Thanks for joining me for the second of a three part post. The previous post (Finding Calm in the Chaos) talks about the mental space required to push through when we start feeling overwhelmed, this post will talk a little about how we can build that skill.
There is a line in the first chapter of the first book of game of thrones where Ned Stark lays down some serious wisdom to his young son Bran. Bran is about to watch his first execution “bran thought about it, ‘Can a man still be brave if he is afraid?’. ‘That is the only time he can be brave’ his father told him.”
The lesson here is something that transcends literature and the father son dynamic. The true accomplishment worthy of recognition, is the overcoming of the obstacle, being brave when you are afraid. Being brave absent of fear is uneducated bravado, but overcoming fear in spite of the knowledge and understanding of it, is worthy of praise. The same can be said for fostering comfort in uncomfortable situations. It is only an accomplishment to cultivate a sense of comfort in an otherwise uncomfortable situation.
One of the things that I appreciate having wrestled and grappled for the majority of my life is the plethora of opportunity to foster comfort in uncomfortable situations. Not that this is a skill that is easy to develop, but grappling, especially during formative years provides plenty of opportunity to develop the skill.
It is also a skill that largely defines the arena of triathlon. The argument can be made that a grappler can find success because of his/her ability to be more comfortable than the opponent, or because of technical advantage. In triathlon, most competitors are on the same technical playing field when it comes to running, cycling, and swimming, or at least close enough to not make a huge difference, especially in the long courses. So often times the difference comes down to who can be the most comfortable when pushing into that uncomfortable zone.
Being comfortable in uncomfortable positions can be bit of an ambiguous idea, so I’ll define what it means to me. The ability to maintain composure, deescalate breathing and heart rate, and think tactically while under some form of duress, are critical skills in both sport and life. This is also a skill that can only be improved within itself.
For example if you want to run faster you obviously have to run, but you might also stretch, lift, or do plyometrics. The skill of running faster can be improved outside of running, by different forms of cross training. There is no cross training for being uncomfortable. Learning how to be comfortable, can only happen by repeatedly being exposed to uncomfortable situations.
Being comfortable in uncomfortable situations is a skill that builds on itself, meaning, the better you get at it, the more you can do it. The greater ability you have to remain calm under pressure, the longer you can stay under pressure and still perform. Similar to swimming, the better you are at it, the faster you can go with less effort. This is also a skill that can translate to your personal and professional life as well.
Maybe it is a group project at work with some interpersonal friction that is causing an uncomfortable situation. Or it could be a tricky parenting decision, but either way, maintaining composure and thinking tactically (finding comfort) is the key to navigating these uncomfortable situations.
Next time you find yourself in an uncomfortable situation, try to dig in and embrace it. Maintain to your composure and appreciate the opportunity to grow the skill of fostering comfort. Once you’ve got that down you can start to manufacture your own discomfort to improve your adaptation response (similar to what we talked about in smooth seas). Being comfortable in uncomfortable situations can help us all on the journey towards Serenity.
Thanks for joining me and stay sweaty my friends.
