human interaction – Serenity Through Sweat

Conflict

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. As my wife and I were settling in to bed last night she asked me if I thought people were capable of peace.

That’s a pretty heavy question right before it’s time to shut down for the day, but fortunately it is something I think about often.

My answer was no. Humans are not designed for peace, but that isn’t inherently a bad thing. At the very essence of our being, we are animals designed to pass on our genetic code. This necessitates behavior patterns which make conflict inevitable.

I think humans in general are fueled by conflict. Most of that conflict is peaceful and beneficial. Conflict between nature or the environment, between oneself, or between a respectful competitor often lead to innovation and progress. In most cases of human conflict the result is growth.

El Duderino with his post Thanksgiving crown

When the net results of human conflict are no longer beneficial, everyone suffers, and this is generally the lack of peace I think we refer to when asking if humans are capable of peace. But the distinction between the two is important.

As is often the case, the devil is in the details. It is up to us to determine when a conflict will result in growth and is worth pursuing, and when it will result in suffering and is worth pacifying.

These are some of the hardest decisions I struggle with as a husband and a father. Am I being obstinate, or jealous, or vengeful in my assessment of this conflict? Is the potential for growth based on my knowledge gained from the situation or from a necessary change in my own behavior?

El Duderino and daddy back in the saddle

Often the conflict itself requires so much of our attention and energy, that it is hard to form those questions in the moment, let alone answer them.

As the Thanksgiving holiday comes to a close, I’m thankful for all of my conflicts. Those I wage against my self and my own shortcomings, those against environmental circumstances, and even those against other “competitors”

This blog has been in large part a place to reflect on my conflict, and to assess and grow from it. I am thankful that I can share it with you, and I hope that you gain as much from reading as I do from analyzing and sharing.

Thanks for joining me, happy Thanksgiving, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Demons

Happy Halloween! Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. I’m writing this after a nice 10 mile sunrise run while enjoying my first beer in a month. Halloween, sober October, and my post run afterglow have me thinking about demons.

Cheers to the final workout and Sober October celebration

This October I abstained from alcohol and sugar as well as completed the 10,000 kettlebell swing challenge. This proved to be a interesting combination in regards to how I typically quell my inner demons.

I am very fortunate to lead a life where most if not all of my demons are personal and internal. I’m not struggling to eat or find shelter, my family and I are healthy and secure. Most of my demons are the result of my own weaknesses; insecurity, jealousy, self doubt, self pity. SerenityThroughSweat is in large part, my journey of exorcising demons through exercise.

My personal weaknesses often lead to the creation of mountains out of molehills in otherwise benign human interactions. These have only been amplified by reduced social contact and the other stresses that come with Covid.

For me, alcohol often becomes a crutch to either dull, avoid, or replace addressing those personal inadequacies and interactions. Some demons are more or less benign and good to let go of, in college I was fond of the phrase ” nothing a shower beer can’t fix”. Others are more insidious, especially when left to fester when covered up with alcohol.

another sunrise smoke on the Z grill, brisket pork butt sweet potatoes broccoli and corn

Physical exertion and later on formal exercise has always been a tool I’ve used to exorcise those same personal demons. I remember one particular instance when I was probably around 10 years old. I have no recollection of what I was mad at my step brother about, but I remember that my solution was putting on my snow gear, and marching circles in the snow around the cabin we were staying in for hours.

I’m not advocating for exercise as an alternative to dealing with your problems. Rather, literally running from them (and then back) can be a means to clear your head and face them with a fresh perspective.

This month’s challenge was particularly interesting because neither of those options were available. Without alcohol those small things that I would otherwise shirk off with a beer at the end of the night were nagging until they were attended to. The kettlebell swing workouts, despite their intensity and benefits, coming in most days at just over 30 minutes failed to squash my more stubborn personal demons the way endurance cardio sessions have.

I didn’t realize how much I had been holding on to until finishing my run and then later sitting down to write with a beer (and a doughnut). This month was less a challenge of abstaining and swinging, and more a challenge of managing stress without my favorite tools. I have never lacked for discipline and perseverance in the face of a challenge, but I struggle constantly with my inherent character flaws.

15 in the final cluster on the way to 10,000

Sweating, in all of its various forms, and then being able to analyze and share my thoughts has been and continues to be extremely therapeutic. This platform has been a tool I can use to hold myself accountable and exorcise my demons, and for that I’m a grateful to you my reader. I’m also very happy to be done with Sober October and the 10,000 kettlebell swing challenge, so that I have my full arsenal of tools available to exorcise my demons.

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Dystopian Shopping

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. There is a lot of craziness going on in the world today and obviously there are lots of different ways to approach it. Trying to find the silver lining, I have had a lot more time for acts of self betterment, parenting, reading, drawing, exercise, mobility work… The list goes on.

I recently finished Altered Carbon a 2002 book by Richard Morgan that was recently turned into a Netflix special. In a dystopian future where human consciousness is recorded and transferrable between bodies, death has less to do with your physical entity and more to do with your downloadable content. In the book I found a wonderfully telling passage that made me think about some of our current struggle with COVID-19.

The man character Takeshi Kovacs, is on his way to go shopping for some new clothes and weaponry for his job as a private investigator. He has a flashback to a life he lived over a hundred years ago in a different body (I know that sounds weird, but the point of the book is downloading human consciousness into different bodies) and a discussion about shopping. To paraphrase, he used to think shopping was a mundane activity of necessity. You need something, you go to a place to procure it and the transaction is complete. His memory of the conversation that changes his mind is then brought forth.

His friend from a former life explains that we have the technology to doorstep deliver everything we need, but shopping as a physical activity, has never been phased out of human culture. Despite having the technology to remove it altogether, society has subconsciously decided that shopping is a physical activity that satiates a human desire for accumulation and interaction. It is a part of our culture and wired into us like DNA.

A captain I flew with once proudly told me he refused to pay for a cup of coffee at a hotel when they told him it cost $5 for just a black coffee. I told him I agree that $5 for a cup of black coffee is expensive but I don’t mind paying for a story. Tell me about the farmer who grew the beans and where they were grown. Tell me about the buyer who traveled there and bought them and roasted them. Tell me about the barista who stocked them and the method used to brew them. If the answer is Folgers from the grocery store, then probably not a good value for $5. (Sorry to pick on Folgers, no hard feelings) But, if there is a story and multiple human interactions involved, now we are filling in some human needs, and I can appreciate where my money is going.

I think this is an insidious part of the challenge that we are currently facing. Even if you have some financial stability, and you have a few days worth of supplies in your home, there is still a longing for human interaction outside of the dwelling that no amount of Netflix or virtual museum tour will satiate. The act of shopping, strolling through a farmers market, perusing the produce aisle, or simply trying to decide on dinner, are all cultural behaviors that have been ripped away suddenly like an old band-aid.

As we struggle to embrace the changes to our everyday routines, technology like home delivery and curbside pickup are powerful tools. But it is also important to remember what we want to get back to, which is that most basic of human interactions. I hope that we can all maintain some modicum of serenity, until that time.

Thanks for joining me and stay sweaty my friends.

This week in social distancing has changed my normal workout pattern, but I was able to spend some more time on two wheels than I otherwise would have. One ride with El Duderino where we saw an alligator which he now needs to hear the story of every night before bed. And the other was some much needed time with Layla, my Tri bike.