates needs.

I always start by asking if there is anything they want to work on, a technique, a position, or anything they want to get out of their training.

Very few take me up on the offer and I am delighted to offer whatever knowledge I can when they do.

When they don’t, we slap hands, and I get to play.

I already know the rules. The patterns and movements feel like a well worn trail. Sometimes, something new might pop up, like pushing through the tall grass off to the side of that well worn trail.

Maybe it leads to a whole new place, or maybe it just follows parallel alongside before rejoining the path later on.

Regardless of whether the path is well worn or rough trod, it is a playful exploration.

Wrong size bike but a fun adventure in Traverse city

That playful exploration is rejuvenating and enlightening. I am in a better place to learn and imprint there, than any amount of laser focus.

But perhaps thats because of the years of laser focus and that foundation that has already been built.

I guess what I want Speedy and El Duderino to realize, is that both are important. And, play, even more so as you get older and are less naturally inclined towards it.

Find the time to focus. Learn, and build your foundation. But, dont forget to play and look for serenity along the way.

Thanks for joining me, stay safe, and stay sweaty my friends.

Filling in the Blanks

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. I’ve been slowly exposing Speedy and El Duderino to my rather eclectic taste in music (metered in at age appropriate levels, of course). I wanted to share and discuss one of those recent experiences.

“It’s stupid, contagious
To be broke and famous
Can someone please save us from punk rock 101
My Dickies your sweatbands
My spiked hair, your new vans
Let’s throw up our ‘organs’ for punk rock 101″

“Wait a minute, that’s not right. I’m pretty sure it’s “rock hands” dude. No, it’s organs. Buddy, throw up our organs doesn’t make any sense. These are rock hands, you throw them up at concerts or listening to music. I still think it’s organs.”

Above are the lyrics from Bowling For Soup’s song Punk Rock 101, followed by the exchange between El Duderino and I while singing it together in the car.

To be fair, I’m not sure I knew what rock hands were at age seven either. And, that is kinda the point. Our brains do an incredible job of filling in blanks where we have gaps.

The gaps can be visual, auditory, information, knowledge, anything. We crave a complete picture and understanding so much that we sometimes fill in those gaps unconsciously.

Such is our desire for completion, and our discomfort with incompletion, that we have evolved to make this process automatic.

I told myself this year I would try to get back in the water, and a few early season hurricanes gave me some great swell and the push I needed

El Duderino didn’t know the lyric, he had an incomplete set of information. He heard some sounds, and filled in a word he understood that matched what he heard, even if it didn’t make much sense. The brain drives us to make a complete unit rather than leave the lyric unsung.

This is not uncommon for any of us singing along in the car, (especially before the days of looking up lyrics on the internet). But, it is a much deeper phenomenon that is studied in psychology, neurology, and vision.

“Filling in” is the phenomenon where the empty space left by our physical blind spot appears to resemble the color, brightness, or texture of the surrounding area.

Each eye has a physical blind spot where the retina joins the optic nerve, and there are no photoreceptors. With both eyes open, each eye covers the other’s blind spot. But, even with one eye closed, the brain will automatically fill in the area based on what else it perceives.

(A) The blind spot. Close your left eye, gaze at the cross, and move the page toward you. At some point the black spot will disappear because it lands on your retinal blind spot. However, the red and green stripes perceptually fill into the blind space. (B) Neon spreading. The thin red lines are perceptually filled in to form an illusory pink annulus. Both rings are the same red, but they average together with their white or black backgrounds to look light or dark pink. (C) Pinna’s water color illusion. The colored lines appear to fill-in and tinge the entire regions with color.

Illusion A is a classic example. With both eyes open, you can see the black dot on the right. With one eye closed, as the black dot moves into your physical blind spot, your brain fills in the red and green stripes.

In this case the filling in is relatively harmless. El Duderino sings a funny lyric and we laugh about it.

I’m sure I’m still butchering lyrics to many of my 90s favorites and filling in what makes sense to my brain, regardless of what the artist intended.

A different kind of filling in can be a bit more problematic. Troxler’s fading is shown in the example below. Stare intently on the red dot and watch the colored ring fade away.

When steadily fixating the central dot for many seconds, the peripheral annulus will fade and will be replaced by the colour or texture of the background. Troxler’s fading

We haven’t quite pinned down the exact mechanism that causes the fading phenomenon. You can read more about it here. Basically, a lot of big words, and confusing neuro pathways to say we arent sure exactly when images get transfered at different levels to the brain, and what may disrupt those images in the transfer process.

Hearing El Duderino so clearly fall into the filling in phenomenon, I remembered learning about it in flight school.

This was an adventure. Probably a 10k worth of hiking on a bike route reported as “mostly paved”

Part of our training was on the physiology of the eyes and ears. How they work, and how they can sometimes play tricks on us.

I had never before heard of Troxler’s fading, though. It is impressive how fixating on such a small point can impact literally the entire surrounding.

Laser beam focus is super important. I wrote about that a few weeks ago. But so is being able to zoom out and see the surroundings.

One of my favorite layover trail runs in Roanoke

How often do we let ourselves lose sight of the bigger picture, letting it slowly fade while we fixate on the minutiae?

How often are we not even conscious of where our focus is being directed? What is there, lurking out in the periphery that we are missing?

I love singing in the car with the boys. I love that it gets me out of my own head and into a shared space with them. I love it even more when it can open up new realizations and learning. So throw up your ‘organs’, and don’t let yourself fixate on the wrong thing. You might miss serenity hiding in the periphery.

Continuing traing building towards IM FL 70.3

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Mental muscles

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. I’m fresh out of the simulator for my recuurent pilot training and wanted to reflect on the experience.

“Laser beam focus”. “Like moving a toothpick inside a cheerio”. “Just put the thing in the thing and keep it there”.

These are things the instructors say when talking through a single engine ILS (instrument landing system) approach flown without the autopilot. They are referring to the small yellow box in the middle of the photo, and keeping the yellow box centered on the green crosshair.

Even the slightest deviation from the flight directors commanded position can result in an aircraft state that is no longer in a safe position to land.

Flying at 145 knots on approach means moving through the air at 245 feet per second. ILS minimums typically allow you to land at 1800′ RVR (runway visual range). That means you can only see about 1800 feet in front of you.

You need to transition from that laser beam focus on the dual cue flight director, to pick out the runway environment through the fog and haze. At those speeds, you have 7.5 seconds until the ground comes to greet you.

Let’s rewind about ten or fifteen minutes, before your laser beam focus on the yellow box and green cross hair.

You have flown to a safe altitude on a single engine, combating the asymmetric thrust that wanted to roll and yaw the airplane out of control and upside down. You start the process of securing the failed engine in order to prevent any further damage.

Now you have to expand your thinking and start looking at the big picture. What systems were running off that engine that I lost? Which systems were essential? Which were redundant? What operations can I still conduct with downgraded systems? Does the weather permit those operations with down graded systems? How much fuel do I have? Is it balanced?

The list of questions could go on and on, but you are in a pressurized tube moving through space with a finite amount of fuel. Add on to all that managing communications with the rest of the crew behind your locked cockpit door, air traffic control, and your company counterparts on the ground. There is a lot of data input and management at a higher level.

This represents a significant contrast from the task we previously discussed. A singular lazer beam focus on a very small window.

Singular lazer beam focus and birds eye view big picture situation analysis. Both tasks are critical to getting back on the ground safely, and training and preparing for those tasks are two very different operations.

This reminded me somewhat of the physical training that I do. Training for a five minute Jiu Jitsu match is much different than training for a five hour half ironman.

A single rep max deadlift requires a different training modality and approach than a 100+ mile bike ride through the mountains.

And unlike in sport, where you can specialize and focus on only one type of activity if you so choose, that type of specialization and omission is not an option im aviation.

I’ve never been a big fan of that in my training anyway. “Specialization is for insects” I once read. I want to be able to sprint fast and hike for a whole day. I want to be able to lift heavy things and not have my muscles give out at the end of long climb on my bike.

Similarly, I want to be able to have that lazer beam focus for as long as I need to, in order to land safely. I want to be able to calm my heart rate and nerves and look at the big picture analytically. I want to be able to ground my thoughts and be present in the moment without ruminating or fixating.

I want to train and strengthen all the muscles. Type I fast twitch fibers. Type II slow twitch fibers. The heart, the lungs, and all of those different mental muscles.

I’m not sure what the equivalent of deadlifts for focus, or bench press for big picture thinking looks like. But just like you shouldn’t skip leg day, you have to train all of those mental muscles, not just the showy ones.

I’m sure there are plenty of podcasts and researchers much smarter than myself, that can tell you how to train these different mental muscles. Sometimes, the best training is just repetition.

Have a few tasks that require short, intense bursts of lazer beam focus. Have some planning or brainstorming sessions where you can think big picture. Carve out some time to be creative. Engage in tasks that require longer bouts of repetitive motion but also dynamic motor control. (I helped my neice and nephew place individual perler beads in specific patterns)

All of these mental muscles need to be trained, and need to be continually engaged in order to prevent atrophy.

Just like any other training we talk about here, the joy is often found in the journey more so than the destination. And, there is plenty of serenity to be found along the way.

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Better off

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. Tonight Americans will make their voices heard at the polls. This blog has always tried to steer a clear line around politics, and will continue to do so. In that light though, a common question asked around elections, are you better off now than you were two, four, whatever political term limit years ago?

Frankly, I find the question offensive, especially in the context in which it is asked. Our lives are so complex, and measuring something as open-ended as “better off” is really hard to pin down and subject to interpretation.

So, right off the bat, it is a bad question that is hard to define any real answer to.

Add to that the context, whereby the question implies that whatever politician is directly responsible for your bounty or misfortune.

Now, if you ask yourself that same question, putting the onus on yourself rather than some distant bureaucrat, it’s a totally different story.

Are you better off than you were four years ago? Are you better off than you were a year ago? Are you better off than you were a month ago? Yesterday? Why or why not?

Life has thrown a lot at all of us in the last four years. But skilled sailors are not made by smooth seas, as they say.

Have you grown? Have you changed? Have you gotten healthier? Have you learned and loved?

Politics have little to no impact over most of those things. And, those are among the most important things.

Make your voice heard at the polls. Vote for the ploicy direction you believe in. But also, vote for yourself.

Vote for your health. Vote for your relationships and your loved ones. Vote for adventure and experience. Vote for growth and knowledge.

If you are better off than you were four years ago, what is your personal platform for the next four years?

If you aren’t better off, no one is going to change it for you. You are running unopposed and have no red tape to cut through to implement change.

Regardless of the election results, you will have a super majority to make changes in your own life.

Getting more time on the bike inside and outside

You likely won’t have to convince anyone other than yourself.

I hope you are better off now than you were four years ago. I hope you are better off tomorrow than you are today. I hope you are better off four years from now.

Unfortunately, hope is not a strategy. You get to be the architect of your future, whether that leaves you better off or not. May you find serenity along the way.

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

What could go wrong

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. I admittedly got away from writing over the summer, and it is well past time to rectify that.

I used to fly quite a bit with a captain who would always end his briefing by saying, “What could possibly go wrong?”

It was said jokingly, of course, but with an all to telling note of seriousness. There are always things that don’t go to plan, especially when flying airplanes.

There are just too many balls in the air. Too many moving parts. Logistics that can seem insurmountable. And yet, flight after flight, day after day, we find a way to make it work.

We thin1k about and brief the things we think may go wrong, and how we plan to react. We train for processes and procedures for responding to unexpected problems. We maintain an awareness of where we are and where we want to go.

The question, though, is ever present. Nagging, like a fold in the sock under your foot. Just enough to remind you with a slight discomfort every step. “What could possibly go wrong”

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, but not as it relates to aviation. That nagging feeling has been with me my entire adult life. I’ve been thinking about the question with my upcoming bike race.

I have spent more than my fair share of time on a bike over the past decade of competing in triathalon, but over the last few years, most of that has been on an indoor trainer.

The indoor trainer is safer and more efficient. It is far more versitle than what I would have access to in my local area in terms of terrain. It allows for precision training without concern for traffic, weather, time of day, and road condition. It solves a lot of potential problems.

I’ve signed up and have been training for the 6 Gap Century ride. The race runs through the north Georgia mountains covering 103 miles with more than 10’000 feet of climbing. Needless to say it will be a long day.

Over the summer, I was able to scout out the course with some friends. We rode about half the course, including two of the biggest climbs.

Leading up to the ride, I had been simulating lots of climbing on my smart trainer, but descending down steep and winding mountain roads, would be another thing entirely.

Six gap scout ride with a special mountain top surprise

What could possibly go wrong?

The scenic highways in north Georgia are beautiful. Winding roads cut into the majestic mountainsides with spectacular vistas. They also feature very little shoulder, impatient drivers, and a small piece of fabricated metal between the edge of the pavement and a very long fall.

I dont think nervous is the right word. I would get nervous as a kid before riding my bike down a big hill. Knowing that soon, the exhileration would push that feeling aside even if there was a chance I could get hurt.

The calculus has changed a bit from those days. It is still just a hill (mountain) and a bike. But I’m not a kid anymore. I don’t recover the way I once did. I have a family to support, bills to pay.

So, without having ridden my bike not on a stationary trainer in more than a year, and on flat ground in FL at that, I set off with my friends for this mountain adventure.

What could possibly go wrong?

Despite some challenging weather and road conditions, nothing went wrong. We all had a great and very memorable day.

But that nagging feeling was still there. All it takes is one mistake. One unforseen problem. You hope that if something happens, it will only be a minor consequence. That isn’t always in your control.

I have continued my training and preparation throughout the summer, rediscovering my love of riding outside. Especially with the new challenging terrain.

I took advantage of some opportunities to train while on long layovers. With those incredible opportunities came added concern. Not just my health, and my family, but now this is an activity with inherent risk while I have an obligation at work.

What could go possibly go wrong?

I had dreams about it. Not nightmares per se, but the thought of crashing my bike while going down a steep hill is something my subconscious likes to remind me of.

So, it was a pleasant surprise, and a welcome change when my thinking shifted.

Flying down highway 50 at 40 miles per hour, with nothing but open road, cresting mountains, and the clear blue waters of lake Tahoe filling up my view, I had to remember to breathe.

In fairness, I frequently have to remember to breathe when descending. My senses are so enhanced and focused knowing that the stakes are raised. But the truly awesome natural beauty took my breath away.

I remember thinking to myself that I needed to snap out of it. To focus on the road. To avoid any myriad of potential mistakes that could prove catastrophic.

And I did snap out of it. But I also started thinking, I know what could go wrong. I’ve thought about it, dreamt about it, worried about it. But what could go right?

That is a much more powerful question. Even a harder one to answer, I think. We are wired to look out for threats. It is a survival mechanism. It takes a freeing of those powerfully ingrained survival instincts to think about what could go right.

There will still be nervous energy and hightened awareness as I approach each mountain crest, knowing the gravity of the potential consequences that lie ahead (figuratively and literally).

But more and more I find myself thinking, what could go right? It is a powerful shift. It just took a little push down a hill to get there.

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Rules

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. I’m working my way through the second book in the Wheel of Time series and wanted to share a quote that I found particularly appropriate for Father’s Day.

I was first introduced to the Wheel of Time when my wife and I watched it on Amazon Prime last summer.

After we put the boys to bed, we would wade through the magical world that Robert Jordan created one episode at a time.

A broken world, doomed to repeat itself, cycle after cycle as the “wheel” turns each age. The only inhabitants of this magical realm who seem able to exert any control over the fate the wheel has laid out for them are the Aes Sedai.

The Aes Sedai are a group of women able to channel the magic of the “one power” to do incredible things.

The Aes Sedai are split into factions (ajahs) denoted by their color. Each faction slightly different in their methodology, beliefs, and purpose.

Each Aes Sedai has a male guardian, a warder, assigned to her. They are bonded to each other till death. The relationships are complicated, and while they are reciprocal in many ways, the warders are subordinate.

In ages past, there were male Aes Sedai who could also wield the one power. Theirs was slightly different than that wielded by the women.

Opposite powers but complimentary, male and female, yin and yang. But at some point ages ago, the male side screwed it up and broke the world. Now, the women are left with the pieces, trying to hold it all together.

The Aes Sedai of the red ajah do not have male warders. Their mission is to root out men who may try to channel the one power.

One of my favorite layover runs in Roanoke

Any man who tries to wield the one power will cause chaos and destruction. Reaching out to the source of the one power will, in time, drive a man to madness.

The women of the red ajah find these men and “gentle” them. Cutting off their ability to touch the source so that they won’t cause any harm. The men still end up going mad.

Some Aes Sedai, particularly of the blue ajah, believe in a profecy of the dragon reborn. A man who will be able to channel the one power and will restore the world from it’s broken state and win the eternal battle against the dark one.

This was the back story given in the Amazon Prime show and tracks fairly well with the books.

Beautiful day for some miles on my Traverse city layover

The world created by Jordan and the characters that populate it are rich and enticing.

Both the books, and especially the show, have a significant feminine lean. Men break the world. Men cannot control the one power. Women are the saviors. “Gentling” bears a striking resemblance to castration. I was worried this would put me off, but i was pleasantly surprised.

The warders seem to be excellent male role models. The main characters who are male while still defering to the Aes Sedai, are anything but subordinate.

Lan, one of the warders, is training Rand, a simple sheep herder but also the dragon reborn, in swordsmanship. The scene has them practicing atop a castle tower, with the warder getting the best of the sheep herder and talking to him about the challenges that lie ahead of him.

“There is one rule, above all others, for being a man. Whatever comes, face it on your feet. “

The scene came right at the end of the chapter, and it just hit me a special kind of way.

Maybe it was that I wasn’t expecting much in the way of masculine advice based on my experience thus far with the show and the first book.

Maybe it was the elegance and simplicity of the statement and the stoic and thoughtful nature of the character it was coming from.

Maybe it was the added irony from my time in Jui Jistu, where I face obstacles sitting on my butt or laying on my back.

Whatever it was, the scene, the quote, the moment created in the story, it felt significant. It resonated with me beyond just a story in a book.

The past few months have come with no shortage of challenges. I haven’t always risen to them in the way I would like. But I haven’t run from them either.

Some of my proudest moments, after the happy events of life and the triumphs and successes, have been some of my failures.

Not because of the failures themselves, but because of the way I was able to face the failure. To own it. To feel it. To grow out of it and through it.

Just like a triathlon, you put one foot in front of the other and keep going. Sitting down doesn’t get you any closer to the finish line, and there is no one coming to get you.

I wrote in this post about The Martian. You solve one problem, then the next, if you solve enough problems, you get to go home.

I think that is what Lan is trying to say. You don’t take whatever life throws at you lying down. Stay on your feet, nimble, agile, ready to adjust course. If nothing else, you go down swinging.

It’s easy to feel helpless. It’s easy to feel like you are steering into uncharted waters with strange currents. It’s easy to feel ineffective.

I hope that I can show my boys the alternative. Demonstrate for them Lan’s first rule of manhood. Cultivate in them, the attitude and ability to face the many challenges of life on their feet.

Find your footing, dig in your heels, put on a brave face for what may come. There is surely serenity in taking charge of your own destiny.

Lots of miles getting ready to ride in the mountains

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Mistakes

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. In the last few months, I’ve been reading more about investing (as well as watching old seasons of ‘billions’ on Prime video), and I wanted to share something that stuck out to me.

I came across this quote from Warren Buffet from his 2023 Berkshire Hathaway investor meeting. It reminded me of advice that my mom has been giving me for the last three decades.

“Thanks to the American tailwind and the power of compound interest, the arena in which we operate has been – and will be – rewarding if you make a couple of good decisions during a lifetime and avoid serious mistakes.”

From the investing standpoint, you want to maximize your upside potential, while also minimizing your downside risk. The problem is, those two things are often not possible simultaneously. Generally speaking, in order to have a large potential, the risk is inherently greater.

Making a mistake in that risk/reward equation, or in the way you evaluate an investment, will have monetary consequences. If you can learn to impartially evaluate those mistakes, to make sure they are small mistakes, not life changing ones, there are incredible lessons to be found.

If you can learn from those lessons and at the same time avoid the big mistakes, you are probably going to pretty well for yourself. In investing and in life.

Mistake in this context casts a very wide net. It can be moving your body incorrectly, and having a jui jitsu move not work. It can also be moving your body incorrectly, having a jui jitsu move not work while also tearing your knee apart. The tricky part about a lot of mistakes, is that it is hard to fully comprehend the potential outcomes before you are already committed.

Mistakes are an interesting subject. They are a critical part of the learning curve. Our brain needs to understand the wrong way to do something (the mistake) in order to properly wire in the correct process. Small mistakes create neuroplasticity and learning.

As long as those mistakes are not catastrophic, they are an important part of the process. (Doing the BJJ move wrong 5 times before getting it right the 6th, while avoiding that whole tearing your knee apart thing)

But what about mistakes of omission, or mistakes of substitution? What we’ve talked about so far is investing in the wrong company or moving our body in the wrong way. What about things we opt not to do, or things we should do that are replaced with so thing else?

We all know we should eat healthy and move more. Skipping your morning workout or walk and replacing it with idle scrolling would hardly be a “serious mistake” in the sense that Buffet or my mother cautioned about.

That kind of choice, (replacing healthy movement with idle screen time) certainly wouldn’t have the catastrophic effect of tearing apart your knee or drastically altering your family finances.

But, what happens when that small mistake becomes a habit. When momentum shifts from healthy choices to frivolous ones.

I’ll admit I’ve felt a bit stuck in this loop. Building momentum in healthy habits, only to falter back into less productive choices. What is the cost of these mistakes? Are there enough good choices and tailwind to stay ahead of the consequences?

The magic of compounding is dispassionate and directionless. It can work for you just as easily as it can work against you. How long before those small mistakes compound into a serious one?

Most small mistakes, especially in a first world country, are relatively harmless. They are also easily dismissed, and almost mindless. It is precisely these qualities that make them so dangerous. You ingest the poison without any immediate or significant consequence. By the time the dosage has built up it is too late.

As I write this on my phone, I know that the same device is a large source of my small mistakes. Rushing back for innocent seeming dopamine hits, while neglecting the things that truly matter.

Worse still, my limited ability to recognize this mistake. My occasional stumblings into a more mindful existence, leave me feeling ashamed and guilty rather than refreshed and relieved.

I know that this is a natural human tendency to focus on the negative over the positive. To be ashamed of the mistake rather than celebrate the recognition and correction of it. Again, a loop I am often stuck in.

But that’s the battle right. To identify those mistakes. To fight in order to shift the focus from the guilt to the mindful acceptance. To take advantage of the compounding and the tailwinds on good habits.

Avoid the big mistakes. Cut off the loop on the small ones. Establish habits that can take advantage of the magic of compounding. And, maybe find some serenity in the process.

Lots of elevation getting ready for 6gap

Thanks for joining me. Stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Results

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. This week is want to talk about results. Or, more specifically, a result oriented versus process oriented paradigm.

I recently competed in the IBJJF Pan championships. In the the world of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu in the gi, this is considered a grand slam event.

People travel from all over the world to compete and watch this tournament. It just so happens to take place right in my backyard. It also happens to take place during spring break time when I had time off work.

It seemed silly, given those factors, not to sign up and compete. Even though I knew I would be unable to train and prepare to the full extent I wanted to, I signed up for the competition with high expectations.

Having competed the previous year losing my first match 0-0 via a referee decision, I went into this tournament hoping to improve on my performance but also on my results. Two very distinct categories.

I wasn’t unhappy with my performance from last year, but the results were definitely a gut check. They led to a reassessment of my training and preparation.

This year I signed up for a smaller local competition a month before Pans. I wanted to get a more recent reminder of the competitive atmosphere in my memory than the previous loss at last year’s Pans. I wrote about that tournament here.

Through a freak accident to the wrestling coach at our gym, I ended up taking over teaching the class. This meant not only more reps and training, but also much more time thinking about the wrestling and takedown aspects of BJJ competition.

I also took over teaching the Gi class that I normally attended since that instructor had moved out of the country.

Again, this meant a lot more mental preparation and thinking about techniques, even if the amount of time spent physically training was less than I would have wanted it to be.

I felt good going in to Pans. Mentally strong. Physically strong. I had a solid three plus weeks of very clean eating and living in order to get down to the lightweight limit. A roughly 10 pound drop from my normal walking around weight.

I arrived to the convention center early so I could have a long, low, and slow warmup. Waking up the body and the mind, as much as working out the nervous energy, I jumped right out of my jump rope. After about an hour of watching matches and intermittantly jumping, the set screw gave way, and one of the rope ends flew right out of the handle. It was strangely self gratifying in my ability to outlast the equipment.

I made my way to the weigh in and the fighter holding pen. Mutch different from my wrestling days, weigh-ins are immediately prior to your match as opposed to first thing in the morning. The fighter pen is a small cattle herd of metal barricades, keeping in the nervous energy and testosterone, jittering bouncing and going over final preparations for the combat ahead.

I felt the anxiety of the impending competition. Those familiar butterflies in my stomach, even after all the years of grappling. If that feeling is no longer present, I will have to rethink further competition.

Like I have done before every wrestling or BJJ match I can remember, I started my final warmup with an our father prayer. I followed that with my own prayer to wrestle 6 minutes hard. 6 minutes strong. 6 minutes smart. 6 minutes safe. To have a performance that I can be proud of, and that my family can be proud of. To be gracious in victory or defeat. To keep myself and my competitors free from injury.

My name was called along with my opponent for the first match. We shook hands and hugged before walking to the mats.

I bounced and stretched at the mats edge, trying to clear my mind, creating a blank canvas for the match ahead.

I’ve written before about the special place that competitive athletic endeavors have for me. Like walking through a portal, I feel transported. Stepping onto the mat, for those five minutes, (high-school wrestling matches are six and my prayer has not been updated, better to err on the long side anyway) everything else fades away. The canvas is blank to create a piece of art and tell a story, together with my opponent, without any of our other baggage.

We stood wrestling for the first two minutes or so of the match. I felt I had the upper hand with takedowns and pressed my advantage. After a few near takedowns, I saw my opponent gasp for a deep breath and change his stance and posture. I knew my next shot would be successful.

After scoring the takedown, I followed my game plan and won the match on top, threatening to pass his guard and attack his left arm. The match went about as well as I could have hoped for and I advanced to the quarter finals.

I had plenty of time to catch my breath, stretch, and recover before being called up for my next match. Again, I shook hands and hugged my opponent before walking from the pen to the mats.

Already in a better spot than I was the previous year, I knew winning this match would see me on the podium. That was the goal I had set for this competition, make the podium.

The match started similar to the first. We wrestled standing for a minute or so were I felt I had an advantage. My opponent recognized this and pulled guard.

We ended up in his 50/50 guard, a leg entanglement where our respective right legs are interlaced, knees to knee with him laying on his back and me standing.

It is a difficult position to get out of, and comes with the risk of an easy transition from bottom to top. That would give my opponent 2 points for a sweep and in all likelihood a deficit that would be hard to overcome.

I pressed forward, testing the flexibility of his hip and the strength of his lock on the other leg. With enough pressure I could break the lock and potentially attack the knee. I had to be careful to keep my balance, falling backward even if i stayed on top could give my opponent and advantage point that would be hard to overcome.

At one point, I was able to break the lock of his legs and press forward. He recovered, but i felt i was making progress. Before I knew it, the match was over.

0-0 no advantage points given. Under the circumstances, the match would be decided by the referee. My opponent won the referee’s decision.

To say I was disappointed by the results would be an understatement. It is hard to walk away with a loss, without feeling like you were beaten. It is a confusing mental space.

In contrast, I was happy with my performance. I was aggressive. I didn’t make any tactical or strategic mistakes. Every position I found myself in, I had a clear mental path forward. I was gracious in victory and in defeat.

I’m still not sure how to process the outcome. It isn’t a win, but it doesn’t feel like a loss either. Complaining isn’t helpful, nor is beating myself up or second guessing my performance. There are always areas to improve upon, but there was no glaring hole in my game that was exposed by those two matches.

I’m trying instead to shift focus away from the result, and back to the process. I have much more control over the latter than the former.

Focusing on the process is something I can change. I can take the frustration over the results and direct it somewhere positive. There are levers that can be pulled and dials that can be turned. The results, are what they are, and revisiting them is unproductive.

A cold damp run on a Toronto layover. The hairdryer I used to dry out my shoes afterward turned one of the insoles into a shrinky-dink

I can continue to work on my wrestling in the gi, not giving my opponents the chance to pull guard, or forcing them to do so from a place of weakness.

I can continue to develop a style that is aggressive and attacking. I can work to improve positions where I find myself stuck. I can find additional time to train, and prioritize bjj as i approach competitions in the future.

I’m disappointed with the results, but I’m content with my preparation and performance. Resetting my focus back to the process has brought some much needed serenity in the face of uncertainty over those results.

Some higher intintervals and some weight management rides

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.