Wrestling – Serenity Through Sweat

Results

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. This week is want to talk about results. Or, more specifically, a result oriented versus process oriented paradigm.

I recently competed in the IBJJF Pan championships. In the the world of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu in the gi, this is considered a grand slam event.

People travel from all over the world to compete and watch this tournament. It just so happens to take place right in my backyard. It also happens to take place during spring break time when I had time off work.

It seemed silly, given those factors, not to sign up and compete. Even though I knew I would be unable to train and prepare to the full extent I wanted to, I signed up for the competition with high expectations.

Having competed the previous year losing my first match 0-0 via a referee decision, I went into this tournament hoping to improve on my performance but also on my results. Two very distinct categories.

I wasn’t unhappy with my performance from last year, but the results were definitely a gut check. They led to a reassessment of my training and preparation.

This year I signed up for a smaller local competition a month before Pans. I wanted to get a more recent reminder of the competitive atmosphere in my memory than the previous loss at last year’s Pans. I wrote about that tournament here.

Through a freak accident to the wrestling coach at our gym, I ended up taking over teaching the class. This meant not only more reps and training, but also much more time thinking about the wrestling and takedown aspects of BJJ competition.

I also took over teaching the Gi class that I normally attended since that instructor had moved out of the country.

Again, this meant a lot more mental preparation and thinking about techniques, even if the amount of time spent physically training was less than I would have wanted it to be.

I felt good going in to Pans. Mentally strong. Physically strong. I had a solid three plus weeks of very clean eating and living in order to get down to the lightweight limit. A roughly 10 pound drop from my normal walking around weight.

I arrived to the convention center early so I could have a long, low, and slow warmup. Waking up the body and the mind, as much as working out the nervous energy, I jumped right out of my jump rope. After about an hour of watching matches and intermittantly jumping, the set screw gave way, and one of the rope ends flew right out of the handle. It was strangely self gratifying in my ability to outlast the equipment.

I made my way to the weigh in and the fighter holding pen. Mutch different from my wrestling days, weigh-ins are immediately prior to your match as opposed to first thing in the morning. The fighter pen is a small cattle herd of metal barricades, keeping in the nervous energy and testosterone, jittering bouncing and going over final preparations for the combat ahead.

I felt the anxiety of the impending competition. Those familiar butterflies in my stomach, even after all the years of grappling. If that feeling is no longer present, I will have to rethink further competition.

Like I have done before every wrestling or BJJ match I can remember, I started my final warmup with an our father prayer. I followed that with my own prayer to wrestle 6 minutes hard. 6 minutes strong. 6 minutes smart. 6 minutes safe. To have a performance that I can be proud of, and that my family can be proud of. To be gracious in victory or defeat. To keep myself and my competitors free from injury.

My name was called along with my opponent for the first match. We shook hands and hugged before walking to the mats.

I bounced and stretched at the mats edge, trying to clear my mind, creating a blank canvas for the match ahead.

I’ve written before about the special place that competitive athletic endeavors have for me. Like walking through a portal, I feel transported. Stepping onto the mat, for those five minutes, (high-school wrestling matches are six and my prayer has not been updated, better to err on the long side anyway) everything else fades away. The canvas is blank to create a piece of art and tell a story, together with my opponent, without any of our other baggage.

We stood wrestling for the first two minutes or so of the match. I felt I had the upper hand with takedowns and pressed my advantage. After a few near takedowns, I saw my opponent gasp for a deep breath and change his stance and posture. I knew my next shot would be successful.

After scoring the takedown, I followed my game plan and won the match on top, threatening to pass his guard and attack his left arm. The match went about as well as I could have hoped for and I advanced to the quarter finals.

I had plenty of time to catch my breath, stretch, and recover before being called up for my next match. Again, I shook hands and hugged my opponent before walking from the pen to the mats.

Already in a better spot than I was the previous year, I knew winning this match would see me on the podium. That was the goal I had set for this competition, make the podium.

The match started similar to the first. We wrestled standing for a minute or so were I felt I had an advantage. My opponent recognized this and pulled guard.

We ended up in his 50/50 guard, a leg entanglement where our respective right legs are interlaced, knees to knee with him laying on his back and me standing.

It is a difficult position to get out of, and comes with the risk of an easy transition from bottom to top. That would give my opponent 2 points for a sweep and in all likelihood a deficit that would be hard to overcome.

I pressed forward, testing the flexibility of his hip and the strength of his lock on the other leg. With enough pressure I could break the lock and potentially attack the knee. I had to be careful to keep my balance, falling backward even if i stayed on top could give my opponent and advantage point that would be hard to overcome.

At one point, I was able to break the lock of his legs and press forward. He recovered, but i felt i was making progress. Before I knew it, the match was over.

0-0 no advantage points given. Under the circumstances, the match would be decided by the referee. My opponent won the referee’s decision.

To say I was disappointed by the results would be an understatement. It is hard to walk away with a loss, without feeling like you were beaten. It is a confusing mental space.

In contrast, I was happy with my performance. I was aggressive. I didn’t make any tactical or strategic mistakes. Every position I found myself in, I had a clear mental path forward. I was gracious in victory and in defeat.

I’m still not sure how to process the outcome. It isn’t a win, but it doesn’t feel like a loss either. Complaining isn’t helpful, nor is beating myself up or second guessing my performance. There are always areas to improve upon, but there was no glaring hole in my game that was exposed by those two matches.

I’m trying instead to shift focus away from the result, and back to the process. I have much more control over the latter than the former.

Focusing on the process is something I can change. I can take the frustration over the results and direct it somewhere positive. There are levers that can be pulled and dials that can be turned. The results, are what they are, and revisiting them is unproductive.

A cold damp run on a Toronto layover. The hairdryer I used to dry out my shoes afterward turned one of the insoles into a shrinky-dink

I can continue to work on my wrestling in the gi, not giving my opponents the chance to pull guard, or forcing them to do so from a place of weakness.

I can continue to develop a style that is aggressive and attacking. I can work to improve positions where I find myself stuck. I can find additional time to train, and prioritize bjj as i approach competitions in the future.

I’m disappointed with the results, but I’m content with my preparation and performance. Resetting my focus back to the process has brought some much needed serenity in the face of uncertainty over those results.

Some higher intintervals and some weight management rides

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

135lb hangover

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. I spent a large portion of the past weekend traveling. While that is pretty normal for my job as a pilot, this was a different kind of travel. A real, planes, trains, and automobiles adventure.

El Duderino, Speedy, my wife, and I all headed out late Thursday evening on a flight to Atlanta. Arriving well after the boys bedtime, we went to a hotel located a short walk from the airport sky train.

After a restless night of sleep for all four of us we were up and at em, picking up the rental car and out of the hotel before 9 AM. We stopped to pick up a U-Haul truck, and then made very carefully timed subsequent stops at both IKEA and Sam’s Club, enroute to our new home in North Carolina.

We had to stop at the realtor’s office to sign closing paperwork after the two and half hour drive. All of this had to be done before 2PM so we could take possession of the house before the county offices closed for the weekend.

Only an optimist can put together a plan like that. There were so many moving pieces. So many variables outside of our control. Somehow, like a rare celestial alignment, everything worked out wonderfully and we spent the weekend in our new home.

On the two and a half hour drive, winding through the mountain roads in a crosswind catching U-Haul box, I heard Bert Kreischer tell Joe Rogan a story that struck a nerve in me.

Bert was telling Joe how he watched one of his wife’s friends, a middle aged woman whose stunning beauty had started to fade, struggle to get a bartenders attention.

The moment Bert described was probably fleeting. He doesn’t say how long she was at the bar, or how long it took her to get the bartender’s attention. But he gives an eloquent and detailed description of her confusion. The puzzled look on her face. Her inability to process why the bartender is not immediately paying attention to her.

He realizes, this is a new experience for her. As a younger head turner, this was never a problem she had to deal with. And, she has yet to come to the realization that she is no longer that person.

Joe Rogan spouts out a quote from Socrates that he is apt to use in similar situations, “beauty is a short lived tyranny”.

The whole thing made me think about my wrestling. I was very successful and adept as a high school wrestler at 135 lbs. And my wrestling base, and instincts, and movements, have served me very well in life and especially in Jiu Jitsu.

But, there is always a big glaring but. My wrestling in Jiu Jitsu, especially with a gi on, bears a striking resemblance to this former beauty at the bar. Misunderstanding my current place in the pecking order. Over reliant on a skill set that has faded. Unable to recognize the need to evolve and adapt.

Running off the bike, getting ready for IM 70.3

I’m not sure why it took me this long to see it. Maybe it was egotistical denial. Maybe there are enough alternatives in Jiu Jitsu where I could hide the deficiency. Maybe I was able to get away with old habits with less skilled opponents.

Either way, the bandaid has been ripped off. I refuse to be the bombshell at the bar, past my prime and confused about how things are changing around me. It’s time to learn again as a beginner. To embrace the potential for growth and get past my 135lb wrestling hangover.

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Empathy

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. After a busy week on vacation we are back and better than ever, with an interesting take on empathy.

The following article was posted on Sunday’s with Sisson, and was an incredibly compelling read. The cliff notes version is that consumption of physical painkillers (acetaminophen was used in the experiment testing) blunt not only our own pain, but also our neurochemical pathways for empathy for the pain of another.

That’s a pretty heavy scientific finding, and as the author’s put it, “Because empathy regulates prosocial and antisocial behavior, these drug-induced reductions in empathy raise concerns about the broader social side effects of acetaminophen, which is taken by almost a quarter of adults in the United States each week.”

I’m going to take a somewhat anti NSAID (non steroidal anti inflammatory drug) position in this post, but I want to clarify that these products have their important uses and have both improved and saved lives.

Acetaminophen as a fever reducer, especially for infants is a godsend. Pain management is a critical component to successful outcomes in many surgical, medical, and rehabilitation environments.

That being said, it is easy to misuse and abuse. That is coming from a guilty party, who spent the better part of my wrestling career eating Tylenol, Advil, and Aleve like a unsupervised child in a candy store.

Speedy’s first flight and a beautiful day at the beach

I remember a conversation I had with my wife after first starting jui jitsu, that despite being very similar to wrestling, my mindset was so much different in my practice of the gentle art. I remember telling her how I used to run through training partners in the wrestling room. In the pursuit of my own competitive goals, I pushed some of my teammates beyond their athletic comfort level, sometimes into over exertion and injury. There wasn’t any room for feelings or slowing down to teach them, it was all about me.

Contrast that with my practice of Jui Jitsu where I spend a lot of time explaining to someone how a position or scenario unfolded, and what they could have done differently, or posing those same questions to my brothers and sisters on the mat with a reasonable expectation that they will be answered. I start each round asking my training partners about their level of preparedness prior to each roll, how they are feeling, positions that they want to work on or avoid based on injury or weakness.

There is a gentleman’s agreement amongst almost all Jui Jitsu practitioners, that even if someone is too stubborn to tap out, it is your responsibility to your training partners to maintain their safety, especially above and beyond any of your own training goals. This same concept applies to an extent in wrestling, (you are responsible for safely returning an opponent to the mat when you forcefully remove them from it). But, because of the differences in rule sets, wrestling can largely be about moving someone where they don’t want to go, rather than systematically attacking from the changing positions you find yourself in, in Jiu Jitsu.

Some may say that wrestling is inherently more of a tough, grinding, grappling sport, when compared to the flow of jui jitsu, and they may be right. It can also be said that even my own stunted emotional maturity in my thirties is still light-years beyond that of my late teens. I would say however, that there is a significant difference in my self medication habits between the two periods of similar grappling activity, and I’m wondering how much of a impact this has had on my empathy, and thus my social engagement.

Beyond sport, there is nothing quite like being a parent to enhance and clarify your sense of empathy. There is something about carrying a kicking and screaming child that enables that neural pathway to empathize with all the other parents who have gone down the path before.

And if it takes a village to raise a child, as they say, sharing in the emotional well-being of said villiage is in the best interest of all the parents.

As I chased a screaming El Duderino around the Southern tier brewery’s outdoor seating area, and tried to keep him from terrorizing his little brother as well as the other patrons, I was pleasantly surprised to get a fist bump from a fellow father saying “dad, you’re doing great”.

This man’s empathy put a smile on my face and gave me the extra boost I needed to maintain some modicum of serenity throughout the rest of the afternoon.

So where NSAIDs may well blunt some of our more important social niceties along with some pain, it turns out sunshine and craft beer might just help replace them. (Trust the science)

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Control

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. This week I want to revisit another Dune quote that I was thinking about while wrangling my raging toddler.

I’ve spent the majority of my life in the practice of controlling and manipulating other people’s bodies. Wrestling and jui jitsu, at their core, are martial arts of control.

The rule sets are somewhat different, which alters the strategies, reactions, and the way that engagement with an opponent plays out. But, both are incredibly similar in the objective of controlling and manipulating your opponent into a certain positions or techniques.

With jui jitsu especially, I’m reminded of another Frank Herbert Dune quote. “He who can destroy a thing, has true control over it”

In the context of the book, Herbert is talking about a natural resource, and that the ability to destroy it, but also the ability to be without it after it is destroyed, is the true measure of control.

In jui jitsu, the goal to submit your opponent often manifests as true control of a joint. Armbars, shoulder locks, and chokes, are all a form of control over another person’s body, with the ability to destroy that particular part.

Jui jitsu is self described as the “gentle art”, because despite the ability to destroy another person’s joint being the main focus, it can be practiced (if done correctly) at full intensity, without fear of injury. The same thing is hard to say for other martial arts especially ones with striking.

While Herbert’s definition of control is incredibly accurate and very fitting for grappling arts, I would submit that it is overlooking a different element of control that is equally as important

The last two weeks Speedy and El Duderino have transitioned back into daycare. They visit a small in home facility with a provider that takes wonderful care of them. Speedy has been happy as a Clam, but El Duderino, being older and having spent the past year home with us, is struggling to adjust.

This has brought on many of the inconsolable temper tantrums that “allegedly” were frequent in my younger years. I find myself now on the other side of the equation, and trying to exert over it a modicum of control.

I find it interestingly ironic that a toddler having a temper tantrum can be accurately described as both out of control, and self destructing. If the ability to control a thing is based on the ability to destroy, one if our definitions needs a reworking

Once again I find myself manipulating and controlling bodies, this time a raging toddler instead of a fellow grappler. With that change comes a different meaning of control.

The most difficult opponents to grapple are those that respond and react in unpredictable ways. That sums up the movements of a temper tantrum pretty well. Once it escalates to a level where my 40+ lb tasmanian devil could hurt himself, his little brother, or start breaking things, I step in with the attempt to control.

With just shy of 30 years of grappling experience, it isn’t hard to keep him in positions where the risk of injury or property damage is almost non existent, regardless of his erratic movement. Just like the gentle art he can be at full intensity and I’m not worried about hurting him. But unlike the gentle art, I’m not looking to destroy anything (except maybe his current mood)

This type of control has, as it’s foundational definition, compassion and preservation rather than destruction. When I’m truly in control of him I’m no longer worried about him hurting himself or somebody else. Just like a wrestler who lifts his opponent off the mat is responsible for his safe return, this level of control is focused solely on the safety of the other.

I would argue that while being able to destroy a thing is indeed control over it, being able to prevent it’s destruction requires just as much, if not more control.

I’ve always been grateful for the many gifts that grappling has given back to me over the years. This new level of control is just one more blessing, and one I look forward to sharing with my boys (once they no longer require me to practice it on them of course)

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Running, cycling, and heavy bag with a predatory audience

Faking the Funk

I picked up archery as a new hobby a few months ago and I’ve been consuming a lot of archery related information online. YouTube, podcasts, blogs, there is a ton of wonderful information available for free, what a time to be alive.

One of the podcasts I listen to frequently is the Bowjunky podcast by Greg Poole, and Greg frequently says something that makes me chuckle. Used in a variety of situations Greg will caution his listeners against “faking the funk”

All alliteration aside, faking the funk is a fantastic description of the majority of social media posts and fits in with the overall theme of the last few Serenity through Sweat posts. This week we have talked about measuring metrics and data, logging and posting those items for others to see, and now to bring it full circle, based on the content you put out, are you faking the funk?

This concept of faking the funk is something I’ve been aware of and have danced the line of since highschool. My nickname on the wrestling team in highschool was Woody, as a tribute to woody harrelson’s character in “white men can’t jump”. I would show up to tournaments in tye dye pajama pants and a ratty worn down hoody and look like a chump. This was a style all my own and I could back up my questionable fashion choices with my performance on the mat.

In college I continued the trend in my ultimate frisbee days playing on a team clad in Speedos. The message was always don’t take yourself too serious, but be able to back up your bravado. This tradition has continued to be passed down to the team through the alumni group and the message is consistent.

A lot of those same alumni from the speedo teams ventured into the triathlon community, another area rife with people taking themselves too serious and faking the funk. So we’ve come together to form the TriGoodBeer triathlon team and the BadAssRaceFans (BARF) cheering and morale section. This group is composed of some serious athletes with some incredible athletic achievements, but all of whom can have fun with themselves in the moment.

It’s easy to get wrapped around the axle tracking training metrics, logging workouts, and sharing to social media, especially if you have some sort of incentive to do so. It’s easy to start putting out a persona and eventually faking the funk.

That being said, you can’t fake a marathon. You have to put one foot in front of the other until all 26.2 are done. You can’t fake an archery scoring round, you shoot all your arrows and hold yourself accountable for where they land. When you show up to train, only you know whether you trained or whether you sat on the sidelines.

Wrapping up this three post series, measure what you want, and post what you want, but you can’t fake your way to serenity, and you can’t fake good old fashioned hard work and sweat. If you are true to yourself and don’t take yourself too serious, serenity is probably already one step closer.

Thanks for joining me and stay sweaty my friends.