Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. I often think about what it is to be a man and what it is to be a father, specifically through the lense of communicating that message to my boys, early and often. And while the answer is nebulous and is something of a moving target, the search for the “answer” seems to always give me something I needed in that moment.
Obviously COVID-19 has dominated the news cycle and most of our thoughts recently. It’s hard to find even the simplest of tasks that hasn’t been affected at least in some way. That said, the mission statement of men and father’s hasn’t really changed. Sure the circumstances are different but the mission remains steadfast.
Which brings me to duty. In the movie gladiator, the General Maximus asks his servant Cicero, “Do you find it hard to do your duty”. Cicero replies, “Sometimes I do what I want to, the rest of the time I do what I have to”. This really spoke to me as father in these strange times.
I believe that in order to be effective at one you must be effective at the other. The two go hand in hand. You cannot do what you have to as a father without some balance of doing what you want to. Likewise if you only ever do what you want to, the things you have to do will suffer.
Obviously balancing the two is tricky even in the simplest of times, which has made the last few weeks even more complicated. Too much focus on doing what you have to do, can be like trying to cut down a tree with a dull blade. Although stepping away from the tree feels like abandoning your primary duty, you are sometimes better off to step away and sharpen the saw.
Steven Covey put forth this idea in his book 7 habits of highly effective people. Sharpening the saw can come in all sorts of shapes and sizes, but should cover physical, mental, emotional, and social aspects.
Sharpening the saw may seem like a luxury only for those with leisure time, but it is an important part of the duty of being a better man and a father. I have always found that I am in a better mood, I think more clearly, and I make better decisions after I have trained, or completed some sort of task that would seen otherwise not mission critical.
While primary focus these last ten weeks has been on providing for the family and guiding them through these uncharted times, that has left an imbalance in doing what you have to vs. doing what you want to. The shutting down of so many activities due to COVID-19, especially ones with a social aspect, makes it ever more difficult for father’s to sharpen the saw in the same ways that they would have before.
In ever changing and difficult times the duty remains, and is more important than ever. It’s vital to remember that a part of that duty is keeping your tools sharp, and in the case of Serenity Through Sweat activities, doing what you want to, and not just what you have to will make you a better husband, father and person.
Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.
This week’s SerenityThroughSweat, sharpening the saw with sewing, swings, and stroller runs. All alliteration aside, stay home status is starting to stagnate