Grappling – Page 2 – Serenity Through Sweat

Bad Mood Rising

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. As COVID-19 continues to direct our everyday lives, and quarantine and social distancing measures carry on, a lot of negative emotions that normally run in the background are bubbling up to the surface.

Just like the classic Creedence Clearwater Revival song, many of us may find a bad mood on the rise during these times. I think it’s important to recognize we are not our thoughts or emotions, but we are largely defined by our actions and choices.

Having negative thoughts, having a bad day, feeling angry, depressed, afraid, jealous, etc… Does not make you a bad person. Thoughts and emotions are natural parts of being human, and the “negative” feelings have their place. It is up to us to be mindful of these thoughts and feelings and choose to act on them with purpose.

We carry these negative emotions with us all the time. They are a natural and normal part of us. Most of the time they are a small fraction of the whole. Like an ounce and a half of yeast in six cups of flour. But with the right environmental stressors, that tiny amount of yeast can cause us to bubble over. But those emotions can also help us create something beautiful.

Many times over the course of this last week, I’ve found myself jealous of my wife. She went back to work as a teacher two weeks after giving birth, and is maintaining caring for our family with her new work schedule like a rockstar. I on the other hand, am still adapting to what my self identity looks like staying at home and not flying. I know this emotion is based on my own uncertainty and insecurities. It is a constant battle to be self aware enough to remind myself that this is a natural, (even if uncomfortable) feeling, and that my outward demeanor as a husband and father is my choice.

I think any of us at home with kids, particularly toddlers, are finding new limits to our patience. El Duderino, at two years old doesn’t understand why we can’t go to the playground, or the library, or to see his friends at daycare. And those frustrations, along with the normal two year old toddler temper tantrums, are enough to test anyone’s mood. It’s my job as his father to maintain composure despite the uncertainty, and throughout the temper tantrums, to foster a nurturing environment.

Now more than ever, Serenity Through Sweat, is a vital part of my mental health regimen. Especially for grapplers, who are normally used to relieving stress by consensual choking, finding alternative and positive physical outlets is crucial. Those negative thoughts and feelings can control us, they can define us, or they can fuel us. The choice is ours, and the path to serenity is long.

Thanks for joining me and stay sweaty my friends.

This week’s Serenity Through Sweat, my second go around and homemade bread, (the first batch didn’t have yeast) some stroller run miles with El Duderino, and throwing some arrows down range in the backyard happy place.

Peaceful Vs. Harmless

Thanks for joining me here at the SerenityThroughSweat blog, this is the third of a three post series that all kind of ties together. The previous posts (Finding Calm in the Chaos, and Fostering Comfort) are available here, and set the stage for today’s post.

To summarize, finding calm in the chaos is a mental skill of being able to relax within ourselves when things start going crazy. The only way to do that is to actively put ourselves in uncomfortable situations and develop a level of comfort there. In today’s post we will talk about testing those theories so they can be managed and improved.

Most of us probably have a friend, family member, or co-worker, who we can describe as calm. But what does that mean, and how does it help us on our way to serenity? The following quote from Stefan Grant got me thinking about our calm and comfort discussion, “you cannot truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of great violence, if you aren’t capable of violence, you aren’t peaceful you’re harmless, important distinction”

As a martial artist and a lifelong grappler, this speaks volumes to me, and it is a paradigm that I believe most martial artists have, often times without realizing it. When practicing any technique that has the potential to harm a training partner or an opponent, a certain level of restraint and personal mastery is required. Those that lack this restraint are generally weeded out entirely or exist only on the fringes. This is the heart of the case for being peaceful instead of harmless. Skilled practitioners who are able to continue training without hurting their partners/opponents, are capable of violence, but are also capable of harnessing that violence into a peaceful practice.

I believe the same mindset applies to calm and comfort. If you haven’t fostered your comfort or calm from a place of discomfort, you aren’t comfortable, you are complacent. Only by fostering a sense of comfort through times of discomfort, whether naturally occurring or manufactured, can we truly be comfortable. Just like a man can only be brave when he is afraid, he can only be comfortable and calm when amidst chaos. This is the measure by which we can test ourselves.

I think it is a fair assumption to say that calm, comfortable, and peaceful are all desirable qualities. So in turn, managed and risk assessed, violence, chaos, and discomfort, should be embraced as learning tools and opportunities. I should point out this IS NOT me advocating for violence or chaos in a classical sense. But, it is possible to describe lifting weights in a controlled but violent manner. You can have a training roll or wrestling match that is chaotic. You can have large portions of workouts that are both physically and mentally uncomfortable. All of these can also describe family or professional situations. How many times could you have described your work day as chaotic? These words (violence, chaos, discomfort) are merely descriptors, and can take on different connotations based on contextual intentions.

The path to Serenity through Sweat is paved with uncomfortable, chaotic, and violent scenarios. And navigating that path requires us to find our calm, foster our comfort and maintain a peaceful practice. Luckily for us, the path is long and the opportunities are many.

Thanks for joining me and stay sweaty my friends.

Today’s Serenity through Sweat, 10 miles on the Buffalo Bayou trail and then some mobility work for the #14daymobility challenge.

Fostering Comfort

Thanks for joining me for the second of a three part post. The previous post (Finding Calm in the Chaos) talks about the mental space required to push through when we start feeling overwhelmed, this post will talk a little about how we can build that skill.

There is a line in the first chapter of the first book of game of thrones where Ned Stark lays down some serious wisdom to his young son Bran. Bran is about to watch his first execution “bran thought about it, ‘Can a man still be brave if he is afraid?’. ‘That is the only time he can be brave’ his father told him.”

The lesson here is something that transcends literature and the father son dynamic. The true accomplishment worthy of recognition, is the overcoming of the obstacle, being brave when you are afraid. Being brave absent of fear is uneducated bravado, but overcoming fear in spite of the knowledge and understanding of it, is worthy of praise. The same can be said for fostering comfort in uncomfortable situations. It is only an accomplishment to cultivate a sense of comfort in an otherwise uncomfortable situation.

One of the things that I appreciate having wrestled and grappled for the majority of my life is the plethora of opportunity to foster comfort in uncomfortable situations. Not that this is a skill that is easy to develop, but grappling, especially during formative years provides plenty of opportunity to develop the skill.

It is also a skill that largely defines the arena of triathlon. The argument can be made that a grappler can find success because of his/her ability to be more comfortable than the opponent, or because of technical advantage. In triathlon, most competitors are on the same technical playing field when it comes to running, cycling, and swimming, or at least close enough to not make a huge difference, especially in the long courses. So often times the difference comes down to who can be the most comfortable when pushing into that uncomfortable zone.

Being comfortable in uncomfortable positions can be bit of an ambiguous idea, so I’ll define what it means to me. The ability to maintain composure, deescalate breathing and heart rate, and think tactically while under some form of duress, are critical skills in both sport and life. This is also a skill that can only be improved within itself.

For example if you want to run faster you obviously have to run, but you might also stretch, lift, or do plyometrics. The skill of running faster can be improved outside of running, by different forms of cross training. There is no cross training for being uncomfortable. Learning how to be comfortable, can only happen by repeatedly being exposed to uncomfortable situations.

Being comfortable in uncomfortable situations is a skill that builds on itself, meaning, the better you get at it, the more you can do it. The greater ability you have to remain calm under pressure, the longer you can stay under pressure and still perform. Similar to swimming, the better you are at it, the faster you can go with less effort. This is also a skill that can translate to your personal and professional life as well.

Maybe it is a group project at work with some interpersonal friction that is causing an uncomfortable situation. Or it could be a tricky parenting decision, but either way, maintaining composure and thinking tactically (finding comfort) is the key to navigating these uncomfortable situations.

Next time you find yourself in an uncomfortable situation, try to dig in and embrace it. Maintain to your composure and appreciate the opportunity to grow the skill of fostering comfort. Once you’ve got that down you can start to manufacture your own discomfort to improve your adaptation response (similar to what we talked about in smooth seas). Being comfortable in uncomfortable situations can help us all on the journey towards Serenity.

Thanks for joining me and stay sweaty my friends.

Today’s Serenity through sweat, 30min peleton HIIT ride and some simple and sinister KBs, and then some mobilization work from The Ready State

Pushing with purpose

The development and progression of my two year old son fascinates me and forces me to reexamine my understanding of behavior. He has developed a keen liking to the word “show”, and a habit of pushing on the baby gate that safe guards my TV and sound system. When pushing doesn’t work he stomps his feet and pulls. Until recently this was nothing a little talking and explaining couldn’t solve. And then he got big enough and strong enough to pull the gate down.

Watching this was a validation to me that the gate should be there, if it wasn’t, he would have unfettered access to all those buttons and knobs that toddlers love to play with, and would certainly wreak some sort of havoc and destruction on my sound system. But, as is often the case, the wisdom of my better half prevailed and the gate stayed down.

The impressive thing was my son didn’t go turn every knob to eleven, but sat back (further away from the TV than normal) and watched his show. He was pushing on the baby gate because that is the natural reaction to the barrier, and once it was down there was no more need to push. He was pushing without a purpose.

In a grappling context often times we push our opponent to set up a reaction. For most people if you push them, they push back, and we are counting on that reaction to set up a technique. However, if you’ve trained BJJ or wrestling for any length of time you have probably found yourself in a glorified shoving match rather than a productive training roll. I push you, so you push back. You push me, so I push back. We do this dance, reacting to each other for five minutes or so and then change partners without any knowledge gained or technique applied. It’s easy to find ourselves in the same situation as my son, pushing without a purpose.

Next time you train and you find yourself in a grappling shoving match try to visualize your technique beyond the push. The same goes for training in any sport, hammering out reps or pounding the pavement without an endgame is pushing yourself without a purpose. Keeping the goal in mind be it short term or long term is crucial to success. The purpose could be your first takedown on a tough opponent, finishing a triangle choke, or getting on the podium at a tournament. It might be your first 5k or it might be an ironman PR. It might even be just to feel a little bit better after a workout you didn’t want to do. Whatever it is, pushing with a purpose in mind will always yield better results.

Thanks for joining me on the journey towards Serenity, stay sweaty my friends.