Serenity Through Sweat

Rendezvous

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. This week I want to talk about the building blocks of those truly special moments in our lives. What is it that makes those particular encounters stick out and remain in the ever present collection and archival of our memories?

It think one of the most important building blocks in making memories is you. By that I mean, who you are on that day, in that time, and the context of your own personal journey that you bring to the excursion. Your mental, emotional, and physical state, and your ability and willingness to embrace the experience at hand all shape the memory.

Scampering up to double arch as a family

I have a very distinct recollection of a conversation with a young lady at a bar (in my single days of course) where I was instantly put off from any further interaction. She was lamenting the lack of things to do in Melbourne FL as compared to NYC.

She insisted that without the plethora of new restaurants and activities the city had to offer, she was doomed to a life of boredom. I tried to persuade her that new experiences were just as much about your mindset and approach as they were about the venue itself. Needless to say she was not persuaded and we went our separate ways.

I was training for Ironman FL at the time, and covering the same miles, finding the familiar cracks in the pavement and passing by the same landmarks each training session was still new, in spite of the familiarity and repetition, because I was a different person than I was the day before.

I think the next building block of those special memories are the people that are with you. There are some things that must be accomplished and experienced alone, and these become a part of who we are, but by and large we are social animals, who share experiences.

I relish in my individual athletic pursuits of triathlon and grappling, and I very much appreciate my solo time on layovers (especially since having children), but one my most powerful memories is the Canadian Schoolboys regatta in 2003. I believe it is so powerful because it was a collaborative effort with my best friends in highschool.

The five of us crossed the finish line in St. Catherine’s exhausted and anxiously awaiting the results, as the crew from E.L. Crossley had closed the gap in the closing meters of the race. In our depleted state we misread or misunderstood the results illuminated on the LED screen on the tower above us, and lamented our loss in the home stretch after having led most of the race. Our despair was short lived as our coach shouted from the overlooking cliff “(friend’s last name) you idiot, you won”. That collective reversal of despair to elation, shared amongst friends and brothers in competition, etched in my mind a memory that is powerfully potent all these years later.

Arduous sunrise trek up to delicate arch

One of the final building blocks of those raw and visceral memories is the what/where factor. There are some places and events that have a special effect on us. Scarcity has always been a driving force in value, thus remarkable landmarks or events that are one of a kind, or happen infrequently become inherently more valuable.

This past week my brother and I set out with my mom on an adventure for her birthday. We covered some 900 odd miles of driving, 15+ miles of hiking, and 6+ miles of paddling across the American southwest in three days, during a record heatwave.

Brotherly competition knows no age limits

The special combination of beautiful landscape, present company, and my own mental/emotional headspace made for a trip I will always remember, and be forever grateful for.

Being with my mother and brother, sharing in the picturesque natural phenomena, and momentarily suspending the rigors of work and the demands of being a father and a husband, created a consumate canvas on which to make a masterpiece memory.

Thank you both for the remarkable rendezvous.

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Enough

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. I just finished Primal Endurance by Mark Sisson and Brad Kearns, and wanted to talk about one of my biggest takeaways from the book; when enough is enough.

As a niche follow on to their previous work The Primal Blueprint, Primal Endurance eschews the same values of the earlier work onto the hard charging, type A endurance athlete.

In a space where more milage is always thought to be better, and training consistency is key, the author’s urge a more simplistic and intuitive approach as seen in the quote below.

I remember an almost identical quote from Altered Carbon which I wrote about back in March of 2020 (Dystopian Shopping). The rebellion leader Quellcrist Falconer tells her disciples to “Take what is offered, and that must sometimes be enough”

The thought that too many of us are pushing beyond what is safe, sensible, or strategically sound, is a common thread that most endurance athletes can agree on, if we are able to step back for an honest assessment.

The same holds true for aviators who are required to make that same assessment before each and every flight. When is enough, enough?

I can look back at my career as an aviator and as an athlete, and pinpoint the times when I failed to address this question properly. Each time I asked myself to deliver more than I had to give, mistakes were made, and consequences ensued.

Some mistakes were small, imperceptible even. Some where larger and embarrassing or painful. Some of the consequences were minor, while others were dire. Thankfully these are experiences I have been able to learn from and share.

As athletes we are encouraged, whether by a team, a coach, a culture, or even ourselves, to push the limits and test the boundaries of our own achievement. And while I believe this to be one of the noblest pursuits to engage in, it is easy to get carried away.

El Duderino’s new rug really ties the room together and testing the capacity on the new youth sleeping bag

As aviators we tend to be mission driven, and that makes it even easier to take more than is offered in the name of mission completion. While our track record as an industry is impressive, most of us can attest, (I certainly can) to going to the well too often.

I think this trend extends into parenthood sometimes as well. There is a cultural feeling amongst American parents that you are only as good of a parent as that which you sacrifice for your children.

I love my boys deeply, in a way that is impossible for me to simplify into a few paragraphs on a blog. I know that this love has, and will continue to, drive me to take more than I would be otherwise willing or able to give from myself in service to them.

It isn’t even a choice on a conscious level, but one that I think is already a predetermined guiding principle in most parents. That makes it even more important, to respect when your body has given enough in the other aspects of your life.

Building aerobic base, trying to trust the process chewing on the bridle of restricted heart rate

With training volume increasing ahead of Ironman FL 70.3 in December, flying schedule ramping back up, and the demands of fathering two young boys, I have a lot on my plate. I have a creeping feeling of anxiety, that I’ve bit off more than I can chew, and what I have to offer won’t be enough.

I have tried to cultivate habits and a lifestyle that maximize my potential, and facilitate challenging pursuits. I am still learning to respect my own limits, and take only what my body has to offer each day, letting that be enough. While it is difficult for me to relinquish attachment to the outcome, I’m finding serenity in the struggle, and hoping and trusting that it will be enough.

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Proper

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. I’ve been on a bit of a diet and nutrition reading kick lately, and I wanted to share some insights I’ve gleaned, as well as how those ideas cross over into other areas of my life.

I remember one particular group training ride when I was preparing for Ironman FL in 2013. With an on call work schedule most of my rides were solo, as my availability was different than people with “normal” 9-5 type schedules. Still I tried to get out with friends or the local velo group that met up outside the wing joint/surfer bar whenever I could.

I was joining the B group for 20ish miles at an 18-21 mph pace, and the group leader had pulled out last minute leaving another regular member to take over as the pace setter up front. This rider was already planning on joining the ride, just not leading it, but I remember her saying “I didn’t have the proper nutrition today for this”

Before we go any further I can’t introduce “proper” without the applicable wedding crashers reference.

Clearly John, Jeremy, and the hatted young lady all seem to have differing definitions of proper, so what exactly is proper, and how does it apply to our nutrition?

Back to the original story, the ride was uneventful, in fact I don’t think I could tell you anything else about it, but that comment is something I remember all these years later.

Now conventional wisdom in the triathlon community supported her assertion, that there was a right and wrong nutrition prior to efforts of different lengths and intensities. I can personally attest to the effects of having the wrong nutrition both through bonking (running out of energy on a workout specifically glucose in the brain) and a host of gastro-intestinal issues that are better left to the imagination.

Still, the idea that otherwise well fed athletes could have the “wrong” or “improper” nutrition for a relatively minor change in training than their original plan seemed farcical to me, even though I understood it and had experienced it.

I wrote a few weeks ago about metabolic flexibility, and you can read that post for more details and links to check out when it comes to alternating between fuel substrates. The cliff notes version is; not taking in the “proper nutrition” for a mundane training ride is not a concern for metabolically flexible athletes.

Sunny FL days at the splash pad, and daddy improvising after forgetting a dry change of clothes.

Humans are designed to function in the face of widely varying caloric inputs and outputs. Think hunter/gatherers persistence hunting for a few days before successfully bringing home the bacon (literally). I think you’ll be okay if you skip that Clif bar in-between second breakfast and elevenses (or all of those calorie consumption opportunities for that matter)

Missing a snack or even a meal shouldn’t leave you phoning it in for the rest of day. As Vick’s reminds us, Mom’s and Dads don’t take sick days, nor do they get to omit parental responsibilities in the face of hunger, (or sometimes hAnger)

The question remains, what then is proper nutrition? As in most cases, taxonomy is important and proper is defined as follows; “adapted or appropriate to the purpose or circumstance”. I think adapted is of particular importance. In the case of our bike group leader, her body was adapted to a specific level, type, and timing of caloric consumption, and thus her nutrition could have been improper for the circumstance. (We’ll give her the benefit of the doubt anyway)

Whereas we are all genetically capable of high functioning without caloric input, if/when our bodies are adapted. In our bike ride example the adapted part of the definition of proper is mostly focused externally (on the nutrition/fuel), when it should really be focused internally (on the body/engine).

If you could only fill up your car’s gas tank from one particular pump at one particular station and it only held a few gallons, your everyday errands would be logistically challenging. Yet, that is the paradigm of “proper nutrition” promoted by conventional wisdom like “grazing” eating multiple small meals, and incessant snacking.

Whether it is in the context of an athletic endeavor, a day parenting, or working around the house, proper nutrition, is that which allows you to complete the mission without compromised performance, and without thinking about it. There are many ways to get there, but some are much more cumbersome than others.

My proper nutrition is continually evolving and changing. But there are some guidelines that help me hone in on what works. I want to enjoy and appreciate my food, rather than obsess over what, when, and how much I’m eating. I want to feel unlimited by my fuel, no bloating, no bonking, and no detrimental health effects. I’m working on being more open-minded as to what types of food and eating patterns help me meet these goals. What does your proper nutrition look like?

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Teammate training ride, MAF treadmill test, and layover morning miles in Tulsa

Health values

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. This week I want to talk about health values and decision making in health and wellness.

I recently heard Dr. Anthony Balduzzi as a guest on the Primal Blueprint Podcast. Dr. Balduzzi is a naturopathic medical doctor who runs the Fit Father Project, a website and fitness program geared towards helping busy fathers get and stay fit and healthy.

Speedy and El Duderino’s first camping trip

This is a goal that is as admirable as it is enormous, especially considering the myriad of health issues that plague most Americans. What stuck with me more than any of the specifics of Dr. Balduzzi’s health and fitness recommendations, was his take on the use of goal setting.

There is plenty of research and technique on goal setting, how to do it effectively, the benefits it has on outcomes, etc… What Dr. Balduzzi does with his clients, mostly father’s, is get them to link their goals to everyday health and wellness choices.

Getting used to the sleeping bag and the tree tent

While individual daily habits are easy to overlook, if those same habits tie in to your overarching goals they will be easier to maintain.

Want to be able to play with your kids, a morning mobility practice will lubricate muscles and joints and help prevent injury.

Want to go on that family hiking trip, eating a healthy diet and losing a few pounds makes climbing the mountain that much easier.

The best hiking destinations have playground at the end

Want to live long enough to be a part of your grandkid’s lives, a regular exercise routine promotes longevity.

And while it’s sometimes hard to see how reaching for pecans and berries instead of Ben and Jerry’s makes you a better father. If you’re goal is to be able to keep up with your kids on adventures well past your 60’s one of those choices is supporting your goals while the other isn’t.

SerenityThroughSweat is paradoxically both a selfish and at the same time selfless pursuit. The mental and emotional reprieve, the hormonal release, and the physical benefits of SerenityThroughSweat are ones that I alone enjoy. At the same time, being a healthier, stronger, calmer, father and partner is something that pays dividends to the whole family.

Aligning your health and wellness choices with your overarching goals means you need to first identify those. These can be as specific or as broad as they need to be based on your own situation.

Two zwift rides with 3400′ of climbing. Happy to feel back in the saddle with team TriGoodBeer

Maybe you want to be able to plan that family hiking/biking trip, or maybe you just want to dance at your child’s wedding. For me, I never want my health or fitness to be a reason I turn down an opportunity, especially one for a family experience.

While that isn’t always the driving motivation of my health and wellness choices, (that selfish part of SerenityThroughSweat) it is a guiding principle along the journey.

Stroller running El Duderino to the neighboring playground

What are your goals and are your current health, wellness, and lifestyle practices supporting them?

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Restricted movement

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. We’ve had numerous episodes talking about mobility, flexibility, and the importance of a movement practice, this week I want to talk about when our movement is restricted.

Or more specifically when my movement is restricted.

We are going to take a trip back to 2008. As a junior in college I was playing a lot of ultimate frisbee, running quite a bit, (with no attention to form or mechanics) and eating the staple diet of an American college student; pizza, beer, and whatever was free.

Homemade lava popsicles for El Duderino, and espresso pops for daddy

As a lifelong athlete and a hard charging 20 year old, I was in pretty darn good shape despite what I know now to be destructive habits. At one point I was running 12:30 for a two mile loop around my neighborhood after wolfing down value brand hotdogs and a natty light for lunch.

But that year, while home in buffalo for winter break, I woke up one morning and was unable to put weight on my left foot. No precipitating event, just getting out of bed was enough for my body to shut it down.

El Duderino and I on our Greenway playground ride

My mother was working at a hospital system at the time and I was able to get in quickly for a series of x-rays and consultations. At the ripe old age of 20, I had arthritis in both ankles.

I spent the next few days in an air cast, binge watching Lost, and feeling sorry for myself. Then I went down the internet rabbit hole of endurance sports.

quite a workout hiking with El Duderino around the black hammock nature trail

The way I figured it, I hate being told what to do, and even more so what not to do or what I can’t do. So not being able to put weight on my foot, naturally, I wanted to go the extreme other end of the spectrum. I wanted to run an ultra marathon, and I started researching events around me in Florida.

Now to this point in my life I had always been an athlete, but running was something I did to cut weight for wrestling or crew. I don’t think I had ever run more than a 10k as a cross training workout for one of my other sports.

As winter break wound down I was able to get back to normal. The way that most twenty something’s take for granted, that leads those of us in our thirties and older to say youth is wasted on the young. No PT, no rehab, no special diet, just binge watching DVD’s and thinking about running.

Getting back to school I went right back into the same patterns. I did try to run a little bit more like a gazelle and less like a linebacker, and for whatever that was worth it seemed to help. I didn’t end up doing my first triathlon for another few years, but I remember that experience of restricted movement as the catalyst for my foray into endurance sports.

I spent a large portion of last week stuck in my hotel room in Atlanta. While I was in the simulator getting back to work I had a COVID exposure and had to quarantine for a week. Despite feeling fine, and actually having more time for my many wellness related practices, (thanks to my rockstar wife manning the fort with El duderino and Speedy in my absence) I felt that familiar feeling of restricted movement creeping in.

It was the perfect time for one of my best friends and training partners to pitch me the idea of another Half Ironman. I hadn’t wanted to take on the longer distance since having kids, due to the training demands, but that feeling of being restricted may have overwhelmed my better judgement and the entry fee has been paid.

slowing down, and trusting the process. Building aerobic base with MAF heart rate.

Starting to build my aerobic base and milage back up is exciting and anxiety inducing. But, as anyone who has ever had their movement restricted can tell you, whether it was an injury, a government policy, or a training partner’s nasty pinning side control, being restricted often leads to periods of renewed growth and determination.

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends

P.S. totally fine, tested negative multiple times, happy to get back to the family.

Flexibility

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. I’ve had some extended reading time this week, (more on that later) and I’ve been able to work my way through Two Meals a Day by Mark Sisson.

The book goes through diet, nutrition, exercise, and lifestyle changes all in the pursuit of metabolic flexibility. According to Sisson, and his co-author Brad Kearns, metabolic flexibility is “the capacity to match fuel oxidation with fuel availability, or switch between burning carbs and burning fat”.

El Duderino picked out a new toy after successful overnight potty training

The idea is that the Standard American Diet has led most of us down a path of carb dependency. If the body only ever uses carbohydrates as the fuel source it will “forget” how to burn fat as fuel. This is a use it or lose type of bodily mechanism, but one that can be retrained.

Mark and Brad are far more educated and eloquent in all of these areas, and if you are interested in these ideas, Marksdailyapple.com is a great place to learn more.

“Hello, front desk, we need more towels in room 1335” (Speedy *probably)

Beyond the diet and nutrition information, just the idea of flexibility in general is one that I’d like to reflect on. Having spent the majority of my adult life in jobs that are “on call”, and almost my entire life as a grappler, I appreciate the value of flexibility in all of it’s varying forms.

Being on call as a pilot has been an extremely rewarding and empowering career option. On call status forces me into a level of flexibility with regards to planning and prioritization that would otherwise be unattainable. When you never know when you are going to work, or how long you will be away when you do, anything you want to accomplish has to be easily adjusted or rescheduled.

When that post workout cold plunge is dialed in

All martial arts but especially grappling arts demand flexibility in multiple aspects of their application. Many of the techniques and physical movements require a robust flexibility just to be a baseline participant. Because they are arts, different styles emerge that require flexibility in how you attack, defend, and plan tactics and strategy. Finally any training regimen in martial arts is bound to incur bumps, bruises, and the occasional more serious injury, and this demand a flexibility in scheduling and approach to training different from other endeavors.

With a myriad of experience training, grappling, and flying on call, I feel confident in my level of flexibility. Still El Duderino and Speedy find ways to challenge that confidence.

Being a parent has been by far the part of my life that requires the most flexibility. This my come as a shock, but toddlers don’t care about your plans. The tight rope walk of setting boundaries while also modeling flexible behaviors and decision making is a daily struggle.

If metabolic flexibility is being able to seamlessly transition between fuel sources for a more efficient operation of the human machine, I want to model the same sort of seamless transition and flexibility for my boys when plans start to go awry. I want them to see that changed plans can mean new opportunities. I want them to roll with the punches as a part of their world view. I want them to be flexible in mind, body, and emotion, (and metabolicly too) because that represents an optimum human condition.

Much like serenity, flexibility is not a destination to be arrived at, but rather an attribute that must be actively sought after and trained. I hope that I can continue in the pursuit of both flexibility and serenity, and that one day my boys will take up the journey as well.

Back to sweating on hotel cardio equipment, trying to train MAF and fasted.

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Level of concern

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. Celebrating Mother’s day this past weekend had me thinking about the mother’s in my life and what makes them so special. While they exude more qualities than I have the poise or prose to present, I think more than anything it is their dependability.

I spent the waning hours of Mother’s day getting ready to go back on the road for work. This meant meal prepping, (for both myself and the family) packing bags, and studying checklists and procedures. I knew didn’t have to think twice about my wife’s ability to handle the rambunctious boys with grace and aplomb whilst I was otherwise occupied.

For that matter I don’t worry about them when I am on the road. Sure I think about them and I know the difficult situations and challenging logistics parenting two young boys solo presents. Still, I know that this is an endeavor in which she excels, doing a far better job than I ever could, day in and day out.

My level of concern is never taxed, knowing that she is capable, and they are in good hands. That alleviation of concern is such a powerful gift that mother’s give to their sons and their partners.

El Duderino has been going through a particularly needy phase where mommy has to be the one to help with whatever the present problem is. Whether it is pushing his pants down to use the potty or separating stuck toys, mommy is the only one capable of providing assistance.

While this is particularly frustrating since often times I’m right next to him trying to help and my wife is otherwise occupied, she has that magical mom ability to bring down his level of concern and return him to a benevolent toddler state.

No matter how old I get, or how difficult and different the problems in my life present, there is a calming effect that talking them through with my own mother always seems to provide.

The popular Twenty One Pilots song of the same moniker says “you could bring down my level of concern, just need you to tell me we’re alright, tell me we’re okay.”

Thank you to all the mothers out there, especially the ones in my life, who are constantly bringing down our level of concern, and helping use get closer to serenity. Happy mother’s day.

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

5k, a ride with Layla, and a stroller run with El Duderino to pick up supplies for a Mother’s day craft project

Energy

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. This week I’m studying up to get back to flying, and I’m thinking about energy.

Flying is in large part a management of energy. You are moving a couple hundred thousand pounds of people, metal and combustibles at very high speeds and very high altitudes, only to return them safely to the ground.

El Duderino burnout the creative energy at Crayola Experience

Acceleration from standing still to eighty percent the speed of sound requires a lot of energy. Descending, decelerating, and configuring for landing, all demand a lower energy state, so that energy must be managed.

Long days flying multiple missions means I have to manage my energy state throughout the day as well. Add in nonstandard sleep schedules in becomes another complex problem to manage.

Most of the decision making that goes into flying an airplane is in one way or another, an energy management decision. For that matter, so is parenting and fitness.

Keeping your pace in check, monitoring your fluid and fuel intake, relegating your heart rate and breathing through the various sets, rolls, and miles, are all forms of energy management.

Speedy standing in the spray at the splash pad

Keeping your kids hydrated, eating real food, on some semblance of a sleep and nap schedule, and definitely running around outside to burn off some of that precious energy is a daily struggle (often one of futility)

Managing that energy properly, in every aspect, leads to better outcomes and it is a delicate balance. Expend too much energy, and you are going to have a hard time slowing down the aircraft and landing, finishing your workout, or dealing with ornery kids. Don’t expend enough energy and you won’t get off the ground, you won’t make any gains, and your kids will be doing backflips at bedtime.

The boys at dino world and sunset over lake Erie

Everything we do requires at least some of our energy, which makes it a precious commodity and one that should be spent wisely. Frank Herbert describes energy in Dune Messiah saying,

“Between depriving a man of one hour of his life and depriving him of his life there exists only a difference of degree. You have done violence to him, consumed his energy.”

While this might be a somewhat extreme view, the idea hits home, especially as I start to get busier. Energy gives you life and it’s your life, manage it wisely. Thanks for using some of yours to spend this time with me.

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Conquer

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. This week we made a family project out of rehabilitating our conquered side yard.

I say conquered because the side yard was suffering from a very specific problem. Our water system was malfunctioning and dumping salt water into the surrounding soil.

Like the conquerors of old, the earth was left scorched and salted, preventing any sort of regrowth.

History is filled with examples, both recorded and theatrical, of conquered lands left as scorched and salted earth. The question left is how to rebuild and regrow?

El Duderino helping with the color profile

Grass was clearly not the answer since the salt prevents new growth. So we decided to go with a hard scape. That meant lots of heavy lifting from yours truly.

3 ton of stone, 1,600 lbs of cinder block, and another thousand odd pounds of pavers later, we had reclaimed our conquered side yard.

We added planter boxes for herbs and veggies, and flowers in the cinder blocks for color. The once conquered space is better than it ever had been or even could have been for that matter.

The scorched earth presented the necessity to rebuild, but also the opportunity to reimagine and redesign the conquered space.

Being conquered is not the ending, it is a state of transition. It is in that transition, that struggle, that defines the path ahead.

A lot of things have been scorched, salted, and otherwise conquered over the past year, what are you doing to reimagine the space going forward?

El Duderino’s first fishing trip with grandpa while daddy got some laps around the lake in

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Control

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. This week I want to revisit another Dune quote that I was thinking about while wrangling my raging toddler.

I’ve spent the majority of my life in the practice of controlling and manipulating other people’s bodies. Wrestling and jui jitsu, at their core, are martial arts of control.

The rule sets are somewhat different, which alters the strategies, reactions, and the way that engagement with an opponent plays out. But, both are incredibly similar in the objective of controlling and manipulating your opponent into a certain positions or techniques.

With jui jitsu especially, I’m reminded of another Frank Herbert Dune quote. “He who can destroy a thing, has true control over it”

In the context of the book, Herbert is talking about a natural resource, and that the ability to destroy it, but also the ability to be without it after it is destroyed, is the true measure of control.

In jui jitsu, the goal to submit your opponent often manifests as true control of a joint. Armbars, shoulder locks, and chokes, are all a form of control over another person’s body, with the ability to destroy that particular part.

Jui jitsu is self described as the “gentle art”, because despite the ability to destroy another person’s joint being the main focus, it can be practiced (if done correctly) at full intensity, without fear of injury. The same thing is hard to say for other martial arts especially ones with striking.

While Herbert’s definition of control is incredibly accurate and very fitting for grappling arts, I would submit that it is overlooking a different element of control that is equally as important

The last two weeks Speedy and El Duderino have transitioned back into daycare. They visit a small in home facility with a provider that takes wonderful care of them. Speedy has been happy as a Clam, but El Duderino, being older and having spent the past year home with us, is struggling to adjust.

This has brought on many of the inconsolable temper tantrums that “allegedly” were frequent in my younger years. I find myself now on the other side of the equation, and trying to exert over it a modicum of control.

I find it interestingly ironic that a toddler having a temper tantrum can be accurately described as both out of control, and self destructing. If the ability to control a thing is based on the ability to destroy, one if our definitions needs a reworking

Once again I find myself manipulating and controlling bodies, this time a raging toddler instead of a fellow grappler. With that change comes a different meaning of control.

The most difficult opponents to grapple are those that respond and react in unpredictable ways. That sums up the movements of a temper tantrum pretty well. Once it escalates to a level where my 40+ lb tasmanian devil could hurt himself, his little brother, or start breaking things, I step in with the attempt to control.

With just shy of 30 years of grappling experience, it isn’t hard to keep him in positions where the risk of injury or property damage is almost non existent, regardless of his erratic movement. Just like the gentle art he can be at full intensity and I’m not worried about hurting him. But unlike the gentle art, I’m not looking to destroy anything (except maybe his current mood)

This type of control has, as it’s foundational definition, compassion and preservation rather than destruction. When I’m truly in control of him I’m no longer worried about him hurting himself or somebody else. Just like a wrestler who lifts his opponent off the mat is responsible for his safe return, this level of control is focused solely on the safety of the other.

I would argue that while being able to destroy a thing is indeed control over it, being able to prevent it’s destruction requires just as much, if not more control.

I’ve always been grateful for the many gifts that grappling has given back to me over the years. This new level of control is just one more blessing, and one I look forward to sharing with my boys (once they no longer require me to practice it on them of course)

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Running, cycling, and heavy bag with a predatory audience