Layover – Page 2 – Serenity Through Sweat

Durability

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. While this blog tends to wander with my mind and interests, it had at its heart the foundation of rigorous physical movement as a part of the path towards enlightenment and some sort of inner peace.

With that in mind, i wanted to talk about the concept that was presented on one of my last zwift workouts. Durability.

Zwift is the virtual cycling platform I use to train. They have curated a very extensive library of training plans and workouts, developed by professional coaches and athletes across multiple cycling and and endurance disciplines.

Each of these curated workouts has some text pop ups periodically throughout the workout. They range from small coaching tips and motivational messages, to full scientific explanations of the training methodology. The latter normally coming in the warmup phase when you aren’t focused on sucking air and trying not to embarrassingly fall off a fixed bike trainer.

As I was spinning my legs, warming up, and getting into the right headspace for a more focused training session, I wasn’t really ready for the very scientific and research based information that was being displayed in fading text bubbles.

The words passed along the screen, and I had enough otherwise unoccupied attention to realize they were important and interesting. I immediately pulled out my phone to search for the fragments of the explanation I could remember.

I found the following research paper, which was obviously the one the coach and designer of the workout was referring to, since he quoted the definition of durability verbatim.

“Therefore, applied exercise physiologists working with endurance athletes would benefit from development of physiological-profiling models that account for shifts in physiological-profiling variables during prolonged exercise and quantify the ‘durability’ of individual athletes, defined as, “the time of onset, and magnitude of deterioration, in physiological-profiling characteristics over time, during prolonged exercise.”

The team from Auckland University argues that much of the information that goes into training plan design and race pacing strategy is based on variables that are measured in a static, and usually rested, environment. Those variables of course change and degrade with time and effort. The time of onset and magnitude of deterioration is important to understand for each athlete in maximizing performance.

The workouts seek to measure or at least help you understand these characteristics in yourself by putting you into a state of fatigue, and then having some sort of repeatable assessment .

A cycling example would be a five minute time trial at the end of designed one hour workout. A running example could use an all out one mile time after a similarly structured one hour workout.

5 min time trial after a deliberately fatiguing effort

How long into a prolonged effort does your performance start to deteriorating? What is the magnitude of that deterioration? Is it linear? Does it change drastically with different perceived levels of exertion? Just how durable are you?

These are important questions. Regardless of your status as an endurance athlete, or an athlete at all. How durable are you mentally? Emotionally?

I can certainly think of more than a few instances with my boys where the ‘time of onset and magnitude of deterioration’ in my emotional profiling characteristics would not be considered durable.

As a triathlete this research fascinates me. I also directly benefit from it since coaches are reading it and using it to design workouts I have access to. I also think the ability to say ‘here defined as’ is magical.

The research team is able to specify the niche in which they wish to work. The set the definitions. They remove the potential for misconception as well as focus the readers attention in the desired direction.

Of course my mind takes the concept and wanders with it. Applying it to fatherhood, to my marriage, to research and writing projects after a long run. All of that is still within the confines of their definition. Here defined as.

The coaches and exercise physiologists can develop workouts and training plans that improve durability. Increase the time to onset. Reduce the magnitude of deterioration. Maybe even a little of each.

Who wouldn’t like to be a little more physically durable? Who wouldn’t like to be a little more mentally or emotionally durable? I think there is plenty of room for crossover between the two.

I’m by no means suggesting you deliberately exhaust yourself prior to handling a temper tantrum. But the next time it happens, as a parent and an athlete it is a matter of when not if, see it as an opportunity to become more durable.

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Camaraderie

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. This week I’m musing on our social interactions, and sometimes the lack thereof.

The last few years has seen a lot of change in the way people socialize and engage with each other. Distancing, masking, video calls, all of them remove some of what it is to be together.

It is easy to feel lonely in this profession. Lots of time away from home. A rotation of coworkers you may not even see again. Strangers with the same occupation, in some cases, is a better description.

I find beauty and purpose in what I do, and the opportunities that it affords me. But, that loneliness is one of the burdons. Always finding it’s way into your checked baggage.

This past week hurricane Ian came through the Florida peninsula. In a major shift from the early days of COVID, this was a time to rally around family instead of distance from it.

It was also a time of checking on friends and neighbors. Some that I hadn’t heard from in a while. Some that I had been meaning to reach out to but hadn’t found the time. Or whatever combination of excuse and apathy leads to old friends fading away.

Regardless phones were dialed and conversations were had. Conversations that lasted well into the night. Reviving that essential part of us that yearns for connection. That yearns for camaraderie.

The time with family. The time with friends, was good for my soul. But, it was a different scene that had me thinking about camaraderie.

Dropping off El Duderino to school and Speedy to daycare when I am home is a great privilege. I recognize there are lots of parents who must choose between time with their kids or providing for them. I’m blessed to draw balance in that regard. It is however, a bit like herding cats.

Both boys are on totally different sleep schedules. Speedy will be up most morning around 5:30. El Duderino often needs to be woken up around 7:30 so he has time to scarf something before going to VPK.

Boys day out to spooky Crayola and Waffle House

The second mommy leaves for work, she magically becomes the only one capable of solving problems. Our motley crew of misguided testosterone makes it out the door most mornings in a disheveled whirlwind of whining and pleading, with nary a minute to spare. (Despite two thirds of us already being up for two and half hours prior)

This past week after dropping off Speedy and circling back to El Duderino’s pre school, we made it to the curb in from of the drop off line right at the buzzer. The rest of the class was lined up and the teachers seemed impatient, waiting on those of us subpar parents utilizing every one of the 15 minutes in window for drop off.

El Duderino got out of the car noncommittally. I gave him a hug and put his back pack around his shoulders. The bag is far too big for him. The fact that it is nearly empty, and off balanced by the metal juice bottle on the side, only adds to the eccentricity of his saunter the 29 yards from my car, through the fence, and into the back of the line.

A beautiful day in Tucson, running the Arizona Wildcats’ stadium

Just as he passed the fence line two of his classmates broke rank. I could hear them calling his name as they ran to embrace him. Two more joined in the group hug before it was done.

El Duderino seemed very nonchalant about the entire episode. It is hard to tell his reaction because he was facing away from me. But he seemed to treat it as a normal occurrence. For me it was all I could to to keep it together watching through the windshield.

Such unbridled joy and excitement. Spectacular social connection for a boy who (somewhat like his father) has a tendency towards being a loner. It was a welcome reminder of the power of camaraderie.

Zwift Academy, getting faster and stronger

One I’m fortunate my son was able to show me, even though he has no idea.

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Delimitation

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. Continuing to work my way through linguistic research I came across the following entry from General Course in Linguistics by Ferdinand Sassure.

“A linguistic entity is not ultimately defined until it is delimited, i.e. separated from whatever there may be on either side of it in a sequence of sounds. It is these delimited entities or units which contrast with one another in the mechanism of language”

At the same time I was reading this passage I was listening to the Huberman Lab podcast with movement and mobility master, Ido Portal. When Ido spoke about movement he intentionally didn’t define it or delimit it.

You can find the full conversation on the Huberman Lab podcast, but I’ll paraphrase his message. “A fluid is delimited by it’s container but that is not the entirety of it’s being. So it is with movement”

Ido also said it was his goal to not answer any of Professor Huberman questions because words are incomplete and delimiting entities.

I was struck the the diametric opposition of these two points. It is obviously a philosophical thought experiment. One that may not have an entirely productive outcome. But, I found it fun to engage in none the less.

On the one hand, a linguistic unit (not always as simple in academic terms but for our purposes today: a word) only has meaning by it’s delimitation from all other words. On the other hand, an idea, being delimited by a word will often fail to capture the entirety of it’s essence or being.

Words are our most effective tool to express ideas. But words are an imperfect tool. Both Sassure and Portal approach the same point, that words are primarily negatively defined entities, from different angles.

That means that words are defined more so by what they aren’t, than what they are. It is easier to define a difficult word by pointing out how it is unlike other words than what it actual is itself.

Think about a word like morose: “having a gloomy or sad disposition”. But feeling morose isn’t gloomy, or sad, or upset, or depressed. If it were, those words would do, and there would be no need for morose. The same could be said of ecstatic. Happy, joyful, glad, excited… All of these words are close but not exact. We define our some of our most important words negatively, by how they are unlike other “known” quantities.

I think that is why there is such beauty in art. Whether it is the written word, music, or some form of visual expression or story telling. We appreciate the exquisite exchange of ideas.

With an inherent knowledge that words are imperfect, and negatively defined, we are captivated when the right combination of words transcends those boundaries. When a passage speaks to us in a way that isn’t delimited by it’s container. When we feel that we truly understand it’s essence.

Maybe it was your favorite song. A poem that spoke to you. A passage by your favorite author. We all have some array of words which has deeply touched us and conferred meaning beyond the sun of their parts.

Riding through a zwift academy workout this morning “The Light” by Common came on. The rapper’s take on complex topics accompanied by captivating beats, is rivaled only by his longevity in the industry. The song is a dive into relationship communication and one line stuck with me as I struggled to breath through the above FTP effort.

“I never call you my b*tch or even my boo, there’s so much in a name, and so much more in you.”

Words are incredible tools. Occasionally we can string them together in a way that is transcendent. For the rest of the time there is beauty in the struggle to define essence with imperfect tools.

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Summer

What is a summer day made of? The dog days of summer are here. My wife is back in the classroom as a teacher for the first time since the pandemic emerged. El Duderino, my little linguistic four year old has started VPK at the school at the end of our neighborhood. I spend my mornings at home corralling him and Speedy, getting them to their respective school and daycare on time so my wife can have a sembelance of normalcy in the morning at least part of the time. When im working all of those duties fall to her.

Speedy generally gets dropped off first at a small in home daycare. “GiGi” has been as much a part of the boys life as I have. During particularly busy periods, maybe more so than me. Then it’s El Duderino’s turn. The elementary school sits at the end of our neighborhood. Maybe a half a mile following the sidewalks as they twist around gator filled retention ponds, and wind their way through suburbia. El Duderino rolls ahead of me on an aqua marine three wheel scooter with light up wheels. He is becoming skilled enough that I can’t keep up with him at just a walk anymore. Wearing sandals is no longer an option. I need closed toed shoes and a gait somewhere between a prance and a jog to keep up. Awkward enough to get second looks from the seniors and moms power walking at 8 am. But, I’m sure endearing none the less. Seeing an obviously uncaffeinated and disheveled father chasing his son down the street. Dinosaur backpack and spider man lunchbox in hand, so he can focus on the scooter.

About half way to the school he pauses to tell me this trip is annoying. I’m not sure our personal ideas of annoying line up, but I think I can empathize. The dog days of summer in Orlando mean that even this 8am short scoot to school is already sweltering in the upper 80’s. The air is sticky, and clings to you in an oppressive way. Like you owe it a favor and it is here to collect. It wont take no for an answer.

When I first started college in Melbourne Fl, around the same time of year, in the dog days of summer of 2005, I remember those same feelings. The excitement and anticipation of new adventures and opportunities. The social anxiety of a new places and new people. The growing laundry hamper as I would change my clothes after every single class. The walk from my dorm to any class and back, regardless of the time of day would leave me soaked, sweat stained, and contemplating my educational choices. I think I called my mom at some point and told her that I wasn’t sure I was up to this. I’m no stranger to sweating, but normally it is in athletic wear and a setting more of my choosing.

This morning was quite different. The dog days of summer in Burlington VT remind me of what a summer day is made of. In Fl we have it everyday, it isn’t special, because it is the norm, rather than the exception. I have grown to really like this layover, seeing it in both the depths of winter as well as the picturesque day I have enjoyed today.

The sky over Lake Champlain is that faded gray blue of optimism. Not the story book blue that looks so bold and perfect to be cartoonish. The faded and more realistic duller version. The one that inspires adventure because it is lacking in that crisp perfection. There is still room to grow. The breeze blows gently. Just enough to flitter the leaves along the running path and keep the mid sixties air from feeling stagnant. The lake and the mountains silently battling for your attention in the naturally beautiful background.

After my admittedly optimistic and subsequently failed attempt to get out and run a half marathon this morning despite not running in close to a month, I strolled down the street to my favorite local breakfast place here. I have written about it before and will do so again. Handy’s lunch is the Cheers of local dining establishments. I think I have eaten there three times, every time ordering the Chuck Norris breakfast sandwich and a cup of coffee. The owner came over this time shook my hand, and thanked me for visiting again and for our last conversation when I visited a few months ago. Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name. It doesn’t hurt that it is one of the best breakfast sandwiches I’ve ever had and I’ve accrued a serious calorie deficit either.

While sitting at the counter watching him interact with the other local, mostly regular customers. One of the men says he grew up in Buffalo. It turns out he is only a few years older than me. He probably played high school football with my step brother. We talked about growing up there and how the city has changed. We talked about high school glory days over carb laden breakfast delicacies.

What is a summer day made of? Optimism, adventure, nature, camaraderie and celebration, in my case obviously some heavy sweating. All of them important and impactful. All of them fleeting.

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Value

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. While continuing research for my linguistics project I found this interesting philosophical quote on value.

Values always involve:

(1) something dissimilar which can be exchanged for the item whose value is under consideration.

(2) similar things which can be compared with the item whose value is under consideration.

An easy example would be the value of a five dollar bill. With a five dollar bill you can buy a gallon of gas (maybe), and you could also get five one dollar bills, or a number of euros, based on a value exchange rate. The value consideration of the five dollar bill is based on both similar and dissimilar items.

Currency of any kind is an easy example because it comes in denominations that are easily changed. A less concrete (or more concrete depending on where you live) example would be a home.

The home would be priced in the local currency, but would also have it’s value partially determined by comparable homes in the area. Homes with similar features, amenities, square footage etc.

The brave and powerful cow knights of the order of Chick-fil-A

With dollars, the value determination from the similar category is really the same, where as with the home, the determination based on the similar category is only comparable. The difference may seem minute but it is important.

The examples given are tangible, but the discussion quoted was about linguistics, and specifically, linguistic units.

Whether you want to break down individual words, syllables, or individual signs (signs, has a very specific and nerdy linguistic definition, that we might get into at a later date) each has a value based on the two criteria above.

“A word can be substituted for something dissimilar: an idea. At the same time, it can be compared to something of like nature:another word. It’s value therefore is not determined merely by that concept or meaning for which it is a token” (Sassure, Course in General Linguistics)

Sassure then goes on to cite the value of the word mouton in French as compared with the word sheep in English. While the meaning is generally the same (a four legged wooly animal that Mary had as a pet) the value in each language is different.

In French mouton can be used to mean both the animal as well as the cooked meat. In English the animal is referred to as a sheep and the meat is mutton. So the value of the word in each language is different.

Giving speeches in his undies, and making friends with dragonflies

The difference in value is due to the presence, or absence of other similar items. It’s value is determined in part by how much it can be delimited from other elements in the same system.

The subtly of similar and comparable, and the variance between value determination in similar and dissimilar categories together form a complex process for effectively determining value.

This is something we do almost instinctively on a very regular basis. Something is on sale. Something looks like a good deal. Something is overpriced. As a consumer driven nation this is a process we engage in regularly.

But what about value determination for items without price? How you choose to allocate your free time? Things like opportunity cost. What value do you derive from your choices? How is that value determined.

This is mental exercise I engage in frequently. Comparing the money saved and the pride of completing a home improvement project yourself, against the time taken that could be spent doing other things with family or friends, the frustration that inevitably comes with these projects, and the workmanship that despite my best efforts will not be the same quality as a professional.

Each option has its own value. Delimited by what it can provide, and what it can exclude. A constant reexamination and assessment of value is important to properly align priorities. It is also a step toward serenity.

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Methods

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. This week I heard an interesting anecdote that I thought was important enough to share and discuss.

Before we get to the story, the backdrop is important. It involves something I have been practicing for the better part of three years now. Intermittent fasting (IF) or time restricted feeding (TRF).

The terms are used somewhat interchangeably in diet/health and wellness culture, but they are quite different when examining the scientific literature.

In the scientific literature (peer reviewed journal articles and studies) intermittent fasting refers to days with severely reduced or no calorie intake. For example eating normally for five days and severely restricting or entirely eliminating calories for two days.

Time restricted feeding on the other hand, refers to eating all of your calories for the day within a restricted feeding window. The most common of which is an eight hour feeding window and a sixteen hour fasting period.

This article provides a meta-analysis of the literature on intermittent fasting and time restricted feeding. That is a fancy way of saying that the authors read all the studies that have been done in the area. Evaluated their methodology, data, and interpretation. Then, decided on which studies to include.

They are not conducting the studies, but rather analyzing all of the studies together for a 20,000′ view of the landscape.

In both animal models and human trials, IF and TRF both show incredibly promising results. Decreased body weight, improved cholesterol numbers, reduced glucose, insulin, and increased insulin sensitivity, and improved inflammatory markers.

Several different studies that included feeding windows varying between four hours and twelve hours where reviewed and analyzed. The evidence on the benefits of intermittent fasting and time restricted feeding are very difficult to dispute.

By far the most popular in the health and wellness community is the right hour feeding window. This is what I (generally) practice, and it has become a dogma for some. With the results of peer reviewed science just mentioned it is easy to see why.

What I find fascinating though, is the anecdote shared by Dr Huberman on the Huberman labs podcast.

One of the earliest studies in the space, that produced the results that led to so many other follow on studies, used an eight hour feeding window. This was chosen not because of a scientific hypothesis, or even an educated guess of a reason. The eight hour window was chosen because the graduate student who was conducting the research was in a relationship.

The graduate student’s significant other made it clear that they would not be allowed to live in the lab, and had to spend some time at home. So an eight hour window, plus some set up, cleanup, and reporting time, struck this balance.

As I have noted, the meta analysis reviewed for this post covered varying TRF windows ranging from four to twelve hours. But, one of the most pivotal early studies in the space, one that the health and wellness community has certainly gravitated toward, had it’s methodology set around a college romance.

This in no way hindered the science, but it begs the question, is that the best way? The data are compelling, but what if the baseline was established at six hours? Four hours? Ten hours?

A decision was made (one I totally understand as someone who spends lots of time working away from home) to make the baseline eight hours.

I read the meta analysis, listened to scientific podcasts explaining them, and decided it was a good idea for me to try. To do my own scientific experiment with how I respond to TRF. I felt the data was compelling enough to merit individual exploration.

There has been a lot of talk in the last few years about trusting the science. The data doesn’t lie. But, the methodology is important. Asking questions, evaluating, and exploring help pave the way to better understanding, and ultimately serenity.

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Laps in the pool and first time on the heavy bag in a long time.

Tactics

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. This is one of my favorite (and incidentally my wife’s least favorite) time of the year. It’s tour season.

The Tour de France that is. The grand daddy of classic bike races that spans 21 days of self inflicted punishment across the natural beauty of the French countryside.

There is a special place in my heart for endurance athletes, fellow sadists, doing objectively silly things solely in the name of glory. Who really needs to ride that many miles in the name of personal aggrandizement?

But within any challenge or any game there are tactics. And the best tacticians can adjust in real time as it becomes necessary and suits them.

I’m enjoying a store picked single barrel bourbon from Lexington that I picked up on a layover a few weeks ago. There is an undeniable similarity between the bourbon and the the tour replay I’m watching. The smooth pedal strokes of the professional cyclists dancing up the Col du Galibier, (The highest pass in the TDF), match the smooth amber liquid. Yet, there is a subtle burning that lingers in the background. The natural beauty passing through the French Alps . The confluence of nature from the corn, rye, barley, and charred oak. The internal struggle as the lactic acid accumulation begins to burn. The ethanol’s pungent reminder that beauty is not without it’s cost

As I’m watching this stage on my short La Guardia layover, I’m reminded of game nights with my brother and my father. I come from a family that plays a lot of cards. Euchre, hearts, and pinochle, and board games like risk, monopoly, and anything else where variable strategies and adjusting tactics are rewarded.

The ability to start with a a tactical plan, and adjust those tactics based on real world scenarios is a skill I admire In the professional bike riders. It is also a skill I sought to develop in those family game nights. It is an aspect I look for when buying new games. (Which I do frequently, much to my wife’s chagrin)

A strategy is the plan of action, where you want to go. Tactics describe a procedure or set of maneuvers engaged in to achieve an end, an aim, or a goal. tactics are the individual steps and actions that will get you there.

In the middle of a battle, bike race, or board game or card game as it were, your strategy doesn’t change, your tactics do.

The Tour de France is broken up into 21 stages. The overall leader based on cumulative time wears the yellow jersey. Within each stage are sprint points and mountain climbs. There is also a competition for the best cumulative time for those riders under 23. Plus each stage is its own race. There is a level of prestige reserved for professional cyclists who win a stage on the tour de France, even if the don’t finish the whole tour.

This leads to the necessity of variable tactics. There are races within races going on. In order to maintain your strategic goals, your tactics might have to change based on how any one of those individual races with the tour is unfolding on a particular day.

You might be trying to protect your lead in the King of the Mountains competition, and end up having to battle the Yellow jersey competitors to do so. The sprint point might be in-between two large climbs, or at the end of a stage. Your path to an individual stage win might risk the attention of the overall competitors chasing you down to keep their overall rankings intact.

The point is, these athletes are able to adjust in real time. Roll with the punches. Start off with one tactical plan, and have the awareness, despite days of self inflicted suffering, to adjust those tactics as necessary.

We talk a lot on this platform about tools. Having the right tool for the job. Tools that I want to equip my boys with. Being able to adjust tactics as a game, competition, (or life for that matter) unfolds, is certainly one of them.

It is one of the many skills I am happy my parents passed on to me, largely through games. It is one of the many reasons I love the Tour. As my toddlers melt down when their “plan” for bedtime routine doesn’t match up with reality, I realize we have a little more work to do towards variable tactics, and serenity.

Knoxville River run and treadmills in LaGuardia

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Interesting

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. As I continue my research on language and communication, I continue to find little tidbits that transcend communicology, and have relevance to the areas we tend to discuss here.

Obviously, the things we discuss here, (flying, fitness, fatherhood, etc…) are all things that I, and I presume at least to some extent you, are interested in.

With that in mind, the following passage from Noam Chomsky’s On Language struck me as especially appropriate.

“I think this whole discussion comes down to a confusion between two senses of the word interesting. Certain things are interesting in themselves- for example: human action. But there is another meaning of the word interesting, in physics, for example. A phenomenon in itself does not have interest for a physicist. What happens under the conditions of a scientific experiment is of no importance itself. It’s interest lies in it’s relation to whatever theoretical principles are at stake.

There are a great many things that I have read recently in the course of my research that I find interesting in the second sense of the word. Frequently, after reading some academic passage three or four times to make sure I understand it, and cursing the author for forcing me to look up definitions every other sentence, I will find a nugget (like the one above) that is interesting as it relates to my life, or experiences, or the project I’m working on.

When I excitedly share these findings with my wife, I am very quickly reminded of the difference from the first sense of the word interesting. Many of these theories, findings, hypotheses, are so steeped in academia and so far removed from real life that they are difficult to digest, much less get excited about.

But, because the have a relation to a project, or a passion, they become interesting in the second sense.

The two different types of interesting can also be thought of in terms of the way they affect people. Anything can be interesting in itself to someone without being of interest to someone else. But when it can be related in some other way it’s interest broadens.

Getting stronger with IM FL 70.3 approaching quickly

Linguistics and communicology is not interesting in itself to most people, (as I’m reminded when I discuss it with my wife). But when it can be related to a specific event/topic/situation, (see my previous post about a tough road to hoe) it becomes interesting because now there is context and real life application.

This interplay of interesting is fascinating, especially with my boys. There are some easy guesses on what they will find interesting, but other times I am surprised and fulfilled by their interests.

I recently had lunch with my wife and El Duderino on a layover. We sat down at an old timey diner burger joint. I had a little bit of nostalgia listening to the blues guitar oldies play over the speaker as our burger, fries, and shakes were brought out to the table.

El Duderino’s meal even came served up in an Old school Cadillac dinner tray, wing tips and all. What four year old American boy doesn’t love cheeseburgers, fries, and milkshakes? But when asked what his favorite part of lunch was, (I was sure it would be the milkshake) he told me it was playing air keyboard along with the diner music.

Layovers don’t get much better than this

You never really know what someone else will find interesting, or how what you find interesting will relate to someone else’s lived experience. But sharing our interests, and finding those sometimes hidden relations is a sure path to social connection and serenity. Thank you for sharing in some of what I find interesting.

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Under Pressure

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. I’m sitting post run in my hotel room in Asheville on what could be my last layover in a while, and I wanted to share my thoughts with you.

I was drifting in and out of attention on the van ride to the hotel last night. I was on my phone trying to plan out my running route, when I caught the tail end of that familiar Queen and Bowie bass beet over the van radio. The words washed over me knowing this could be me last trip, and expecting a furlough notice any day, “this is our last dance, this is ourselves under pressure”

First off, I love my job, I’m grateful to be here, and I’m even more grateful that I knew this could be my last dance. Back in March, I got in an argument with the captain I flew with right at the end of the last rotation I would fly before lockdown. I didn’t know at the time that I would be out of the cockpit for an uncertain length of time, but I probably could have been a better version of myself if I had known.

Going in to this trip knowing that there is a good chance I don’t fly next month, and a good chance I get furloughed in October (I received my furlough notice along with 1940 other pilots a few minutes ago) I was primed to appreciate all of it (good and bad) with that knowledge ahead of time.

The way I feel hurtling towards the October 1st furlough date

It’s hard to see past the built in endings in anything. I remember crying while hugging my coach and my mother after my last wrestling match, not so much because I was sad, but because there is an emptiness left in the wake of mission completion. I remember the same emotions, crying alone in my hotel room after I finished Ironman FL.

I went on to coach wrestling and started Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, and I continue training for and competing in triathlons, so they weren’t true endings, more like page breaks. But, there is still an emptiness especially in the immediate aftermath that is, I believe, unavoidable.

I’m fighting those same emotions and fighting back tears writing this now. I know (or strongly believe anyhow) that as a relatively young man this is not an ending, but just a page break in my career. Objectively, I understand this, but it provides little comfort to my short term feelings of emptiness.

If you’ve followed the blog for any length of time (thank you), I’ve been a preacher (for lack off a better term) of strengthening mental, physical, and emotional well-being, as a way to be better prepared no matter what situations you encounter. I feel blessed that my biggest concern is how much I will miss flying and how it has become a part of me, rather than my ability through flying to fulfill more base needs for my family (ie food on the table, and a roof over head)

Meal prep on the Z Grills pellet grill. Smoked turkey, brussel sprouts, asparagus, sweet potatoes, and beer bread

My family and I will be fine. In the grand scheme of things this will be a story we tell years from now in cockpits and at dinner parties. But in the short term, where page breaks seem like cliffs, emotions can run high, molehills can be turned into mountains.

Whatever may come over the next few months or years, I hope that I have prepared myself and my family to the best of my ability, for the challenges ahead. I hope that new passion and warmth fills in the emptiness that these events leave in their wake. I hope I am able to have the same appreciation throughout my career, as I have for this potential last(for a while anyway) flight. I hope that I can enjoy what may be my last dance, and that my family and I can live well, under pressure.

Morning miles along the French broad river in Asheville

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.