Communication – Page 2 – Serenity Through Sweat

Expression

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. This past weekend my wife and I celebrated our collective birthdays attending a concert. The opening act reminded me of the beauty of expression.

Not to be confused with the post by the same name from last Christmas, which discussed the variety in expression of beers following the German purity law or Reinheitsgebot. This is all about the beauty of self expression. (To be fair if you express yourself by creating beer that is beautiful and I salute you)

Alan Chapell sat alone on the stage, with nothing but a small electronic keyboard in front of him. He felt accessible. Maybe too accessible. It was a great thing for the audience to feel that close to the artist. But I’ve seen it go wrong with redesigned kiosks, gate agents, and flustered passengers, too many times that I had a sense of unease on his behalf.

El Duderino playing with his pecker (his name for the toy parrot, get your mind out of the gutter)

Before each song Chapell gave a quick four or five sentence introduction. What his inspiration was. Who the song was for. Some small story or anecdote from his life at the time of the song’s creation.

Chapell’s fingers danced across the keys as he sang his stories. Each offering was a small piece of his life. A moment in time. The thoughts and feelings, the interactions with a lover or a friend. Each song a work of art, not necessarily because it was a great music (it was), but because he did such a masterful job of distilling the moment. Taking the complexities of life events and presenting them in clear three minute chunks, with melodies to boot.

Building a dog house for his valentine’s day present

To be honest I’m not sure how much I was enamored with the music, so much as I was captivated by him as a storyteller. I was definitely tapping me feet, clapping, and swaying along. In the end his ability to express his innermost self was far more impactful than his musical stylings.

I recently heard Jordan Peterson on the Joe Rogan podcast say “the pathway to success for virtually everyone, is facilitation of their capacity to communicate” I had to go back and play the quote three or four times to make sure I got it right. Those fourteen words pack a punch.

Jordan Peterson also discussed how music matches the rhythm of our humanity. How moving along with music is instinctual. It is in our DNA.

I couldn’t help but think about the music I listen to. Why I like it, and what it says or means to me. What the artists were trying to express through their chosen medium. How this blog is largely a vehicle for my own personal expression. A facilitation of my own capacity to communicate.

One of the most gut wrenching things I do as a father is watch my boys struggle to express themself. At 4 and 2 respectively, El Duderino and Speedy fight an uphill battle based purely on limited vocabulary and phonetic acumen.

Some mobility work and a 5k in the new kicks while home

But beyond that, all words are inherently abstract. The way we describe our inner feelings are approximations at best. Now we are taking about shared approximations described with abstract symbols to try to convey some sense of meaning. Throw in a societal predisposition (especially based on gender) to close off certain feelings, and it’s a wonder any young man can express himself at all.

I’m appreciative of the opportunity this platform has provided. I hope that someday my boys can look back on it. I hope that they can see the growth of their father. See my mistakes and shortcomings. My desire towards self improvement. When viewed on a long enough timeline, hopefully, an increased capacity to communicate.

Post concert spin bike and some layover miles in CAE.

Thank for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Tools

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. This week I came across an interesting article on language and tool use that fits in well with my research, as well as the topics that we cover here.

The article appeared in the journal Science and the study by Thibault et al. examines the neural patterns that are activated by syntax and tool use.

The scientists used functional magnetic resonance imaging to measure neural activity during a series of experiments. One set of experiments tested participants during tool use, using manual actions as a control. The other experiment tested participants on a linguistic task with complex syntactic structures.

The tool experiment had participants using mechanical pliers to insert small pegs into different holes. The syntax experiment had participants read complex sentences and then answer questions. An example provided was “The scientist whom the poet admires writes an article”. They then had to judge statements such as “The poet admires the scientist” as being true or false.

The experiment showed that the same area of the brain, the basal ganglia, was activated, and activated in similar ways, by both the tool use as well as the language task.

The researchers then performed a similar experiment on a new group of participants where they participated in a linguistic task, then a motor task, and then a linguistic task again. The control group either watched an unrelated video or performed manual task with their hands in between linguistic tasks.

Adventures on the bourbon trail with my favorite adventure partner

The experimental group showed a significant improvement on the second linguistic task, performed after tool use, as compared to the control group.

The theory is that enhanced neural priming and neural plasticity increased linguistic ability in the second test since (as mentioned from the first part of the study) the same area of the brain is used in both tool use and language use.

This strikes me as not only interesting in the many different ways it can be (more on that here), but also as a wonderful segue into one of my favorite sayings and a lesson I learned from my father. Having the right tool for the job makes all the difference.

Sure dad you can go away if you bring back more mojeskas.

Anyone who has ever worked construction, engaged in any sort of DIY or home improvement project, or even just arts and crafts with the kids knows having the right tool can make all the difference. And, while it is possible to get the job done without the most suitable tool, it is often more cumbersome, clunky, and challenging than it needs to be.

In the case of our experiment, tools and language are interchangeable, (at least if you are measuring brain function by fMRI) so we end up with having the right word for the job makes all the difference. The job of course being an effective exchange of ideas and intention.

Early birthday celebration for El Duderino with Grandma

Another favorite saying on this blog (that I picked up from an AP Chemistry teacher) is that taxonomy is important. Words are important. Having the right word, and being able to use the right word is a critical part of being able to effectively express your ideas.

This blog has been a way for me to increase the size of my linguistic toolbox (along with many other benefits I get out of writing). Reading and research (especially research since academics are often harder to understand than lawyers) also help expand my toolbox.

One of my first blog posts was about receiving a toolbox as a gift from my father and not appreciating it until years later. I hope that I can gift both of my boys with both physical as well as linguistic toolboxes, so that they always have the right tool for the job be it communication or manual.

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Tough roads

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. My wife said something to me this week that I had never heard before and it fell right in line with our ongoing discussion of words.

I don’t even remember the context of the conversation, but my wife said “that is going to be a tough road to hoe”. Having never heard that expression before I started thinking about it figuratively, literally, and maybe even a little etymologically, and decided I couldn’t make any sense of it.

I understood the meaning that my wife was trying to communicate, so an effective transfer of ideas did in fact happen, but the line didn’t make any sense to me. Why would you use a hoe on a road, that’s not what the tool was designed for. (As a humorous aside, I told her a tough road to ho, would make sense, but that’s not the point and I digress)

After some very quick phone research (what a time to be alive and be able to settle marital discussions with a device in our pockets) I discovered the etymology of the phrase is “a tough row to hoe”. The phrase has been misheard and then repeated incorrectly enough times to stick, as was the case with my wife.

What is particularly interesting to me in this case is the exchange of meaning. I knew what my wife meant. She knew what she was trying to convey. The exchange took place in spite of the words being used to transmit the message being somewhat nonsensical.

This phenomena happens all the time with parents and kids. I had always attributed that to kids being language learners, and some level of translation as a parental ability.

De la Soul providing the offeratory hymn for this kettlebell session at my backyard temple of SerenityThroughSweat

El Duderino for example is very fond of saying “green beans go”. He says this as a parroting response to hearing my wife say “green means go” when she is stuck behind a driver playing on their phone as a light turns from red to green.

The changing of one character of the twelve, completely changes the implicit meaning of the sentence. But, when used in context, (El Duderino in his car seat behind a stopped car at a freshly changed green light) I can still understand what my three year old is trying to convey. (When he says it at dinner after I’ve smoked green beans for three hours it is equally adorable despite it’s semantic inaccuracy)

It failed to occur to me that we are all continuous language learners, and that a similar level of translation is necessary for effective communication amongst adults, albeit at a much lower frequency.

In the grand scheme of things correcting” a tough road to hoe” versus “a tough row to hoe” is really rather pedantic. In many relationships it could have led to a argument or fight, and I understood what my wife was trying to tell me. So why bother with correcting it or even trying to understand the phrase, especially when an effective communication had taken place?

In discussing the language philosophy of how performative utterances can be “unhappy” J.L. Austin says “in ordinary life a certain laxness in procedure is permitted- otherwise no university business would ever get done!”

I think the tight rope to walk here, is the level of laxness that allows business to get done, along with level of adherence to proper protocol that ensures communication is not unnecessarily degraded. That is a treacherous tightrope indeed.

Words are important, communication is important, and true understanding is even more important, (and of course the most difficult of the three to truly accomplish). It may be a tough road, but it seems to be one worth walking (or hoeing if your level of laxness will permit)

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Uh-Oh

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. Over the last couple of weeks, I have been doing some research on a new project that is a somewhat related labor of love to the blog. While I’m not ready to reveal the details of the project just yet, it is based around language and communication.

I remember having a conversation with one of my ultimate frisbee and triathlon friends Josh, where he used the analogy of an iceberg to describe hobbies. Like the behemoth that sank the Titanic, only 10 percent was visible from the surface, the rest was hidden underwater. Almost any activity worth pursuing, tends to have the same characteristic, especially when being observed by a beginner.

The only way you will ever know how big the iceberg is, and how deep it goes, is to get wet and dive in to the topic headfirst.

So for the past few weeks I have been swimming in the waters of language and communication, getting just the beginnings of sense, of how big the iceberg really is.

This blog in many ways, has been a learning tool for me. A means by which I can grow as a writer, communicator, father , and so many more things.

This quote from Jerrold J. Katz in The Philosophy of Language, describes this idea eloquently, if not for the over academic rhetoric;

Don Quixote and sancho out to slay the dinosaur

“the process of linguistic communication is conceived as one in which the speaker, in his production of speech, encodes his inner, private thoughts and ideas in the form of some external, publicly observable, acoustic phenomena, and the hearer, in his comprehension of speech, decodes the structure of such objective phenomena in the form of an inner, private experience of the same thoughts and ideas. Language is thus viewed as an instrument of communication of thoughts and ideas which enables those who know the same language to associate the same meanings with each of the significant sound sequences in the language.”

Katz is obviously talking in this example about spoken language, but the same concept applies to written language. It is an instrument by which we convey inner, private experience of thoughts and ideas to one another.

Yet as anyone who is married, or has kids, or both, can attest, there is great frustration when the inner private thoughts of the speaker (or writer) and the hearer (or reader) don’t sync up.

Meal prepping for my solo stay with the boys, brisket, burnt ends, sausage lava balls, and smoked cream cheese.

This is one of the greatest causes of frustration for all humans, and the instrument in question (language/communication) is one whopper of an iceberg.

It was with this research fresh in my mind, that I noticed a particularly behavior in Speedy that is as relevant as it is adorable (except for the cleaning up)

Speedy is babbling a lot, (as most 16 month old do), but it’s also becoming more effective at communicating his wants and needs. One thing he has picked up on is “Uh-Oh”

Speedy before he starts experimenting with gravity

It normally takes him a few tries, you may hear an “uh-uh”, an “oh-uh”, or even an “oh-oh” before he gets it right, but eventually the “Uh-Oh” comes out, normally followed by a parentally reciprocated smile.

Speedy has figured out that contextually, this particular instrument of language is often uttered when something falls. Of course for those of us using it in a classical sense this means whatever was dropped was on accident.

Speedy often takes a more deliberate approach in order to practice his new favorite language instrument, throwing whatever he can get a hold of off his highchair tray and then practicing his vocalizations.

Speedy mastering the Uh-Oh after the food throw

Without totally ruling out that my 16 month old has a strong grasp of irony (not unreasonable considering his genetic makeup), he is using his language instrument in the way he has observed his brother, mother, and me use it. When something hits the floor we often say “Uh-Oh”. Still, I can assure you regardless of my reciprocated smile, our private inner thoughts are not the same after the fourteenth broccoli floret finds the floor.

His I can only presume is an inner thought of triumph at both the correct usage of “Uh-Oh”as well as the mastery of the modern marvel that is gravity. My inner thoughts vary from amused to annoyed based on what iteration we are currently on.

It is relatively easy with a 16 month old to see when the communication process breaks down. Especially with modern means of mass communication, how many “Uh-Oh” moments do you come across in a given day? Is it possible you have some without even realizing it?

Lots of sprint watts and lots of miles on the trainer

Words are hard, finding the right ones is even harder, and trying to understand someone elses private inner thoughts based on sometimes inadequate word choices is next to impossible. Language is the instrument that sets us apart, and serenity awaits those who can matter their instrument.

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

This week also saw a short run, a kettlebell workout, and a (hopefully) minor injury on my return to Jui jitsu.

Lost in Translation

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. I’m working my way through The Immortality Key by Brian C Muraresku, and a recurring theme is the true message of some ancient text being lost in translation.

Muraresku is a modern day Indiana Jones and his book walks you through his years long quest for an understanding of the world’s oldest religion.

It’s easy to get lost in the swagger and swashbuckling that Harrison Ford portrays on screen, and forget that behind every adventure in a lost temple, were hours buried in a book studying the ancient languages.

Muraresku embarks on an adventure that only he can, because in the end he is the only one able to read the treasure map. A student of the classics, he meticulously follows breadcrumbs left in a mixture of Latin, ancient Greek, Sanskrit, Castellan, German, and English.

What he finds are the clues that have been hiding in plain sight, in large part due to translation gaffes, either unwitting or intentional.

Following Muraresku’s story I’m reminded how fragile our communication really is. There are so many opportunities for our message to be “lost in translation” on a day to day basis, even without the perils of centuries old dead language.

Muraresku demonstrates, in sometimes hard to follow detail, the effort and energy required to find the intended message through translation. What we are left with is a different message entirely. Which begs the question why don’t we put that same effort into our everyday communication? After all, we are mostly speaking the same language not trying to revive the original content from a centuries forgotten dialect.

From inadequate ability to encode our feelings into a message, transmitting that message through a faulty medium, or improper decoding of the message, everyday communication is a minefield that demands precise navigation.

A value has been placed on instantaneous data transmission, at the expense of verification, which is a much more time and labor intensive process. Who cares what you felt, how you’ve grown and changed, and what message you wanted to disseminate, when the 140 characters you tweeted a decade ago are readily available for instant scrutiny?

The desire to be understood, to clearly communicate our wants and desires to others, is universal, and begins as soon as we are born. Yet somehow the same desire to understand, and to properly translate the incoming message has been left lagging behind.

Whether it is a frustrated child, a tired spouse, or a centuries old prophet, we could all find a little more serenity, by taking the time to translate the message and communicate better.

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Hiking with my favorite adventure partner

The Missing Dollar

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. One of the things I struggle with the most as a husband, a parent, hell as a human, is communication. I think a lot of communication problems are rooted in perception, specifically different perceptions of the same event.

I remember first hearing the missing dollar problem on a boy scout trip. I think it was a way to quiet us down on the long bus ride between Buffalo and Washington DC. It goes a little something like this:

Three guys are going to share a hotel room that costs $30 and they each give the clerk $10. The clerk realizes an hour later that the room only cost $25 so he gives the bellhop $5 to give back to the three guys. The bellhop can’t figure out how to evenly split it between three guys, so he keeps $2 and gives each of them $1 back. So each guy originally paid $10 and got $1 back for a total of $9, and the bellhop kept $2. $9 x 3=$27 + $2 = $29, but the three guys originally paid $30, where is the missing dollar?

It’s easy to get caught up in the missing dollar. Like many word problems, the information is there, but the presentation matters. 9×3=27 +2=29 makes sense, is good math, is easy to follow and leaves a dollar missing.

But if we follow the money, the clerk has $25, each guy has $1 for a total of $3, and the bellhop has $2 so all $30 is accounted for. The cost of the room ended up being $27, $25 to the clerk with an invoultary and unknown $2 going to the bellhop. Then, each guy gets $1 back so the 25+2=27 for the cost of the room + the $3 refund accounts for all the money. The focal point isn’t the $27, it is deciding whether the bellhop’s $2, or the guy’s $3 was accounted for in that $27 based on the information given.

It’s easy to get sucked in to either interpretation of the numbers (especially the wrong one) based on your perception. Beyond being a fun math problem to stump your friends and relatives, I think that is the point.

Whether it is interacting with your spouse, your kids, your coworkers, or anyone for that matter, it is easy to get caught up in the wrong perception and fixate on “the missing dollar” of that particular situation. In the age of information, it isn’t hard to find facts or math that supports your preconceived ideas or notions. The fixation that results is often a source of the polarization of so many issues we see today.

In our example 9×3=27+2=29 is good math. It is an erroneous argument, but all of the individual components check out, it just has one piece of bad data. But without knowing, understanding, or being able to otherwise rationalize the correct information, the comfort that comes with the known math outweighs the uncertainty of not being able to explain the more reasonable answer (that the dollar is not in fact missing even though the math doesn’t work out)

Projectile therapy, and not too shabby despite time away from the stick

I see this most often in myself when I am resistant to changing my opinion even in the face of new information. The original opinion is almost always based on assumptions, information, experience, and judgement, but if any part of those inputs turns out to be incorrect, the logic putting them together still holds up. That is why it is often so hard to change our minds. There is almost always some element of truth and logic to the way we arrived at our opinion.

The next time you find yourself unable to reconcile an old opinion in the light of new information, try to find the “missing dollar” in your reasoning. You might just find some serenity along the way.

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.