Fatherhood – Page 5 – Serenity Through Sweat

Je ne sais quoi

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. This week I want to talk about an indescribable quality, a certain je ne sais quoi, that is a child first learning to walk.

Je ne sais quoi is a French phrase that is a used for “a pleasant quality that is hard to describe”. Literally translated, it means “I don’t know what”.

The first time I remember it being used was in a Sonic commercial for boneless wings. One guy says the wings are going to help him out with the ladies as his wingman, to which the other replies, “oh they’re going to give you that, je ne sais quoi?”. “Wait what did Jenna say, did she mention me by name?” Go back and give it a watch, it is still just as hilarious.

That hard to describe pleasant quality can mean a lot of different things based on the context. As Speedy is starting to test his legs walking, I struggled to come up with the right words to describe his (and every other child learning to walk) demeanor.

Perseverance, determination, discipline, there are plenty of words that come to mind when we don’t give up in the face of a challenge that we have deemed worthy of our time and energy.

Learning to walk obviously fits that description, but there is something different about a child’s approach to the particular learning process of walking for the first time.

Walking is an innate human ability, and thanks to modern medicine we can see examples of adults learning to walk again after some form of trauma. However, the approach is significantly different from that of a child learning for the first time.

Discipline doesn’t really apply because babies don’t have a regimen when it comes to learning to walk. Sure there are some things they try before taking those first steps (walking toys or pushing chairs, and pulling themselves up on furniture,) but those are organic experiments more than organized plans towards a desired goal.

El Duderino helping install cabinet locks and wash cars, he even brought his own tools

Perseverance is perhaps a little more apt, but still misses the mark. Most kids will pull themselves up on a surface, fall in an attempt to walk, and then appear to lose interest and revert to crawling, only to appear inspired anew in a few minutes. Is it really perseverance if it appears to be a first attempt every attempt, or if you seem to lose interest and the regain it on an apparent whim?

There is perseverance, determination, and discipline. There is pain, frustration, eventually triumph, and a slew of other emotions along the way. Still there is a innocent, indescribable, pleasant quality, a je ne sais quoi, about a child learning to walk that is inspiring.

Speedy taking his mobility vertical

As adults we encourage each other to take “baby steps” when learning something new. I always assumed this meant small, measured, slightly nervous steps, like, you know, a baby takes. Maybe I’ve been looking at it all wrong. Maybe that je ne sais quoi of a child’s learning is less about unsure legs and more about being undeterred in the face of upright mobility, and approaching the challenge organically when the body and mind are ready.

I still can’t quite put my finger on what exactly it is. But, if we all continue to learn into adulthood, the way a child learns to walk, with that certain je ne sais quoi, we’ll all be that much closer to serenity.

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Some windy runs (17mph in the face on my tempo run) and 10 rounds of heavy bag therapy

Reason

Thanks for joining me for the 100th edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. This past week has seen a dramatic uptick in tantrums from El Duderino, and the following quote from Frank Herbert’s Dune Messiah seemed especially fitting.

“Reason is the first victim of strong emotion”. If that doesn’t sum up a toddler tantrum terrifically, I don’t know what does.

It doesn’t matter what set it off, or what he was or wasn’t allowed to do/have/play with/ etc. Once he is in tantrum mode there us no reasoning with him.

A toddler temper tantrum is a pretty obvious example of reason giving way to strong emotion, but I started thinking about how often I’m guilty of the same thing, (and without the excuse of an underdeveloped frontal lobe)

The past year, with stresses from work, family, and everything COVID, how many times has my reason been the victim of my emotios? The answer is probably too many.

SerenityThroughSweat, breathing, exertion, perspiration, all help tremendously in processing, deciphering, and managing that emotion in order to return me to a reasonable state.

Tantrums lead to boo-boos, boo-boos lead to bandaid mustaches

Sometimes that’s not a viable option for me, and telling El Duderino to go take a lap doesn’t seem like the best parenting for a three year old, so my wife provided some much needed guidance.

From the Harvard Health Blog, the three steps to parenting a tantrum are to validate the emotion, ignore the dandelions, and praise good behavior.

Validating the emotion yelled your toddler you are listening to them and even if you don’t agree, you understand what the are feeling.

Dandelions, are the bad behaviors that pop up as a result of the tantrum. The blog equates giving them attention to watering them in your garden. What you water grows, or the behaviors you respond to persist.

Assuming alternate forms isn’t always result of a tantrum

Likewise, praising cooperative and good behavior will help the toddler come out of the tantrum and back into a reasonable state, or at least as reasonable as a three year old can be.

I think these same principles can serve adults with some sense of emotional awareness. Validate your own emotions. Be aware of them and feel them, but beyond awareness, only spend your time and energy on the emotions and actions that you want to grow, otherwise you’ll get stuck in the weeds.

And if all else fails, go take a lap and sweat your way to serenity.

Windy runs this week, intervals, tempo, and a 10k

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Attitude

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. I’ve been working my way through Lewis Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland while also sharing the the original Disney film from 1951 and the 2010 remake with El Duderino.

There is enough whimsy in Carroll’s works to make them enjoyable for readers of all ages, but also an engaging wordplay that adds an invigorating layer for more adept readers.

El Duderino getting in on the heavy bag training

Alice has just fallen down the rabbit hole and finally reached the bottom. She has spied the most beautiful garden through a small door but is much to big to fit through. She thinks that she ought to be able to collapse herself like a telescope, and that if she could just begin to, she would know how to do the rest.

Carroll narrates Alice’s mood early in the book saying “For, you see, so many out-of-the-way things had happened lately, that Alice had begun to think that very few things indeed were really impossible.”

I find myself often reciting my own version of Carroll’s message to my wife and El Duderino saying “not with that attitude” after they have decided that something or other can’t be done.

“I don’t think that bite will fit in your mouth”, or “you can’t carry all those toys in one trip”

A very merry birthday to the best wife and mother

Most of the time this is done in jest, or poking fun at my wife, since El Duderino still lacks the finer understanding of sarcasm. Nonetheless, the truth in Carroll’s words and my own version remain. Our attitude can go a long way in determining what is in fact possible.

All kidding aside, attitude plays a huge part in determining what we are capable of. Whether it is a physical project, a problem you need to think your way out of, or an emotional battle, the right attitude can make all the difference.

Some running with El Duderino to explore new playgrounds

This is especially true with toddlers, and a lesson I’m trying to improve in myself and model for my boys. The range of things that three year old boys are capable of with the right attitude versus the wrong attitude is staggering. The same goes for thirty something year old men.

Just as Alice discovers throughout her adventures, very few things are indeed impossible, but only if you have the right attitude.

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Awakening

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. Last week, I talked about appreciating the metaphorical mountains of fatherhood based on a Frank Herbert quote from his magnum opus DUNE. This week I want to talk about another fatherhood theme of the book.

The book contains many layers each of which can be dissected individually and discussed at length in their own merit. The central storyline though follows Paul Atreides and his awakening from adolescence into the role of prophet and leader.

Early on in the book, before his own sci-fi training and psychedelic fueled prescient awakening, Paul has an awakening of a different sort, watching his father command and battle plan.

“There is probably no more terrible instant if enlightenment than the one in which you discover your father is a man-with human flesh.” This quote is attributed to Paul, though much later on in his story and after years of reflection.

As is often the case word choice and perspective are critical for the message sent as well as the message received. “Terrible instant of enlightenment”, conjures up a scene in the life of a young man that is as powerful as it is pivotal. The word terrible commands the readers attention, and dictates the connotation of the scene imagined by the reader.

Rather than imagining a tragic scene of innocence lost, I prefer to think of this instant of enlightenment like a door that has never before been opened. You don’t know what is on the other side, and you can continue on in that blissful ignorance for as long as you like. But once the door is opened, you can never revert to your state of unawareness.

I remember my own awakening and the realization that my father was just another good man trying to do the best he could with the hand he was dealt. That is a story for another time, but it makes me think about what I can do to shape and guide the journey my own sons will have to that day of their own awakening.

I say shape and guide the journey because I don’t think there is anything that can be done to control or schedule it. A young man’s awakening might be delayed, preserving boyish innocence, but like an infant who hasn’t yet mastered the concept of object permanence, they will eventually see the door and become curious. My sons will go on until that fateful day under the same magical trance that engulfs all children.

They will face their own terrible instant of enlightenment, transitioning into manhood upon this realization, walking through their own door that will close forever behind them. I can prepare myself, that I may be the best version I am capable of being. And, I can guide them, that they are prepared for the world waiting beyond that closed door.

Some windy runs, especially the 5k with a jogging stroller wind anchor/running buddy

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Mountains

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. I have spent a lot of the last week (and the last nine months) snuggling a sleeping Speedy. I’ve tried to be productive with that time while also enjoying and appreciating the one on one time in his first year.

Productivity, with a sleeping infant strapped to your chest, and a rambunctious toddler in the other room who has a new found habit of screeching like an underfed seagull, is a relative term.

It mostly involves trying to stay away from social media or news feeds, and reading books, blogs, or otherwise useful forms of information. My most recent literary journey is Frank Herbert’s Sci-fi classic DUNE.

Published in 1965 Herbert transports you to a political and economic struggle between great houses on a desert planet called Arrakis. As the major players in the realm jockey for power, Herbert weaves in some unconventional wisdom that retains relevance decades past publishing.

“Any road followed precisely to it’s end leads precisely nowhere. Climb the mountain just a little bit to test that it’s a mountain. From the top of the mountain you cannot see the mountain”

This cold open quote at the beginning of a chapter brought to mind so much of what the last nine months has been like. A road to nowhere, inability to see the mountain we’ve been climbing, and it made me think about being a father in the time of a pandemic.

The runs this week all nasal breathing. It’s not natural yet, but it is starting to get easier.

I have been very blessed to be able to spend much of this time with my family. Watching my boys grow and learn, day in and day out is a privilege that many fathers forfeit in the name of financial responsibilities. Day in and day out growth and change is a bit like the mountain, you can appreciate other peaks and valleys from the top but not really the mountain itself. It is only from the starting point and during the ascent that you can really see the mountain.

Speedy was born at home at the beginning of all of the Covid craziness. Now, nine months later, he is crawling across the house and starting to pull himself up on low surfaces, despite his precarious lack of balance. He babbles loudly and often enough to make himself heard in an already loud family, and much to his mother’s chagrin, has become quite adept at using the few teeth he has cut.

I’ve watched El Duderino grow into his role as a big brother in a way that is as tragically humorous as it is inevitable, mimicking the relationship I had with my younger brother at that age. I’m sure my mother warned me about this, something or other about karma, I was too busy practicing wrestling moves on my brother to pay close attention.

El Duderino flips effortlessly between roles as his brother’s keeper and a toddler adjusting to sharing. He can be heard screaming “no he’ll choke on that”, snatching up small toys out of his brothers grasp, and also “stop that man!” As Speedy crawls towards him, eyes filled with a curiosity and wonder only seen in a newly mobile child.

Looking back across nine months, the mountain is tall, and the climb has been as exhilerating as it has been arduous. That perspective only applies when thinking back to the beginning. Each day examined on its own, seems more like a comedic rerun of the last, rather than an integral part of the mountain trail.

I hope I can maintain mindfulness and appreciation for the many mountains I will climb alongside my family. I hope that I can instill the importance of that perspective into my sons’ young minds. I hope that we all acknowledge the view from the top without forgetting to recognize the trials and triumphs of the climb.

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Tradition

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. With Christmas behind us, I was thinking about all of the things I did growing up with my family, and the things I want to do with my family now. I started to wonder, what makes a tradition?

By definition, a tradition is “an inherited, established, or customary pattern of thought, action, or behavior”. Basically anything we pass on to the next generation is a tradition.

Upper thigh parade in the new shorts for the 2020 Christmas Half Marathon

The creation of, and passing on of tradition is a powerful responsibility. I think it is important to not only explore the actions and behaviors that we are passing down themselves, but also the why behind them.

This year marked the ninth annual Christmas half marathon. What started out as an excursion in masochism and mindfulness to combat being alone on Christmas, has turned into something more.

Speedy and El Duderino ready to get the festivities started.

In 2012, after signing up for Ironman Florida to take place the following November, I ran 14.5 miles on Christmas day. While keeping my training volume up after a recent half iron triathlon and a century ride, the run was really about being on call over Christmas and not being able to see family.

As a charter pilot and particularly one junior at the company, I spent the next several years running half marathons on or around Christmas, either in different cities or on hotel treadmills. Finding solace in street, and comfort on the concrete, I pounded the pavement to combat the rising tide of frustration, emotion, and solitude that went hand in hand with professions that work through holidays, especially away from home.

Milk, cookies, carrots, and our letter to Santa

This pattern continued from 2012-2016. Five years, five half marathons, mostly a steam pipe venting pent up holiday emotions while working away from home. Then in 2017, El Duderino was born at the beginning of December. In addition, my grandmother passed right around Christmas in 2017.

I was planning on being home for Christmas 2017 one way or the other. But that year I was home with my wife and newborn son. I was in-between jobs on a sick time paid paternity leave from my prior charter job, and getting ready to start at a new airline that would be my career dream job. With a three week old baby, a well accumulated sleep debt, and the emotional toll of a lost family member very fresh, the pavement was calling for a whole host of new reasons.

2 is 1, and 1 is none, has never been truer than when your toddler takes your roller after you’re done running 13 miles. Thank God for backups

What started as an escape from solitude and an outlet for frustration, had changed with my growing family. There is a clarity that endurance challenges offer in a way nothing else can quite match. Whatever stresses or anxieties you lay on the alter of repetitive cardiovascular motion can be alleviated with the proper offering.

Over the past few years, managing my holiday schedule has become as much about being home with my growing family, as it is about making time to log those miles. My physical, mental, and emotional state has been different each year, and what I needed to get out of the run has been a little different as well.

A bold strategy for the days preceding the half marathon.

One aspect of SerenityThroughSweat is the process of working through those demons out on the pavement, in search of being a better person. The tradition of a Christmas half marathon, has helped me in what can be, despite it’s many joys, a stressful season.

Long distance running during the holidays has become an established pattern of behavior for me. While I would love to see my boys pick up and ultimately pass on that tradition, the run is just the mechanism and the reasons behind it, serenity, clarity, solace, relief, are what is truly important. I hope that those are the thoughts, behaviors, and actions, that are passed down through generations. In the end, I hope that I can raise young men who are capable of finding their own path to serenity, and making their own traditions

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Mayday

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. This week we celebrate El Duderino’s birthday. As I reflect on the past year of his life and all the growth I’ve seen, what sticks out the most is his behaviors surrounding help.

Mayday is a word most aviators hope never to have to use. It is the international radiotelephone distress signal, and when repeated three times it indicates imminent and grave danger, and that immediate assistance is requested.

The origin of the word mayday comes from the French, M’aidez, which is help me. Obviously there is a change in tone, connotation, and level of urgency when alternating between the two, but that is kind of the point. The difficulty as aviators, as parents, and as humans, is knowing when to ask for help and knowing when to say mayday.

This is a hard enough distinction for somewhat self reflective psuedo adults (yours truly), much less toddlers. When should I ask for help, who should I ask for help, and especially how should I ask for help, are all critical communication skills we could all improve upon.

El Duderino is at a stage where he wants to do things himself, but also needs a significant amount of help. He isn’t shy about asking for help, but it often comes in the form of a mayday like call from across the house. The desperation fills the room regardless of whether or not the situation demands it.

I’m left trying to parent the situation determining what the issue is, what type of help he needs, and if he needs to adjust his communication method before I provide such help. It is a lot to evaluate and even more to try to pass on to a toddler. Add on to that the fact that I’m still a little confused on what is the best way to approach the topic of “help”

In the bewildering and convoluted web that is modern masculinity, we end up with lots of different positions on help. Providing help to others, super manly. Needing help yourself, not so manly. Yet somehow admitting you need the help and actually asking for it, is somehow manly.

Picanaha, bacon wrapped scallops, and pork belly burnt ends birthday dinner

What is it about needing help, asking for help, accepting help, and providing help, that drives men of all ages to such silly mental gymnastics.

I won’t try to speak for all men, but I think for me it has a lot to do with conflict, like we talked about last week. There is value and growth to be found in conflict and struggle, and bypassing or shortening the conflict with help, could otherwise bypass or shorten the growth.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that tiny driving force called ego that gets in the way. Mine has certainly gotten me into a fair share of trouble often times because I was too proud to ask for help.

Speedy making friends at El Duderino’s birthday

When I do dig myself into enough of a hole that even my ego needs bailing out, I still struggle to ask for help. The request tends to mimic an old Dave Mathews song and my “grace is gone”. (Not that I have ever been accused of an abundance of grace to begin with)

Asking for help is an essential human behavior, and like most behaviors, it can be taught, learned, mimicked, and improved. Parents of toddlers know all too well how behaviors good and bad can be mimicked.

As El Duderino reaches his third birthday this is a skill I’m trying to improve in myself, so that I may provide a better example to teach him.

So the next time El Duderino starts screaming for help like he is going down over the atlantic, and the reason is that he can’t cram anymore play-doh into the cab of his matchbox dump truck, I have to remind myself that this is a teaching moment, and we could all use a little help.

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

A long run, a quick run, and a warm up before an EMOM kettlebell sandbag blowout

Flying Solo

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. This week my wife got away for her much needed escape which left me home with both boys flying solo.

This was the first time I had been alone with both boys for an overnight, and with the knowledge that no reinforcements would be coming.

Please fasten your seatbelts in case we encounter unexpected rough air

I decided to go to consult the operations manual to see what kind of helpful procedures would get me through. Much to my chagrin, there was no ops manual, (despite how many times I’ve told my wife that each child should have been birthed with one). In lieu of a manual, I decided to lean on my only other area of formal training, aviation, to help me through.

Thorough preflight: ensuring your craft is airworthy before heading up is a must. I tried to get my house in order, so to speak, before my wife left. This meant plans for activities, meal prepping dinners for El Duderino and I, and having bottles locked and loaded for Speedy, (especially in the case that he woke up in the wee hours of the morning)

Homemade crab cakes meal prepped for the duration of mommy’s excursion

Expanding your team: often times as pilots we can’t know all the information or have all of the expertise to complete the mission by ourselves. We need to rely on those around us and their expertise to arrive safely. Chic-Fil-A was a welcome part of the team and a much needed distraction for all of us. My wife also provided the idea of feeding Speedy in the car seat for a more mobile, one handed meal operation.

I’m very lucky that both boys were well behaved and (other than a quick one hour hiccup the first night) slept well. El Duderino played very well with Speedy, and was very understanding when his brother needed a little but more of my attention.

Workload Management: inevitably, some parts of the flight have significantly higher workload than others. Any work that can be done ahead of time during the low workload periods should be accomplished at those times. This meant washing and prepping bottles, rinsing diapers and doing other laundry, and even sneaking a workout and my mobility routine in was relegated to when one or both boys were sleeping.

Kids and Kettlebells, Speedy checking my simple and sinister form from the baby gates in the background

Known Threats/Expectation Bias: before every flight we try to identify potential threats to the operation. Some are internal, some are external, and some are made of our own biases. Expectation Bias is the idea that you expect something to happen and are likely to react a certain way even if the situation doesn’t happen or presents itself differently. I figured that Speedy would give me a hard time eating from a bottle since it is not the norm for him. That was what I expected to happen and when we was fussy I reacted according to that bias. So it took me a few tries to figure out that his fussiness over the bottle was really about something else.

Debrief: after the plane has landed and another day’s mission is done it is common to debrief the ups and downs normally over a beverage or two. This is a chance to learn, fix, unwind, and tell stories and it is just as important as any of the stick and rudder work. The same is true as parents, at the end of the day what worked, what didn’t, what was crazy, and what made you laugh, (and a beverage or two never hurt)

Venison neck roast tacos on the Z grill with everyone home for the debrief.

All in all the boys and I had a wonderful few days flying solo. There was no blood, minimal tears, and lots of laughs. It was a humbling experience to see what my incredible wife does everytime I go out on a trip, and I’m glad that I could facilitate some time away for her. Even without the ops manual, we managed just fine, and I found out coordinating a 3 year old and a 7 months old’s schedule is trickier than any crosswind landing.

Highlights from my wife’s well earned trip

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Questions

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. Election season is upon us, my work group is in the middle of a contract amendment vote, and all of us are analyzing how we adjust to COVID-19 measures in our day to day life. To be successful in any of these or many another endeavors requires asking questions, specifically, asking the right questions.

I just finished reading Freakonomics, the book by Stephen Dubner and Steven Levitt. For a book that claims to have no underlying theme, it is really a book about asking the right questions before accepting information that is provided.

The various topics themselves (while interesting) are really the backdrop for the true value in the book, which illuminates why we act the way we do. Most topics start with some assumption of the outcome, and then examine the incentives in place that help shape human behavior. The authors write, “Incentive is a tiny object with astonishing power to change a situation”.

As the book goes on, the questions asked generally challenge the conventional wisdom on a particular topic. After positing a question that challenges a typically held belief, the authors then go in search of data, that is run through unemotional regression analysis to isolate variables that are correlated. The results often clash head on with the conventional wisdom

There are several examples in the book that studied early learning test scores (K-5) and various parenting statistics both active and passive (age before kids were born, education level, spanking, screen time, one parent home between age 0-5). As a parent I was very interested to find out that the most highly correlated factors affecting test scores were either genetic or socio-economic, prior to your child’s birth. In other words, your life prior to becoming a parent has more impact on your child’s early test scores, than any of the at home pre-K educational work you can do. (Not that it hurts at all, it just isn’t statistically significant)

While this information is both fascinating and relieving (my boys aren’t doomed because I travel for work), it is the question that is far more valuable. The question being, what can I do as a parent to help my children be successful?

El Duderino helping out with the post workout shake, “Ma, where’s the protein?”

The answer is well beyond the scope of this blog, (although I believe being a role model for general well-being is a great start). Asking the right questions and searching for answers, not accepting what is thrust forth against the data, is another great place to start.

The same applies to the personal well-being, diet and exercise world. There are plenty of conventional wisdom trends that have recently been upended, from high fat low carb eating, to high intensity interval training, to intermittent fasting and fat adapted endurance athletes, the data show a myriad of possibilities that were shunned just a few years ago. Again, for the scope of this blog the individual programs are less important than the questions, what am I doing to be a better version of myself? Does the data support those decisions/programs?

For all of my colleagues voting on the contract amendment, I urge you to ask yourself, what is my incentive, and have I examined the data, rather than the popular narrative?

For all of us approaching election season I urge you to ask yourself, have I researched the issues and the positions rather than the popular sound bytes?

For your own personal growth are you doing the things you can to be better than you were yesterday? I hope you will join me on the path of asking ourselves the tough questions, and maybe even getting a little sweaty along the way.

Thanks for joining me, start safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Show Up and Put In

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. Today I want to talk about this year’s Sober October challenge.

I debated at first about my participation in Sober October this year. Eventually I realized that as much as I didn’t want to do it, that all of the reasons I could think of not to participate, were really just as compelling reasons that I needed to.

“Oh Hi there, I’m 6 months old” (*Speedy said as he popped out from his hiding place)

So this year’s Sober October challenge is no alcohol, no added sugar, and 10,000 kettlebell swings.

There are plenty of things written about the 10,000 kettlebell swing program and nothing I can say will add to it, especially before I have even completed it. You can find the original program here.

Kettlebell swings in and of themselves are not especially challenging. As a triathlete and an Ironman, I can certainly find beauty and serenity in suffering through repetitive motion. That said, I’m 3 days and 1,500 swings in and my forearms are shot and my glutes are on fire.

My Garmin watch died and is being replaced, so rocking the 2013 Suunto Ambit for this week’s running in-between kettlebell days.

I think the biggest hurdle when it comes to taking on a challenge of this kind, or any kind for that matter, is first just to show up, and then put in the work.

500 swings a day, 2 days on followed by 1 day off, for the month, until you reach 10,000. The beauty of the challenge is that it is binary, you either show up and put in the work, or you don’t, there isn’t really an in-between.

On day two of the challenge, speedy decided to wake up at 3:50, and El Duderino followed suit some time after 5 am. My wife was in desperate need of catching up on sleep, so it was on me to show up and put in the work as a dad. Not the ideal prelude to my 1:00pm cast iron rendezvous, but again, this month’s challenge is about showing up and putting in the work, regardless of what circumstances might arise.

Often times fatherhood feels eerily similar to these physical, mental, and emotional challenges we are faced with. Suffering through repetitive motion, with beauty and serenity to be found for those who can appreciate the struggle.

Beautiful FL fall day for some smoked picanaha and veggies on the Z grill

After all the excuses and the doubt, what Sober October is really about, is showing up and putting in the work through the repetitive motions of the day. Showing up for your spouse, showing up for your kids, and showing up for yourself. Putting in the work to be a better husband, father, and person, and maybe find some serenity along the way.

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

My new best friend for the month, a 54lb cannonball