Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. This week I want to talk about solitude, and how it changes throughout the many topics (parenthood, travel, and sport) we cover together.
This particular week saw me in the dog house with my lovely wife. The details of which are a story for another time, but suffice it to say what can already be a lonely job, felt even lonelier.
It got me thinking about the times when I find my serenity in solitude, and the times when I find only sorrow, and what makes them different.
Triathlon tends to be a lonely sport. As does any endurance sport, especially as the distance you cover gets longer and longer. Sure you will have friends and training partners for support, but there is no getting around long days and miles with nothing but your thoughts.
Most of the time this is an escape, and a peaceful place. Even on those days where the demons need to be put down, I’ve always felt that we are at least on an equal playing field under the stresses of self induced cardiovascular effort.
Grappling is unique in that it is almost impossible to train alone, but competition is always a solo event. You are always preparing to bear the sole responsibility of your performance, physically, mentally, and emotionally.
As a parent of two young boys, solitude is often viewed an oasis, a place devoid of the constant needs of children who are not yet self sufficient. That same solitude can also be a a trap, bringing with it a sense of loss from lack of adult communication and connection.
Flying presents a unique form of solitude that presents a double edged sword similar to that of parenthood. I don’t have coworkers in the sense of seeing the same people day in and day out. This presents a wonderful opportunity to learn from and share experiences with a lot of different people, but is somewhat preventative to the formation of more meaningful relationships that come out of more consistant proximity. I also have a very different schedule than many of my non aviation friends, so scheduling social events can be quite difficult.
On the plus side, time alone, especially in changing settings, can bring with it new appreciation and new perspective. A change of scenery is seldom a bad thing especially when approached with the right attitude.
Set, setting, and dosage, appear to be the key difference makers in the outcome of solitude. Is it solitude that you are actively seeking out, or that you are being forced in to? Are you in control of it’s duration? Are you otherwise actively engaged while you are alone? These can all change solitude from that place of serenity, to the prison of sorrow.
I’m grateful that for the most part, my solitude is a result of my own choosing, and a place where I can actively seek serenity and solace. And, on those rare occasions when solitude is not my choice, it is a good place for reflection, so long as I’m able to get past my own emotional baggage. Lots of time invested in the former, tends to help the latter.
Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.
