Jui Jitsu – Serenity Through Sweat

The Martian

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. I have not been writing nearly as much as I would like to lately. Life has a tendency to get in the way.

This time of year with holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, and the extra curveball life always has in store, often leaves me feeling overwhelmed.

There are some aspects of my life, compartmentalized away, where I am very disciplined. Others however, to include writing, have yet to become a permanant fixture, I find that I am wont to revert back to less engaging activities when i ought to be writing instead.

So it was, that I found myself watching Interstellar for the first time on a long deadhead flight from LAX to ATL. I found the fatherly dynamic of the movie extremely touching. The contrast in Matt Damon’s characters from the Martian to Interstellar, is a great comparison of the spectrum of human problem response.

No spoilers here, even though both movies have been out for quite a while, but Mark Whatney (Matt Damon in the Martian) meets his problems head on, whereas his Interstellar counterpart (Dr. Mann) has a much more defeatist attitude.

Being stranded on Mars with not enough food or supplies, and little hope of rescue is obviously a very dire situation. Much more serious than nearly everything we experience in our daily lives. Yet our brain has a hard time recognizing scale and amplitude without context.

The worst thing that has ever happened to you is the worst thing that has ever happened to you. Whether that is being marooned on an alien planet, or if you spilled coffee on your new shirt. The brain makes assessments on past experiences, not on absolute spectrums.

Fostering an environment of controlled and risk minimal discomfort, can help us recognize where unexpected problems actually fall on that spectrum. It can also help us remain calm and analytical while assessing those problems.

Aviation, parenting, and Jui jitsu all fall into these categories. Maybe that is why I like them so much.

They all present complex.problwms that need to be solved. Some of them may seem overwhelming, or too big to take on. Sometimes it isn’t the size of the problem, but the long list of small problems that never seems to shrink.

Like our space pirate friend said, you get to work. You solve one problem and then the next. If you solve enough problems, you get to go home.

There are a lot of similarities to this philosophy in the aviation world. We have a systematic approach to analyzing our situation, and then working through problems as the arise until reaching a logical conclusion.

These past few weeks, I have summoned my inner Mark Watney more than a few times. You have a plan for how the day is going to go, and it starts going sideways. It is easy to be overwhelmed by the growing tower of problems that need to be solved, tasks that need to be accomplished.

Or you can get to work, one problem at a time. And if you solve enough problems, complete enough tasks, you get to go home.

Jui Jitsu is at its core problem solving. You give your opponent a problem. Theh responds and give you a problem right back. Whoever is unable to solve the problem and respond ends up submitting. Problem solving, with potentially deadly consequences, but in a controlled and risk mitigated environment.

Sometimes, you don’t have the solution readily available. You may have some ideas, theories, guesses, about how to tackle the situation. That leaves you with an uncertain outcome.

That’s where the science comes in. You make a hypothesis. You test it. You gather the information. You analyze the data. Rinse and repeat.

This way of thinking. This way of approaching life’s problems has compounded over generations to change the way we live our lives.

Even if you don’t work in the “sciences,” you can easily see how this philosophy plays out on the mats, or with your kids.

Control the variables you can, make a hypothesis, test it. Collect the data, and go back and try it again. Maybe you break the cycle of submitting (on the mats or with the kids, I still tap early and often.)

If you science the shit out of it, and solve enough problems, you get to go home, where you will likely find some serenity.

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Empathy

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. After a busy week on vacation we are back and better than ever, with an interesting take on empathy.

The following article was posted on Sunday’s with Sisson, and was an incredibly compelling read. The cliff notes version is that consumption of physical painkillers (acetaminophen was used in the experiment testing) blunt not only our own pain, but also our neurochemical pathways for empathy for the pain of another.

That’s a pretty heavy scientific finding, and as the author’s put it, “Because empathy regulates prosocial and antisocial behavior, these drug-induced reductions in empathy raise concerns about the broader social side effects of acetaminophen, which is taken by almost a quarter of adults in the United States each week.”

I’m going to take a somewhat anti NSAID (non steroidal anti inflammatory drug) position in this post, but I want to clarify that these products have their important uses and have both improved and saved lives.

Acetaminophen as a fever reducer, especially for infants is a godsend. Pain management is a critical component to successful outcomes in many surgical, medical, and rehabilitation environments.

That being said, it is easy to misuse and abuse. That is coming from a guilty party, who spent the better part of my wrestling career eating Tylenol, Advil, and Aleve like a unsupervised child in a candy store.

Speedy’s first flight and a beautiful day at the beach

I remember a conversation I had with my wife after first starting jui jitsu, that despite being very similar to wrestling, my mindset was so much different in my practice of the gentle art. I remember telling her how I used to run through training partners in the wrestling room. In the pursuit of my own competitive goals, I pushed some of my teammates beyond their athletic comfort level, sometimes into over exertion and injury. There wasn’t any room for feelings or slowing down to teach them, it was all about me.

Contrast that with my practice of Jui Jitsu where I spend a lot of time explaining to someone how a position or scenario unfolded, and what they could have done differently, or posing those same questions to my brothers and sisters on the mat with a reasonable expectation that they will be answered. I start each round asking my training partners about their level of preparedness prior to each roll, how they are feeling, positions that they want to work on or avoid based on injury or weakness.

There is a gentleman’s agreement amongst almost all Jui Jitsu practitioners, that even if someone is too stubborn to tap out, it is your responsibility to your training partners to maintain their safety, especially above and beyond any of your own training goals. This same concept applies to an extent in wrestling, (you are responsible for safely returning an opponent to the mat when you forcefully remove them from it). But, because of the differences in rule sets, wrestling can largely be about moving someone where they don’t want to go, rather than systematically attacking from the changing positions you find yourself in, in Jiu Jitsu.

Some may say that wrestling is inherently more of a tough, grinding, grappling sport, when compared to the flow of jui jitsu, and they may be right. It can also be said that even my own stunted emotional maturity in my thirties is still light-years beyond that of my late teens. I would say however, that there is a significant difference in my self medication habits between the two periods of similar grappling activity, and I’m wondering how much of a impact this has had on my empathy, and thus my social engagement.

Beyond sport, there is nothing quite like being a parent to enhance and clarify your sense of empathy. There is something about carrying a kicking and screaming child that enables that neural pathway to empathize with all the other parents who have gone down the path before.

And if it takes a village to raise a child, as they say, sharing in the emotional well-being of said villiage is in the best interest of all the parents.

As I chased a screaming El Duderino around the Southern tier brewery’s outdoor seating area, and tried to keep him from terrorizing his little brother as well as the other patrons, I was pleasantly surprised to get a fist bump from a fellow father saying “dad, you’re doing great”.

This man’s empathy put a smile on my face and gave me the extra boost I needed to maintain some modicum of serenity throughout the rest of the afternoon.

So where NSAIDs may well blunt some of our more important social niceties along with some pain, it turns out sunshine and craft beer might just help replace them. (Trust the science)

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Control

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. This week I want to revisit another Dune quote that I was thinking about while wrangling my raging toddler.

I’ve spent the majority of my life in the practice of controlling and manipulating other people’s bodies. Wrestling and jui jitsu, at their core, are martial arts of control.

The rule sets are somewhat different, which alters the strategies, reactions, and the way that engagement with an opponent plays out. But, both are incredibly similar in the objective of controlling and manipulating your opponent into a certain positions or techniques.

With jui jitsu especially, I’m reminded of another Frank Herbert Dune quote. “He who can destroy a thing, has true control over it”

In the context of the book, Herbert is talking about a natural resource, and that the ability to destroy it, but also the ability to be without it after it is destroyed, is the true measure of control.

In jui jitsu, the goal to submit your opponent often manifests as true control of a joint. Armbars, shoulder locks, and chokes, are all a form of control over another person’s body, with the ability to destroy that particular part.

Jui jitsu is self described as the “gentle art”, because despite the ability to destroy another person’s joint being the main focus, it can be practiced (if done correctly) at full intensity, without fear of injury. The same thing is hard to say for other martial arts especially ones with striking.

While Herbert’s definition of control is incredibly accurate and very fitting for grappling arts, I would submit that it is overlooking a different element of control that is equally as important

The last two weeks Speedy and El Duderino have transitioned back into daycare. They visit a small in home facility with a provider that takes wonderful care of them. Speedy has been happy as a Clam, but El Duderino, being older and having spent the past year home with us, is struggling to adjust.

This has brought on many of the inconsolable temper tantrums that “allegedly” were frequent in my younger years. I find myself now on the other side of the equation, and trying to exert over it a modicum of control.

I find it interestingly ironic that a toddler having a temper tantrum can be accurately described as both out of control, and self destructing. If the ability to control a thing is based on the ability to destroy, one if our definitions needs a reworking

Once again I find myself manipulating and controlling bodies, this time a raging toddler instead of a fellow grappler. With that change comes a different meaning of control.

The most difficult opponents to grapple are those that respond and react in unpredictable ways. That sums up the movements of a temper tantrum pretty well. Once it escalates to a level where my 40+ lb tasmanian devil could hurt himself, his little brother, or start breaking things, I step in with the attempt to control.

With just shy of 30 years of grappling experience, it isn’t hard to keep him in positions where the risk of injury or property damage is almost non existent, regardless of his erratic movement. Just like the gentle art he can be at full intensity and I’m not worried about hurting him. But unlike the gentle art, I’m not looking to destroy anything (except maybe his current mood)

This type of control has, as it’s foundational definition, compassion and preservation rather than destruction. When I’m truly in control of him I’m no longer worried about him hurting himself or somebody else. Just like a wrestler who lifts his opponent off the mat is responsible for his safe return, this level of control is focused solely on the safety of the other.

I would argue that while being able to destroy a thing is indeed control over it, being able to prevent it’s destruction requires just as much, if not more control.

I’ve always been grateful for the many gifts that grappling has given back to me over the years. This new level of control is just one more blessing, and one I look forward to sharing with my boys (once they no longer require me to practice it on them of course)

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Running, cycling, and heavy bag with a predatory audience

If you drop the cake…

Happy New year, and thanks for stopping in to Serenity through Sweat. I hope 2020 finds you all in good health, happy disposition and appropriately sweaty.

I was training Jiu Jitsu with the owner of my gym the other day and he said something that has stuck with me well beyond our roll

Brad is a business owner, a black belt masters world champion, an incredibly gifted athlete frequently training with people half his age, and he likes to talk. It’s not uncommon for our training rolls to be 60% rolling 40% talking. And most of it is pleasantries or whatever the topic of the day is, but this particular comment has me thinking about its value beyond a grappling context.

Brad had asked our new head instructor Alec (new to our school and fresh off an ADCC competition) about how to escape a position and Alec replied (I’m paraphrasing) “sometimes if you drop the cake you don’t get to just pick it back up, you have to go back to the kitchen and make a new one”

From a grappling context I totally understood the idea. The best defense for some positions is to never be put there to begin with. We need to learn to sense the danger in positions before it is too late, and if we don’t, then you tap, reset, and try to learn for the next time. But what about outside Jiu Jitsu?

How many times in my personal or work relationships have I “dropped the cake”? And then my initial reaction is that everything is fine, I’ll just pick up the cake off the floor. I know when I screw up, especially if I’ve hurt someone I care about, I want to fix it ASAP. But the cake is on the floor and baking a new one takes time and effort, (plus I’m not a great baker so probably some more practice)

On the same note, if someone I love “drops the cake” am I giving them the opportunity to go back and make a new one, or am I kicking them out of the kitchen?

With the arrival of the new year the majority of us probably have some resolutions to better ourselves, improve our relationships, etc… How are we going to respond when we inevitably drop the cake on one of our new resolutions?

Forgiveness is a tough ask and a two way street. Whether you are forgiving a friend or co-worker, or even forgiving yourself, or you are asking for forgiveness, at some point we all drop the cake. Finding serenity is a much easier journey if we can learn to forgive ourselves and others, (and stay out of any leg reaps).

Thanks for joining me, and stay sweaty my friends.