Fatherhood – Page 8 – Serenity Through Sweat

What I’m thankful for

Sometimes the things we are thankful for are hiding in the background, to be discovered and appreciated years later

With thanksgiving here I’m thinking about what I’m thankful for. I’m extremely blessed with a happy healthy family, friends that enrich my life, a job I enjoy, and hobbies I’m passionate about. There are other things in my life that I am grateful for that are less obvious that I maybe took for granted because they are in the background.

My son was playing with toolbox in my garage and I remembered where that toolbox came from. It was Christmas gift from my father when I was about eleven or twelve. As an eleven or twelve year old I wasn’t particularly enthused with a toolbox as a Christmas gift. In fact I wasn’t very enthused with it for a number of years. But when I moved off to college and had a decent tool set I was very grateful and realized the true value of that gift.

Likewise my parents gave me the tools as a young child to lead an active lifestyle, and for that I am eternally thankful. There were lots of outdoor activities, sports, hobbies, etc and none was ever pushed more than another, just the idea of being active. This mindset as a child and as I continued to grow has led me to a number of adventures that wouldn’t have been possible without a basic level of fitness. That mindset of an active lifestyle has always been in the background, and like the toolbox, it has taken me years to appreciate what a special gift it was.

Throwback Thursday to 1992 wrestling practice

Camping and trekking in Philmont New Mexico with my father and brother. Biking along the Alsace wine route after getting engaged to my wife. Exploring temples and hiking in Thailand and Cambodia on my honeymoon, training for and completing an Ironman with a good friend. These experiences have all helped shape me as a person, a father, and a husband, and are all rooted in interpersonal relationships and athletic adventure.

A hilly day on the bike with my wife between Riquewihr and Ribeauvillé enroute to Obernai

Lots of steps on the way to this gorgeous view with my wife in Angthong National Marine Park Thialand

There are so many life changing experiences out there, but a lot of them require you to walk, climb, swim or sweat to reap the rewards. This is a gift I’m grateful for, and a gift I hope to pass on to my children, even if it takes them many years to appreciate it. What are you thankful for that’s hiding in the background?

Thanks for joining me on the journey towards Serenity. Stay sweaty my friends.

Father son Thanksgiving turkey trot 5k on the way to the playground

Today’s journey towards Serenity through Sweat

Pushing with purpose

The development and progression of my two year old son fascinates me and forces me to reexamine my understanding of behavior. He has developed a keen liking to the word “show”, and a habit of pushing on the baby gate that safe guards my TV and sound system. When pushing doesn’t work he stomps his feet and pulls. Until recently this was nothing a little talking and explaining couldn’t solve. And then he got big enough and strong enough to pull the gate down.

Watching this was a validation to me that the gate should be there, if it wasn’t, he would have unfettered access to all those buttons and knobs that toddlers love to play with, and would certainly wreak some sort of havoc and destruction on my sound system. But, as is often the case, the wisdom of my better half prevailed and the gate stayed down.

The impressive thing was my son didn’t go turn every knob to eleven, but sat back (further away from the TV than normal) and watched his show. He was pushing on the baby gate because that is the natural reaction to the barrier, and once it was down there was no more need to push. He was pushing without a purpose.

In a grappling context often times we push our opponent to set up a reaction. For most people if you push them, they push back, and we are counting on that reaction to set up a technique. However, if you’ve trained BJJ or wrestling for any length of time you have probably found yourself in a glorified shoving match rather than a productive training roll. I push you, so you push back. You push me, so I push back. We do this dance, reacting to each other for five minutes or so and then change partners without any knowledge gained or technique applied. It’s easy to find ourselves in the same situation as my son, pushing without a purpose.

Next time you train and you find yourself in a grappling shoving match try to visualize your technique beyond the push. The same goes for training in any sport, hammering out reps or pounding the pavement without an endgame is pushing yourself without a purpose. Keeping the goal in mind be it short term or long term is crucial to success. The purpose could be your first takedown on a tough opponent, finishing a triangle choke, or getting on the podium at a tournament. It might be your first 5k or it might be an ironman PR. It might even be just to feel a little bit better after a workout you didn’t want to do. Whatever it is, pushing with a purpose in mind will always yield better results.

Thanks for joining me on the journey towards Serenity, stay sweaty my friends.