Instincts

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. This week I want to revisit a topic that is near and dear to my heart. A topic that remains nebulous. One that I hope to have sorted out at some point before my boys stop listening to me.

I came across this article on the instincts of masculinity on Psychology Today. These types of articles always pique my interest. Maybe that is because the concept is so hard to pin down. Hard to define. Words are important. I am a sucker for definition after all.

The articles begins with a story about a family hike along a glacier. The father figure (the author and psychiatrist) describes his experience with his young son and dog in the frigid temperature and high elevation. He has a natural protective instinct, that spurs him to action. It isn’t something he is told to do. He just does it.

His own instinctual behavior up on the glacier, triggers a curiosity about male instincts and archetypal male behaviors which he then turns to AI chat GPT-3 to inquire about.

I thought Dr. Dubransky did a great job of making his case. He argues for the existence of three universal male behaviors. These behaviors emerge in almost every culture around the world, when examining archeological evidence, literature, folklore, and myths.

“A myth is neither completely true nor completely false. A good myth is one that artfully represents human experience…”

“Mythology may factor into recent studies that appear to posit the existence of “masculine instincts.” Universal behaviors (instincts) give rise to myths, not the other way around.”

Dr. Dubransky lists the three universal male instincts as: Fighting and Winning (Ares instinct), Providing and Protecting (Zeus instinct), and Mastery and Control of one’s emotion (Hades instinct).

One of the reasons that I find this article, and this line of thinking, so compelling, is that it provides a positive definition of masculinity. I don’t mean positive in the sense of a “good” connotation, but rather the existence of qualities that are defined as masculine. As opposed to the merely the absence of qualities that are unmasculine.

By identifying and describing these behaviors in myths and folklore across numerous cultures, it lends credibility to the idea that these behaviors are in fact universal.

Importantly, the quantity or absence of these behaviors does not determine masculinity. Nor is there a scale of masculinity that is discussed. But having behaviors that show up throughout our shared history is evidence of common attributes shared by men.

As much as I hate the term toxic masculinity, by this framework it would be an overabundance of Ares instinct, with a lack of Hades instinct. I think this is a much more effective way of assessing and defining problems with masculinity in a way that avoids disparaging the the entire gender.

I can see these behaviors in Speedy and El Duderino. These aren’t things that I have taught them. They come naturally.

They want to compete and win. Whether it is a race to the mailbox or finishing their dinner first. On occasion they will even compete to see who can clean up more toys (my favorite one)

They care for each other and are fiercely protective of what they value. Even at a young age that instinct is there.

We are working on mastering control of emotion. That is one I particularly struggle with, and I’m sure they are genetically predisposed down the same hard road. Still even El Duderino (who struggles as I did at his age) will bring his calm down kit to his brother’s aid.

Being a man is tricky. Being a person is tricky. Trying to fit an entire gender into a box is tricky. An understanding of universal instincts and behaviors can go a long way in paving the path to serenity.

thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.