Tag: Coloring

Nerve

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. I wrote a while back about being brave (Fostering Comfort) referencing Ned Starks remarks in Game of Thrones. He tells his son the only time a man can be brave is when he is afraid. My dad sent me a series of quotes on my birthday this year that I think fit our current situation a little better.

“People often say I am brave, but I’ve never said I am brave. What I think I have is nerve, which is not the same thing. Being brave or being courageous is doing something you are afraid to do and I don’t do anything that I’m afraid to do. Nerve is different.When you prepare to do something, whether it’s sailing a boat across the ocean or climbing a mountain or doing anything that has an element of danger, you prepare yourself and your equipment as well as you possibly can given your resources. Having nerve is the willingness after you’ve done all your preparation to embark upon something whose outcome is uncertain and may be fatal”

Powerful words from one of the world’s greatest explorer/adventurer.  Webb Chiles said this in an interview after completing his sixth solo circumnavigation of the globe at age seventy seven.

I’m not trying to compare going to the grocery store amid a global pandemic to a solo journey around the world, (although the former requires significantly more gear and planning than before all this happened).  The similarity lies in the outcome, and the level of uncertainty.

This virus has turned everyday activities like shopping, walking, shaking hands, and hugging, into activities with an uncertain outcome.  Trying to avoid a virus you can’t see, smell, or hear is somewhat of a sisyphean task. Even if the odds are low after coming in contact with COVID-19, the potential is there to be fatal.

That means everything we do now, what before seemed like everyday, ordinary, tasks, require nerve.  We prepare our bodies, our minds, and our equipment, and then we embark on an activity whose outcome is uncertain.

In the interim, this will result in heightened levels of stress, anxiety, and fear. But, when we do finally turn the corner, we will all able to channel that nerve into other pursuits, serenity among them.

Thanks for joining me and stay sweaty my friends.

This week in quarantine; the daddy drawn coloring book expands from vehicles to dinosaurs, I try my hand at baking bread, and a quick 5k stroller run with El Duderino to maintain some sanity and Serenity if only for the briefest of moments.

Providing as a Father

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. The continually changing situation we find ourselves in with COVID-19 has got me thinking more about an eventual conversation I will undoubtedly have with my son.

I’ve day dreamt about this since my wife first told me she was pregnant. My child comes home from school and is tasked with asking his father what it means to be a man, and report back to the class. That’s a doozy of question and I don’t think it has a clear cut answer. Gender norms and 2020 politics and posturing aside, a large aspect of the answer for me always comes down to being a provider.

Being a provider can mean different things to different people, and it certainly meant something different to me just a few months ago. With uncertainty in my career and my ability to bring home a paycheck, what does being a provider mean?

I had already planned to be out of work for April, awaiting our second child, so this coming month at least isn’t a total shock.  During this time, I’m trying to keep my focus on being a man, and being a provider within that capacity.  While I may not be able to provide a paycheck (I do have some PTO to go with my FMLA) there are a lot of things I can provide regardless of the circumstances.

I can provide a loving and caring atmosphere. At two and change years old my son doesn’t really have any concept of what’s going on. He just knows daddy is spending a lot more time with him reading books, coloring, riding bikes, and chasing the garbage truck around the neighborhood. He doesn’t understand the weight of the world situation, and I can control the vibe he does feel and provide that positive environment.

I can provide a positive example.  It is easy to start a self pity party with all the negative effects of this pandemic, but self pity is a wasted emotion.  Lord knows I’ve spent more than my fair share of time at my own pity party, and every day is a struggle, but RSVP’ING NO is a choice I can make for my little guy.  It does make it easier that he has no context for the situation and thus no empathy. If daddy is being sullen and sulky, he will pick up on that in a heartbeat. So soldiering on with a smile for the little guy is the only way forward.

I can provide household relief.  Even when working a full schedule I do the lions share of cooking and a decent amount of cleaning, laundry, landscaping, and other household tasks.  It means a lot to me that I can have some control over the food we put in our bodies and that I can provide healthy and nutritious meals for our family.  With additional time home I can expand upon those tasks to help my family.

A few posts ago I talked about changing our world view to adapt to new demands.  This is a change in world view for me, about being the best father and husband I can be, in a dynamic and uncertain world.

I’m grateful for a great many things in this life, and being able to maintain some semblance of calm in the chaos, and provide some positivity as a father and a husband in these turbulent times is one of them.

Thanks for joining me, and stay sweaty my friends.

This week’s SerenityThroughSweat in quarantine, bike rides with the family finding “stinky dirty” the orange digger. A solo ride with Layla. Throwing some arrows down range at 20yds. A quick sweaty run, and last but not least, working on my artistic skills to keep the little guy interested in things to color.