Growth – Serenity Through Sweat

135lb hangover

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. I spent a large portion of the past weekend traveling. While that is pretty normal for my job as a pilot, this was a different kind of travel. A real, planes, trains, and automobiles adventure.

El Duderino, Speedy, my wife, and I all headed out late Thursday evening on a flight to Atlanta. Arriving well after the boys bedtime, we went to a hotel located a short walk from the airport sky train.

After a restless night of sleep for all four of us we were up and at em, picking up the rental car and out of the hotel before 9 AM. We stopped to pick up a U-Haul truck, and then made very carefully timed subsequent stops at both IKEA and Sam’s Club, enroute to our new home in North Carolina.

We had to stop at the realtor’s office to sign closing paperwork after the two and half hour drive. All of this had to be done before 2PM so we could take possession of the house before the county offices closed for the weekend.

Only an optimist can put together a plan like that. There were so many moving pieces. So many variables outside of our control. Somehow, like a rare celestial alignment, everything worked out wonderfully and we spent the weekend in our new home.

On the two and a half hour drive, winding through the mountain roads in a crosswind catching U-Haul box, I heard Bert Kreischer tell Joe Rogan a story that struck a nerve in me.

Bert was telling Joe how he watched one of his wife’s friends, a middle aged woman whose stunning beauty had started to fade, struggle to get a bartenders attention.

The moment Bert described was probably fleeting. He doesn’t say how long she was at the bar, or how long it took her to get the bartender’s attention. But he gives an eloquent and detailed description of her confusion. The puzzled look on her face. Her inability to process why the bartender is not immediately paying attention to her.

He realizes, this is a new experience for her. As a younger head turner, this was never a problem she had to deal with. And, she has yet to come to the realization that she is no longer that person.

Joe Rogan spouts out a quote from Socrates that he is apt to use in similar situations, “beauty is a short lived tyranny”.

The whole thing made me think about my wrestling. I was very successful and adept as a high school wrestler at 135 lbs. And my wrestling base, and instincts, and movements, have served me very well in life and especially in Jiu Jitsu.

But, there is always a big glaring but. My wrestling in Jiu Jitsu, especially with a gi on, bears a striking resemblance to this former beauty at the bar. Misunderstanding my current place in the pecking order. Over reliant on a skill set that has faded. Unable to recognize the need to evolve and adapt.

Running off the bike, getting ready for IM 70.3

I’m not sure why it took me this long to see it. Maybe it was egotistical denial. Maybe there are enough alternatives in Jiu Jitsu where I could hide the deficiency. Maybe I was able to get away with old habits with less skilled opponents.

Either way, the bandaid has been ripped off. I refuse to be the bombshell at the bar, past my prime and confused about how things are changing around me. It’s time to learn again as a beginner. To embrace the potential for growth and get past my 135lb wrestling hangover.

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Spoons and Shovels

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. This week I wanted to talk about the strange relationship I have with efficiency, in fatherhood, fitness, and flying.

I was reminded and inspired for this post by a quote from a Pavel Tsatsouline’s kettlebell book, Simple and Sinister. Pavel’s style of training is to use heavy weights explosively, and do fewer reps for more sets with long breaks in-between.

“Hard style training is also highly effective for fat loss. In a study that compared the energy expenditures in the same exercise performed explosively and non-explosively, the former predictably burned more calories. “The swing is inefficient, which is why it is a great fat burner,” explains Dan John. “The bike is efficient—and fat people can ride it forever.” Yes, you could burn the same calories by doing more reps with less power or less weight…but why? “

“Famous economist Milton Friedman was visiting a construction site in a country with Soviet-influenced economic policies. It was in the 1960s and Friedman was shocked to see only shovels and no mechanized equipment. He asked the government bureaucrat who was giving the tour about it. The latter smugly replied, “You don’t understand. This is a jobs program.” Prof. Friedman smiled, “Oh, I thought you were trying to build a canal. If it’s jobs you want, then you should give these workers spoons, not shovels.”

In many aspect of my life efficiency reigns supreme. I am always looking for the most efficient way to do something. Whether it is a grappling technique, a flight procedure, or just getting the kids out the door.

Aviation procedures after accounting first for safety, are primarily efficiency driven. Small inefficiencies multiplied across thousands of flights a day make a huge difference to a company.

Grappling is all about efficiency in motion. Your ability to generate the maximum amount of force necessitates not wasting energy through inefficient movement. Getting into advantageous positions is often not possible with inefficient or extra movement.

Beauty beyond the buildings in Burlington

In endurance sports, when racing, I’m trying to achieve the best efficiency in terms of speed for power output. The level of efficiency in a pedal stroke, a swimming stroke, or running cadence can be the difference between a personal record, and a really dark and ugly mental slog just to finish.

When training however, I often find myself deliberately seeking inefficiency. Swinging a kettlebell, over-exaggerating grappling movements, practicing a deliberately slower pedal stroke with a higher gear.

These inefficient training methods have a significant impact on strength, and growth in the particular sport or skill.

Fort building with Speedy and El Duderino

The irony is not lost on me that I waffle between maximized efficiency to minimized efficiency. Doing something the most efficient way is seldom the best way to learn.

I’m thinking about this as El Duderino is starting pre school. There are so many things that I do for him, and for myself for that matter, that are driven primarily by efficiency. But is that always the best approach?

El Duderino has been potty trained for a while. My wife was been a rock star with that, starting when he was only 6 months old. But he doesn’t like to wipe his own butt. Efficiency, being the quickest way to get this task done, dictates that I (or my wife) do it for him. The alternative is an existential argument with a four year old. with pants around his ankles, butt up in the air, explaining to us the importance of team work and helping out your family. His argument (especially in context) seems compelling.

At some point he will have to do this himself. It is a question of when, not if. I know that sooner is better than later. But there is a nagging sense of efficiency that rears its head. The desire to complete a simple task and move on to the next, that drives my avoidance of what I know to be my parental responsibility. To help him grow and develop into an independent young man.

It is hard to feel excited about deliberate inefficiency. It is even more painful when that inefficiency can be remedied, but doing so would be detrimental in the long run.

Parenting, along with many other aspects of my life and this blog, can be an exercise in using spoons instead of shovels. At least I’ve got company down in the trenches digging along with me.

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Conflict

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. As my wife and I were settling in to bed last night she asked me if I thought people were capable of peace.

That’s a pretty heavy question right before it’s time to shut down for the day, but fortunately it is something I think about often.

My answer was no. Humans are not designed for peace, but that isn’t inherently a bad thing. At the very essence of our being, we are animals designed to pass on our genetic code. This necessitates behavior patterns which make conflict inevitable.

I think humans in general are fueled by conflict. Most of that conflict is peaceful and beneficial. Conflict between nature or the environment, between oneself, or between a respectful competitor often lead to innovation and progress. In most cases of human conflict the result is growth.

El Duderino with his post Thanksgiving crown

When the net results of human conflict are no longer beneficial, everyone suffers, and this is generally the lack of peace I think we refer to when asking if humans are capable of peace. But the distinction between the two is important.

As is often the case, the devil is in the details. It is up to us to determine when a conflict will result in growth and is worth pursuing, and when it will result in suffering and is worth pacifying.

These are some of the hardest decisions I struggle with as a husband and a father. Am I being obstinate, or jealous, or vengeful in my assessment of this conflict? Is the potential for growth based on my knowledge gained from the situation or from a necessary change in my own behavior?

El Duderino and daddy back in the saddle

Often the conflict itself requires so much of our attention and energy, that it is hard to form those questions in the moment, let alone answer them.

As the Thanksgiving holiday comes to a close, I’m thankful for all of my conflicts. Those I wage against my self and my own shortcomings, those against environmental circumstances, and even those against other “competitors”

This blog has been in large part a place to reflect on my conflict, and to assess and grow from it. I am thankful that I can share it with you, and I hope that you gain as much from reading as I do from analyzing and sharing.

Thanks for joining me, happy Thanksgiving, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

The Toddler Immune System

Cold and flu season is here in full swing, and my family is feeling the effects. Watching my son actively leave the playground so I can help him with is snot bubbles got me thinking about the toddler immune system, and then as my peculiar brain works, training.

I don’t care who you are, snot bubbles are funny, but they do lose some of their humor when your toddler’s mood and ability to listen to you start going down the drain. That said, he has been in good spirits and is soldiering through this iteration of the cold pretty well.

As I watched him play in the sand in between running over to me to wipe his nose on my sleeve (obviously the only place he doesn’t freak out to wipe his nose) I thought about how this is ultimately a good thing for him and will make him stronger.

Babies inherit certain immune protections from their mothers both in utero and through breast milk. After that, they are a relatively blank canvas and they need to build up their immunity through exposure. They are exposed to some sort of ailment, their body learns how to fight it, and then that knowledge and ability stays with them. So, in order to build a strong and robust immune system, they have to be exposed to a lot of things.

Building yourself as an athlete and as a person is really the same idea. You need to be exposed to a lot of different things in order to be strong and robust. This can mean trying new positions or techniques in BJJ or wrestling. Trying new lifts or lift variations when in the gym. Trying new activities that require a different skill set. Maybe you have a background in football and want to try archery. Maybe you have a background in power lifting and want to try yoga. The point is exposure to new activities, just like new germs, provides new opportunity to sure up our weaknesses and promote growth.

As we approach election season, the same idea applies emotionally and intellectually. Honestly and openly exposing yourself to new ideas is the only way to grow as a person. Even if you come out with the same opinion afterwards, you will have grown stronger from the exposure.

So try that new technique, read that new book, talk to that person from the other political party, because ultimately we are all better through exposure.

Thanks for joining me, and stay sweaty my friends.

Yesterday’s serenity through sweat, lift run shoot while El Duderino was down for his nap

Modern Ideas of Self Care

I’m very blessed to have a job with a flexible schedule that makes it easier for me cultivate good self care habits. Getting to the gym, finding ten minutes to meditate, reading material that challenges you intellectually, is all easier if you aren’t pressed for time.

As it does for us all at some point, life catches up and gets in the way. There simply aren’t enough minutes in the day to accomplish everything and some things need to be dropped. The question is what are we dropping, and why are we dropping it?

I’ve always been of the opinion that I’m a better person, father, husband, friend, etc… when I am consistently training (or at least working out, if you read my last post). Physically, mentally, emotionally, I am in a better place and better able to meet the other demands of my life.

If you have the flu and the doctor told you that you needed to rest, no one would look down on that decision. But physical exercise, intellectual growth, spiritual/emotional strengthening activities aren’t afforded the same societal ranking.

For some reason reading a book, or taking time to go to the gym, has become classified as an indulgence. I have to go to work, I have to finish the honey-do list, but I might get to go to the gym if I move fast.

Self care is the most important thing you can do and should be elevated in our thought process from an indulgence, to an essential daily routine.

I challenge all of you to carve out a small chunk of your day for positive self care. It could be ten minutes of meditation. Maybe listening to an audio book instead of the radio. You could use an educational app to learn a language instead of scrolling social media. Maybe it’s a couple of push-ups waiting for your coffee to brew in the morning. Whatever it is, make the time to invest in yourself.

It isn’t always easy and sometimes life gets in the way, but changing our perception of self care will be one step closer to Serenity Through Sweat.

Thanks for joining me, and stay sweaty my friends.