Tag: Resolutions

If you drop the cake…

Happy New year, and thanks for stopping in to Serenity through Sweat. I hope 2020 finds you all in good health, happy disposition and appropriately sweaty.

I was training Jiu Jitsu with the owner of my gym the other day and he said something that has stuck with me well beyond our roll

Brad is a business owner, a black belt masters world champion, an incredibly gifted athlete frequently training with people half his age, and he likes to talk. It’s not uncommon for our training rolls to be 60% rolling 40% talking. And most of it is pleasantries or whatever the topic of the day is, but this particular comment has me thinking about its value beyond a grappling context.

Brad had asked our new head instructor Alec (new to our school and fresh off an ADCC competition) about how to escape a position and Alec replied (I’m paraphrasing) “sometimes if you drop the cake you don’t get to just pick it back up, you have to go back to the kitchen and make a new one”

From a grappling context I totally understood the idea. The best defense for some positions is to never be put there to begin with. We need to learn to sense the danger in positions before it is too late, and if we don’t, then you tap, reset, and try to learn for the next time. But what about outside Jiu Jitsu?

How many times in my personal or work relationships have I “dropped the cake”? And then my initial reaction is that everything is fine, I’ll just pick up the cake off the floor. I know when I screw up, especially if I’ve hurt someone I care about, I want to fix it ASAP. But the cake is on the floor and baking a new one takes time and effort, (plus I’m not a great baker so probably some more practice)

On the same note, if someone I love “drops the cake” am I giving them the opportunity to go back and make a new one, or am I kicking them out of the kitchen?

With the arrival of the new year the majority of us probably have some resolutions to better ourselves, improve our relationships, etc… How are we going to respond when we inevitably drop the cake on one of our new resolutions?

Forgiveness is a tough ask and a two way street. Whether you are forgiving a friend or co-worker, or even forgiving yourself, or you are asking for forgiveness, at some point we all drop the cake. Finding serenity is a much easier journey if we can learn to forgive ourselves and others, (and stay out of any leg reaps).

Thanks for joining me, and stay sweaty my friends.

today’s Serenity through Sweat was 30 minutes with RobinNYC on the Peleton and then some one handed 24kg swings

Redefine the relationship

With New year’s right around the corner I’m thinking about New year’s resolutions. Most perennial gym members hate this time of year. The gym is full of fresh faces that often lack gym knowledge and/or etiquette and will most likely be short lived members. And while this is a real source of frustration, I would urge you to use this time to redefine your relationship, not just with your gym, but across many areas of your life.

The idea of redefining the relationship came to me earlier this year while participating with Joe Rogan and his buddies in Sober October. If you aren’t familiar with that tradition, basically abstain from booze for the month of October and then generally make better choices about your health and well being. The idea being at the end of the month you can look back and redefine your relationship with booze, food, fitness, etc…

For my sober October I decided to refrain from drinking but also anything with added sugar for the month. I then called off the month with a 24 hour fasting period.

For me it’s not uncommon to have a beer with dinner and another while winding down after my son goes to bed. It’s also not uncommon to have a small piece of chocolate or a mini Klondike bar for dessert (I know they are garbage calories but they are so good, and as the saying goes there is a long list of things I would do for a Klondike bar). The first 10 days or so without beer or sugar I felt somewhat grumpy and irritable at night. Like I was entitled to something for making it through the day and now it was being taken away.

The beer I would normally have wile winding down after my son went to bed I replaced with hot tea, this gave me something of a nightly ritual and something to look forward to, instead of just removing items I was replacing them. I also noticed I was sleeping better, and my resting heart rate was about 2-4 beats per minute lower on average over the course of the month.

October came and went (the 24 hour fast was not a great idea but more on that later) but at the end of the month I no longer felt like I was owed a couple of beers and dessert every night for successfully adulting through the day. I still enjoy craft beer, and my wonderful wife made me an advent craft beer calendar, but celebrating and counting down to Christmas feels different than popping a top because I finished a day. I still enjoy dessert (probably more often then I ought too especially during the holidays), but it feels like my relationship with both has changed after taking some time away from them.

Back to New year’s resolutions. They are what you make of them, and even if you only stick to something for a short time, maybe it can help you redefine your relationship with it.

Hate exercise but made a resolution to get in shape, maybe you can find an activity you enjoy and change your relationship with fitness. Have a sweet tooth and want to stay off sugar for a week, a month, a year. Maybe you don’t make it all the way or you slip up occasionally, but redefining your relationship with sugar is progress.

Maybe you you are that perennial gym goer who is angry at the world because someone is doing curls at the squat rack. Can you redefine your relationship with your gym peers. Maybe take someone under your wing in a helpful and non-condescending manner (I know that’s a tough ask if they are curling in the squat rack but come on we are all trying to get better around New year’s)

I hope the new year brings all of you happiness, health, success, obviously some serenity through sweat, and a positive paradigm progression. All alliteration aside thanks for joining me, happy new year, and stay sweaty my friends.

Post run view from the hotel bar,
Today’s Serenity through sweat, 4 miles on the sand in Panama City beach.