Solace – Serenity Through Sweat

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. This week I want to talk about solitude, and how it changes throughout the many topics (parenthood, travel, and sport) we cover together.

This particular week saw me in the dog house with my lovely wife. The details of which are a story for another time, but suffice it to say what can already be a lonely job, felt even lonelier.

It got me thinking about the times when I find my serenity in solitude, and the times when I find only sorrow, and what makes them different.

Triathlon tends to be a lonely sport. As does any endurance sport, especially as the distance you cover gets longer and longer. Sure you will have friends and training partners for support, but there is no getting around long days and miles with nothing but your thoughts.

Most of the time this is an escape, and a peaceful place. Even on those days where the demons need to be put down, I’ve always felt that we are at least on an equal playing field under the stresses of self induced cardiovascular effort.

Grappling is unique in that it is almost impossible to train alone, but competition is always a solo event. You are always preparing to bear the sole responsibility of your performance, physically, mentally, and emotionally.

As a parent of two young boys, solitude is often viewed an oasis, a place devoid of the constant needs of children who are not yet self sufficient. That same solitude can also be a a trap, bringing with it a sense of loss from lack of adult communication and connection.

Flying presents a unique form of solitude that presents a double edged sword similar to that of parenthood. I don’t have coworkers in the sense of seeing the same people day in and day out. This presents a wonderful opportunity to learn from and share experiences with a lot of different people, but is somewhat preventative to the formation of more meaningful relationships that come out of more consistant proximity. I also have a very different schedule than many of my non aviation friends, so scheduling social events can be quite difficult.

On the plus side, time alone, especially in changing settings, can bring with it new appreciation and new perspective. A change of scenery is seldom a bad thing especially when approached with the right attitude.

Leaving my serenity behind for the next Peleton user in ATL

Set, setting, and dosage, appear to be the key difference makers in the outcome of solitude. Is it solitude that you are actively seeking out, or that you are being forced in to? Are you in control of it’s duration? Are you otherwise actively engaged while you are alone? These can all change solitude from that place of serenity, to the prison of sorrow.

I’m grateful that for the most part, my solitude is a result of my own choosing, and a place where I can actively seek serenity and solace. And, on those rare occasions when solitude is not my choice, it is a good place for reflection, so long as I’m able to get past my own emotional baggage. Lots of time invested in the former, tends to help the latter.

Some extra sweaty morning miles in Columbia SC

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. With Christmas behind us, I was thinking about all of the things I did growing up with my family, and the things I want to do with my family now. I started to wonder, what makes a tradition?

By definition, a tradition is “an inherited, established, or customary pattern of thought, action, or behavior”. Basically anything we pass on to the next generation is a tradition.

Upper thigh parade in the new shorts for the 2020 Christmas Half Marathon

The creation of, and passing on of tradition is a powerful responsibility. I think it is important to not only explore the actions and behaviors that we are passing down themselves, but also the why behind them.

This year marked the ninth annual Christmas half marathon. What started out as an excursion in masochism and mindfulness to combat being alone on Christmas, has turned into something more.

Speedy and El Duderino ready to get the festivities started.

In 2012, after signing up for Ironman Florida to take place the following November, I ran 14.5 miles on Christmas day. While keeping my training volume up after a recent half iron triathlon and a century ride, the run was really about being on call over Christmas and not being able to see family.

As a charter pilot and particularly one junior at the company, I spent the next several years running half marathons on or around Christmas, either in different cities or on hotel treadmills. Finding solace in street, and comfort on the concrete, I pounded the pavement to combat the rising tide of frustration, emotion, and solitude that went hand in hand with professions that work through holidays, especially away from home.

Milk, cookies, carrots, and our letter to Santa

This pattern continued from 2012-2016. Five years, five half marathons, mostly a steam pipe venting pent up holiday emotions while working away from home. Then in 2017, El Duderino was born at the beginning of December. In addition, my grandmother passed right around Christmas in 2017.

I was planning on being home for Christmas 2017 one way or the other. But that year I was home with my wife and newborn son. I was in-between jobs on a sick time paid paternity leave from my prior charter job, and getting ready to start at a new airline that would be my career dream job. With a three week old baby, a well accumulated sleep debt, and the emotional toll of a lost family member very fresh, the pavement was calling for a whole host of new reasons.

2 is 1, and 1 is none, has never been truer than when your toddler takes your roller after you’re done running 13 miles. Thank God for backups

What started as an escape from solitude and an outlet for frustration, had changed with my growing family. There is a clarity that endurance challenges offer in a way nothing else can quite match. Whatever stresses or anxieties you lay on the alter of repetitive cardiovascular motion can be alleviated with the proper offering.

Over the past few years, managing my holiday schedule has become as much about being home with my growing family, as it is about making time to log those miles. My physical, mental, and emotional state has been different each year, and what I needed to get out of the run has been a little different as well.

A bold strategy for the days preceding the half marathon.

One aspect of SerenityThroughSweat is the process of working through those demons out on the pavement, in search of being a better person. The tradition of a Christmas half marathon, has helped me in what can be, despite it’s many joys, a stressful season.

Long distance running during the holidays has become an established pattern of behavior for me. While I would love to see my boys pick up and ultimately pass on that tradition, the run is just the mechanism and the reasons behind it, serenity, clarity, solace, relief, are what is truly important. I hope that those are the thoughts, behaviors, and actions, that are passed down through generations. In the end, I hope that I can raise young men who are capable of finding their own path to serenity, and making their own traditions

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Tag: Solace

Tradition