Zwift – Page 5 – Serenity Through Sweat

Race day

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. This past weekend was my first foray back into longer distance triathlon since having kids and I wanted to share some of my experience.

Let me start by saying it is difficult to adequately express the range of emotions that pop up over the 5:48 it took me to cover the 70.3 miles.

There are lows of despair, pain, and self doubt, followed by bouts of confidence and elation. The smallest and most insignificant detail can move you from one end of the spectrum to the other, and right back again just as quickly.

Nobody likes swimming with company. Biking and running with friends is great, swimming with friends really just means getting groped and kicked. Even with the rolling start (which was way better than IM FL in 2013) the swim was more of a contact sport than desired.

I’m very grateful for a safe bike experience both training and racing. Seeing some of my fellow athletes bloodied and road rashed, or worse is a reminder of how fortunate I am to have avoided major accidents despite all the miles put in.

It also reinforces my decision to train almost exclusively indoors on the bike. With a smart trainer and zwift, my biking is more efficient (in terms of not needing to load up and load out and drive to a safer road to ride). It is also way more diverse in terms of ability to climb, sprint, and ride different simulated terrain and topography.

I felt very prepared for the bike course with only indoor training, but it was a refreshing reminder of why I love to ride my bike. The cool December Florida temperatures (at least for the bike leg) paired with the rolling hills, rural roads, and orange groves, made for a picturesque Sunday morning ride. There were more than few instances out on the bike course where I found myself smiling, lost in the gentle mechanical hum of the chain through the cogs.

There is a simple and efficient exchange that happens on the bike that is magical. Human power goes in and locomotion comes out, but some of that majesty can be lost when looking at a power meter and a virtual world. The wind rushing past the ear scoops of my way too serious looking aero helmet, brought all that majesty back very quickly.

By mile forty seven on the bike course, after north of three hours of racing already, the gentle rolling hills and orange groves seemed much less enchanting as my legs started to fatigue and the new asphalt gave way to roads that can be best described as a taint jackhammer. It is a glamorous sport, you just need the right words to describe it.

The race start was delayed an hour due to morning fog, which was a good call, but it meant the run would be done in the heat of the day, even for the fastest athletes. My slightly better than .idle of the pack pace was no exception. Add in unseasonably warm temperatures for Florida in December, and the half marathon was set up to be a trip through the pain cave.

There is a surge of energy that happens in transition. Our senses are naturally enhanced by change, as an evolutionary trait, so the bike to run change brings not only a sense of completion and accomplishment, but also a much needed shot of adrenaline. That wears off far too quickly as you realize you have 13 miles to run with more uphill than you realized.

A two loop run course is wonderful for spectators and logistics, but it is a cruel mistress. The exit is always close, the self inflicted punishment can stop whenever you want it to. This is a silly thing to do to yourself anyway, why run another lap?

A shot from a friendly neighbor’s hose, the ice cubes melting into sweet relief down your back, a kind word from a fellow masochist, can all give you the push you need to keep moving forward.

The run course wound in an out of neighborhoods, doubling back on itself, in a way that made me frustrated and delirious. Those same rolling hills that seemed so enchanting just a few hours ago, rose up like a rock wall, shimmering in the Florida sun.

Wanting to quit, wanting to jump for joy, wanting a beer, these are all things I had felt before in varying intensity at different races. What I hadn’t felt was my ability to be a father after that kind of effort.

Above and beyond triathlon, the extra gear and the endurance that I have when I see those two smiling faces, is something that I wish I knew how to train, but I’m glad it comes naturally. Being able to take my kids to the playground and the pool, and run around the house with them after the race means regardless of my finishing time, my training was right on point.

The elevation profile is a little off, but here are the race details in all their glory

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Misogi

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. I try to write weekly, so this would have been for the week of Nov 28-Dec 4, one week out from IM FL 70.3. because life often gets in the way it’s being written on Dec 9, three days till race day.

Despite being a notoriously braggadocious group, I have never heard a pilot claim to have a perfect check ride. There is always some small detail, or some overlooked aspect that could have been performed better.

As close as we get to white Christmas in FL

I think the same is true of triathletes, runners, and cyclists. Even after winning an event, beating a goal time, or setting a new PR (personal record), there is always some aspect of the race or the preparation that could have gone better.

Neurologically, when we stress our body, especially the type of heightened stress that comes with the fast speeds and hyper focus of racing, all the details of the event get imprinted onto our memories. The same neural pathways are triggered when flashing lights, bells and whistles start going off while moving hundreds of miles per hour across the ground in a metal tube.

Chilly treadmill work in Montreal, and speedo weather at the pool in FL

This is an evolutionary trait that helps us learn from what were typically life or death encounters in our ancient past. Hunting to feed your family, escaping a predator, traversing a difficult landscape to find shelter, all fit the bill.

Where those types of events might have happened somewhat regularly to our ancestors, it is relatively easy to avoid that kind of stress and discomfort in today’s society especially if you are above the poverty line in the U.S.

Enter Misogi. (You can read more about it here) An ancient Japanese practice that originated with a myth and has been adapted to a modern concept of challenge. The idea is to pick a challenge for yourself once a year that tests your physical and mental limits. A challenge that you don’t know if you can actually complete.

Part of the thought process is that you don’t know where the end of your potential lies unless you push up to the failure point. Part of the magic is that the neural imprinting from such a challenge stays with you long after you cross the finish line, or don’t for that matter too.

While I’ve finished a full Ironman triathlon, and finished a few half Ironman distance races, this one feels a little different. For starters I haven’t raced this long of a course since before I had kids. My priorities and responsibilities at home, and my time and ability to train are all drastically different than they were when I crossed the line at IM FL almost a decade ago.

Despite wrestling in hundreds of matches and grappling for closing in on 30 years, I still get butterflies in my stomach before ever match. I’ve been racing for less than half that time, and I get butterflies at the starting line too.

I’m sure when I’m on the beach at Lake Eva state park in just a few days I will have butterflies for the trial that lies ahead. Right now I have the thought of Misogi, a challenge with an uncertain outcome, that lingers in my head.

Like an old friend who has perhaps overstayed his welcome, the excitement of the challenge along with the uncertainty and doubt have become an unwelcome guest, but one that I cannot force to leave before the time has come.

I’m nervous and excited. I’m proud that my boys will be able to share this challenge with me, even in some small way, and I hope that one day I can share challenges of theirs with uncertain outcomes.

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Tools

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. This week I came across an interesting article on language and tool use that fits in well with my research, as well as the topics that we cover here.

The article appeared in the journal Science and the study by Thibault et al. examines the neural patterns that are activated by syntax and tool use.

The scientists used functional magnetic resonance imaging to measure neural activity during a series of experiments. One set of experiments tested participants during tool use, using manual actions as a control. The other experiment tested participants on a linguistic task with complex syntactic structures.

The tool experiment had participants using mechanical pliers to insert small pegs into different holes. The syntax experiment had participants read complex sentences and then answer questions. An example provided was “The scientist whom the poet admires writes an article”. They then had to judge statements such as “The poet admires the scientist” as being true or false.

The experiment showed that the same area of the brain, the basal ganglia, was activated, and activated in similar ways, by both the tool use as well as the language task.

The researchers then performed a similar experiment on a new group of participants where they participated in a linguistic task, then a motor task, and then a linguistic task again. The control group either watched an unrelated video or performed manual task with their hands in between linguistic tasks.

Adventures on the bourbon trail with my favorite adventure partner

The experimental group showed a significant improvement on the second linguistic task, performed after tool use, as compared to the control group.

The theory is that enhanced neural priming and neural plasticity increased linguistic ability in the second test since (as mentioned from the first part of the study) the same area of the brain is used in both tool use and language use.

This strikes me as not only interesting in the many different ways it can be (more on that here), but also as a wonderful segue into one of my favorite sayings and a lesson I learned from my father. Having the right tool for the job makes all the difference.

Sure dad you can go away if you bring back more mojeskas.

Anyone who has ever worked construction, engaged in any sort of DIY or home improvement project, or even just arts and crafts with the kids knows having the right tool can make all the difference. And, while it is possible to get the job done without the most suitable tool, it is often more cumbersome, clunky, and challenging than it needs to be.

In the case of our experiment, tools and language are interchangeable, (at least if you are measuring brain function by fMRI) so we end up with having the right word for the job makes all the difference. The job of course being an effective exchange of ideas and intention.

Early birthday celebration for El Duderino with Grandma

Another favorite saying on this blog (that I picked up from an AP Chemistry teacher) is that taxonomy is important. Words are important. Having the right word, and being able to use the right word is a critical part of being able to effectively express your ideas.

This blog has been a way for me to increase the size of my linguistic toolbox (along with many other benefits I get out of writing). Reading and research (especially research since academics are often harder to understand than lawyers) also help expand my toolbox.

One of my first blog posts was about receiving a toolbox as a gift from my father and not appreciating it until years later. I hope that I can gift both of my boys with both physical as well as linguistic toolboxes, so that they always have the right tool for the job be it communication or manual.

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Power Curve

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. This last week has been all about getting over the case of the cooties as a family, and it reminded me of an old aviation lesson.

Learning how to fly is both art and science. You can learn and apply without getting too deep into the math and engineering side if you are so inclined, but where is the fun in that. For me, the math and science made it real and added to my ability to process the phenomena I was experiencing in the plane.

I did a lot of riding at night after the rest of the cooties filled house was asleep, these two were still behind the power curve

One of those phenomena is the aircraft’s position at any given time along the power curve. The power available curve (or thrust available curve, the difference is important but beyond the scope of today’s discussion) is relatively straight forward. The engine is capable of producing different amounts of maximum power based on engine specifications as well as environmental factors like temperature, pressure, and altitude.

The power required curve is a combination of the different types of drag that the aircraft must overcome based on its particular flying conditions. Some drag is based on pure speed, some is based on how much lift is produced.

When both curves are graphed together (power required vs power available) the image is a power envelope. This envelope allows us to determine scenarios (in this case environmental and airspeed) and how much excess power the aircraft has. How much more power it is capable of producing than what it needs.

Notice at a certain point in the graph, it actually requires more power, (and significantly more power for that matter) to fly a slower airspeed. This is denoted on the graph as the region of reversed command and is also known as flying behind the power curve.

Behind the power curve, is where I found myself in recovery from the cooties. I wasn’t moving as fast, or getting as much done, but It felt like I needed way more power to do it. I was moving a lot slower, but my engine felt like it was closer to red line than it ought to have been.

As the week progressed, I started to move out of the region of reverse command and get back ahead of the power curve. My power envelope and “excess power” expanded for things like resuming training and the extra attention and patience that El Duderino and Speedy often demand.

These zwift rides were a bit more structured as I got back in front of the power curve

Obviously the cooties were a significant environmental factor that put me behind the power curve, but I was thinking about other times I felt that way. Whether it was the Doldrums, over training, poor dietary choices, jealousy, anxiety, nervousness or any of the other negative emotions that can drain excess power.

There are lots of ways to put ourselves behind the power curve, and while an aircraft can and will fly there, it isn’t the most efficient or the most comfortable place to fly. It is important to understand how and why to operate behind the power curve, and it is just as important to know how to get back out in front of it.

This was a warmup lap and then 2 laps for my first zwift race. I have a long way to go but it was a fun experience and felt good to rev the engine

I’m thankful I was able to support my family and recover while on the backside of the power curve. And I’m even more thankful to be back on the other side and back to pushing up the power.

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Blanket forts and popsicles help you get back in front of the power curve right?

Pleasure

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. This week I was listening to the Huberman lab podcast episode 32 on pain and pleasure, and it brought me back to something my highschool rowing coach used to tell me.

Dr. Huberman is a Neurobiologist and professor at the Stanford school of medicine and his podcast covers a number of topics with a scientific and specifically a neurobiology approach to various topics.

Dr Huberman, does an excellent job covering very complex scientific topics, breaking down on a mechanistic basis what goes in the body and brain while remaining surprisingly approachable to the novice, unscientific enthusiast.

El Duderino was very excited to go full cannibal on Halloween. A lollipop eating a lollipop

The episode on pain and pleasure was a two hour deep dive into the various ways we experience and modulate pain and pleasure and how the two are interconnected. Specifically of interest, to me anyhow, was the research around dopamine reward prediction error by Dr Schulz

The study explored the way that dopamine levels are modulated when behavior is rewarded on a variable schedule. The best example of this is slot machines in a casino. Not knowing when you are going to win and then getting a bigger reward than expected makes the behavior more rewarding (from a chemical perspective not necessarily a financial one)

Dopamine is not really a feel good hormone, it is actually a behavior reinforcement and learning hormone. The dopamine levels in patients did not change significantly and actually dropped after a reward was received. The dopamine is instead released based on anticipation of the reward so that the behavior used to obtain the reward is what is learned.

Pumpkins and protons, not spooky but groovy

This is one reason why athletes feel so connected to their training and preparation prior to a win. The dopamine is released in anticipation of the win to reinforce the training behaviors.

This same concept can be applied to our own behavior outside a clinical setting. We can regulate our self rewarding in order to continue to motivate behavior. The thought being, if you reward yourself every time you engage in a behavior you want to keep doing, your dopamine response will gradually decrease. Whereas if you reward yourself on a variable, intermittent, or otherwise randomized schedule for that same behavior, your dopamine levels (which help drive motivation for that behavior) will remain higher.

The practical application example that was given was rewarding yourself or your teammates after a win or a hard training session. There is certainly something to be said for celebrating your accomplishments, but celebrating every time can lead to reduced dopamine which in turn would lead to less desire to perform those actions that lead to the win in the first place.

In high school I joined the crew team my freshman year and was lucky enough to be part of a few very successful boats. Competing in both a lightweight eight man boat and a lightweight four man boat, my friends and I won numerous local regattas, placed at the NY state championships and even won a Canadian national championship.

Keeping myself honest with the speed work mixed in.

After every win, regardless of whether it was our local club race or a national championship ship our coach would say “enjoy it today, because tomorrow it doesn’t mean shit”.

While that’s not my particular coaching style, and that type of coaching and motivation isn’t for everyone, it seems that it is at least backed by the science of motivation and dopamine reward pathways.

Halloween half marathon by coincidence (not planning on making that one a thing)

By not celebrating our wins and overstimulating a dopamine response, our desire to obtain a reward and thus the behavior that was required to obtain that reward was reinforced.

As with most topics we cover here, and many more we don’t, a delicate balance must be struck to obtain optimum levels of pleasure, dopamine modulation, and serenity for that matter too. In a first world of instant gratification, a self regulated variable reward protocol can help us reinforce good behaviors on the path to serenity.

Adding up miles and time in the saddle as IM FL 70.3 approaches

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Interesting

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. As I continue my research on language and communication, I continue to find little tidbits that transcend communicology, and have relevance to the areas we tend to discuss here.

Obviously, the things we discuss here, (flying, fitness, fatherhood, etc…) are all things that I, and I presume at least to some extent you, are interested in.

With that in mind, the following passage from Noam Chomsky’s On Language struck me as especially appropriate.

“I think this whole discussion comes down to a confusion between two senses of the word interesting. Certain things are interesting in themselves- for example: human action. But there is another meaning of the word interesting, in physics, for example. A phenomenon in itself does not have interest for a physicist. What happens under the conditions of a scientific experiment is of no importance itself. It’s interest lies in it’s relation to whatever theoretical principles are at stake.

There are a great many things that I have read recently in the course of my research that I find interesting in the second sense of the word. Frequently, after reading some academic passage three or four times to make sure I understand it, and cursing the author for forcing me to look up definitions every other sentence, I will find a nugget (like the one above) that is interesting as it relates to my life, or experiences, or the project I’m working on.

When I excitedly share these findings with my wife, I am very quickly reminded of the difference from the first sense of the word interesting. Many of these theories, findings, hypotheses, are so steeped in academia and so far removed from real life that they are difficult to digest, much less get excited about.

But, because the have a relation to a project, or a passion, they become interesting in the second sense.

The two different types of interesting can also be thought of in terms of the way they affect people. Anything can be interesting in itself to someone without being of interest to someone else. But when it can be related in some other way it’s interest broadens.

Getting stronger with IM FL 70.3 approaching quickly

Linguistics and communicology is not interesting in itself to most people, (as I’m reminded when I discuss it with my wife). But when it can be related to a specific event/topic/situation, (see my previous post about a tough road to hoe) it becomes interesting because now there is context and real life application.

This interplay of interesting is fascinating, especially with my boys. There are some easy guesses on what they will find interesting, but other times I am surprised and fulfilled by their interests.

I recently had lunch with my wife and El Duderino on a layover. We sat down at an old timey diner burger joint. I had a little bit of nostalgia listening to the blues guitar oldies play over the speaker as our burger, fries, and shakes were brought out to the table.

El Duderino’s meal even came served up in an Old school Cadillac dinner tray, wing tips and all. What four year old American boy doesn’t love cheeseburgers, fries, and milkshakes? But when asked what his favorite part of lunch was, (I was sure it would be the milkshake) he told me it was playing air keyboard along with the diner music.

Layovers don’t get much better than this

You never really know what someone else will find interesting, or how what you find interesting will relate to someone else’s lived experience. But sharing our interests, and finding those sometimes hidden relations is a sure path to social connection and serenity. Thank you for sharing in some of what I find interesting.

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Learning

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. My toddler said something interesting to me this week that got me thinking about learning.

While burning off some extra energy jumping in his bed, El Duderino decided that I needed to jump with him. I told him I was too big to jump on his bed to which he replied,

“Don’t worry daddy I can teach you, Just bend your knees then stand in the sky that’s how you jump”

Super adorable I know, kids say the darndest things. But, what caught my attention more was the interplay between teaching and learning. In order to teach something, it needs to be broken down into manageable sections.

For my toddler, jumping comes in two manageable sections, and while academically unspecific, it is a significant step from the “this is how you do it watch me” approach.

He had to break down the two different steps and then articulate them to me, the learner, pretty good for a a three year old.

I’ve gone through this same process with a number of activities but specifically grappling and flying. In order to teach something you need to be able to dissect it. Teaching effectively often times leads to more learning, because you are forced to analyze in a process oriented way that you might have omitted before.

Teaching someone how to land an airplane requires a mechanistic understanding of weather, aerodynamics, momentum, gravity, mechanical engineering, and the interplay between them all.

Teaching a double leg takedown requires an understanding of physiology, center of gravity, physics, momentum, defensive counters and reactions. Breaking down the process for others often improves your own technique.

Like any skill though, these data points all get recognized and processed almost automatically after a while. So going back and teaching them can be a refresher in what is happening at a subconscious level.

Not only does teaching then promote more learning (for the teacher as well as obviously the student) but it also enhances neuroplasticity and fights aging in the brain.

Any time we learn something new (even if it is a relatively small nuance to an already known process or technique) new neural connections are formed and old ones are strengthened. This is why the mechanistic breakdown required of teaching helps the teacher learn.

Getting zwifty before race season starts

Even though you already know how to do a double leg takedown, you create new neural connections and synapses and strengthen old ones by breaking down your technique. Creating new connections and strengthening old ones keeps the brain plastic, just like keeping your muscles supple.

Life long learning can help fight cognitive decline as we age, and teaching can help promote new learning, even for already known skills. So teaching El Duderino how to jump a little more eloquently than “stand in the sky” will help me age gracefully and find serenity. (So long as there are no major tumbles off the bed)

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

Autopilot

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. I’m working my way through Influence The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini and he made an interesting connection that I wanted to explore here.

The book covers seven levers of influence that work on a subconscious psychological level to run and manage our behavior. Each lever of influence is discussed in depth with fascinating experimental examples to illustrate not only how powerful these effects are but also how much we underestimate their importance.

I highly recommend it as a read for an overall enhanced perspective as well as increased ability to recognize and combat what he calls “click, run” behavior. Behavior that can be triggered by a lever of influence (click), and then like a computer program, is run almost without our knowing.

In the chapter on social proof, the lever of influence that we are more inclined to do what everyone else is doing, Cialdini likens this neural response to an autopilot.

“the evidence it offers is valuable, with it we can sail confidently through countless decisions without having to investigate the pros and cons of each. In this sense, the principle equips us with a wonderful kind of autopilot device not unlike that aboard most aircraft. Yet there are occasional, but real, problems with autopilots. Those problems appear whenever the flight information locked into the control mechanism is wrong.”

I know a thing or two about autopilot usage. Training on modern aircraft is essentially broken down into two parts, the aircraft systems, and the FMS or the flight management system which is comprised of flight computers and autopilots.

These flight management systems have become so complex, and so integral to aircraft operation, that learning how to manipulate the system is just as important as being able to manipulate the aircraft itself.

In a statistically invalid survey of my aviator friends as well as my own observations, most commercial flights are controlled by the autopilot for upwards of 95% of the flight. This makes sense, the autopilot doesn’t fatigue, is more fuel efficient, is reliable, and consistent. It is also dumb.

By this I mean the autopilot is very good at doing what it is told, even if what it is told will not produce a desirable outcome. It cannot think, it can only execute. This is one of the most common issues with autopilot related incidents, not that the autopilot malfunctions per se, but that in some way the autopilot is not doing what the pilot wants it to.

This generally happens for a number of reasons, including: the pilot puts an incorrect input into the system, the pilot wants to change an input in the system and fails to do so, or one input conflicts with another input and the computer “chooses” which one to follow based on its programming.

Some more concrete examples of the above mentioned improper pilot-autopilot interface are: a pilot setting the altitude to 10,000 feet when they really meant to set 12,000, a pilot trying to depress the button to initiate a descent but failing to depress the button fully and not engaging the descent mode, and a pilot inputting 10,000 feet and engaging the descent mode but failing to realize he also put in a constraint at 12,000 feet where to autopilot will stop the descent.

In each of these examples, the autopilot can fly the aircraft with a higher level of consistency, accuracy, and reliability, than the pilot, and it will do so to the wrong altitude. As pilots, when we interface improperly with our autopilots, bad things tend to happen. The same thing can be said, and is by Cialdini, about the autopilot systems of our brain.

The dilemma with all of the levers of influence as presented by Cialdini, is that they are mostly benefitial to our lives. The sheer volume of information that we process everyday can be overwhelming, and these levers of influence offer real life neural short cuts, evolutionarily proven methods of making the better decision without the costly investment in analysis. “Because the autopilot afforded by the principle of social proof is more often an ally than an antagonist, we can’t be expected to want to simply disconnect it”

A beautiful morning for a run in Green Bay

It is when we have an improper input into the system, fail to engage the system in the way that we truly desire, or have conflicting system inputs, that our neural autopilot causes us problems. As pilots we develop procedures and checklists to help avoid these errors, and when all else fails we disconnect the automation and fly the airplane.

That is the core message at the end of every chapter from Cialdini. All of these levers of influence are based on automatic systems in the brain, and that we need to understand how to manage the inputs, and when all else fails to disconnect the system and fly ourselves.

I know I am often a slave to my routine, and while that makes some of my decision making easier, it also leaves me susceptible to those same autopilot mistakes. Sometimes it is refreshing to click off the automation and re-experience the beauty of operating the machine, whether it is a Boeing or a human athlete.

Putting in some zwift and Peleton miles ahead of the start of my race season

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

What’s Cookin’

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. This week, against my better judgement, I want to talk about gender stereotyped activities. Wish me luck and come along for the ride as I traverse this modern day minefield.

I often find myself flying with captains who are much older than me (20 to 30 years older) and at a different point in their life. Anyone who has spent a career in aviation and anyone who has raised a family has a wealth of knowledge and no shortage of stories to share. While I appreciate these peers and mentors and the wisdom they share freely (sometimes uninvited) I find that there are some generational gaps that can’t be overcome.

One such generational gap came up on my most recent trip and I thought it was worth discussing. This trip was a three day, with a real kick in the pants type of first day. Five legs, lots of convective weather, a prolonged sit in an out station, and then a deadhead on a regional jet that was delayed.

My alarm went off at 5:00am and I didn’t make it to my hotel until after 8:00pm and the only real opportunity to have a civil meal in that time was our prolonged sit at the out station.

The captain told me I packed like a senior flight attendant (notorious for carrying lots of bags) when he saw my oversized cooler bag along with my flight bag and suitcase. As I unpacked some smoked brisket and curried cauliflower he became more intrigued. When I told him that I cooked before I left so that my wife and kids had prepared food while I was gone, and I had healthy meals on the road, he responded “you cook for your wife before you leave, that’s different”. He shared that his wife had packed his PB&J bag lunches that were indistinguishable from those a kindergartner might show up with.

I’m under no illusion that my meal prepping is not the norm. Im also not so self involved that I think I can change those gender norms. I do think however, I can raise my boys with the understanding that something you are passionate about, that also benefits others, can be a source of joy and pride regardless of norms.

I love to cook, especially when I am not time constrained by the already untenable list of things I enjoy spending my time on. I am also passionate about diet, exercise, and overall well-being, and those overlap very well with my cooking/meal prepping. Pair in an aviation career especially post covid with limited food options in airports and on layovers and my meal prep/ cooking habits are done just as much from a self serving sense as they are from that of a provider.

Not a bad spot to write down your thoughts, Naked River Brewing Co Chattanooga TN

Don’t get me wrong, I love that my 1 and 3 year olds eat roasted asparagus and brussel sprouts, curried cauliflower, and smoked meats. Fueling my training and work schedule with healthy foods is an admittedly selfish priority, the fact that my boys eat that way too is a wonderful bonus.

But I hadn’t thought that much about the behavior modeling of dad (me) doing all the cooking, and especially cooking ahead of time for when I’m on the road. As a child of divorce, both my parents cooked for me when I was hungry, I never saw it as a gender specific task.

When I stopped eating what my mother cooked because I was cutting weight for wrestling, I started cooking for myself in my sophomore year of highschool. Again, this seemed a practical and realistic division of labor rather than an against the grain trend.

Starting to build up the milage this week, 75+ miles over 3 rides

One of the guiding questions that fuels this blog, is how I will answer my boys when they ask me what it means to be a man. The conversation in my head normally spans multiple sittings, involves at least me drinking, and tends to be full of inconsistencies. The truth is I’m not really sure, and that’s O.K.

But the message will sure as hell include doing what you are passionate about, especially when it helps other people. If that means that cooking is manly, I’ll be the first one to help them tie on their aprons.

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.

The injured knee held up pretty well to 7 miles on the treadmill, helped along by some De La Soul

Uh-Oh

Thanks for joining me for another edition of the SerenityThroughSweat blog. Over the last couple of weeks, I have been doing some research on a new project that is a somewhat related labor of love to the blog. While I’m not ready to reveal the details of the project just yet, it is based around language and communication.

I remember having a conversation with one of my ultimate frisbee and triathlon friends Josh, where he used the analogy of an iceberg to describe hobbies. Like the behemoth that sank the Titanic, only 10 percent was visible from the surface, the rest was hidden underwater. Almost any activity worth pursuing, tends to have the same characteristic, especially when being observed by a beginner.

The only way you will ever know how big the iceberg is, and how deep it goes, is to get wet and dive in to the topic headfirst.

So for the past few weeks I have been swimming in the waters of language and communication, getting just the beginnings of sense, of how big the iceberg really is.

This blog in many ways, has been a learning tool for me. A means by which I can grow as a writer, communicator, father , and so many more things.

This quote from Jerrold J. Katz in The Philosophy of Language, describes this idea eloquently, if not for the over academic rhetoric;

Don Quixote and sancho out to slay the dinosaur

“the process of linguistic communication is conceived as one in which the speaker, in his production of speech, encodes his inner, private thoughts and ideas in the form of some external, publicly observable, acoustic phenomena, and the hearer, in his comprehension of speech, decodes the structure of such objective phenomena in the form of an inner, private experience of the same thoughts and ideas. Language is thus viewed as an instrument of communication of thoughts and ideas which enables those who know the same language to associate the same meanings with each of the significant sound sequences in the language.”

Katz is obviously talking in this example about spoken language, but the same concept applies to written language. It is an instrument by which we convey inner, private experience of thoughts and ideas to one another.

Yet as anyone who is married, or has kids, or both, can attest, there is great frustration when the inner private thoughts of the speaker (or writer) and the hearer (or reader) don’t sync up.

Meal prepping for my solo stay with the boys, brisket, burnt ends, sausage lava balls, and smoked cream cheese.

This is one of the greatest causes of frustration for all humans, and the instrument in question (language/communication) is one whopper of an iceberg.

It was with this research fresh in my mind, that I noticed a particularly behavior in Speedy that is as relevant as it is adorable (except for the cleaning up)

Speedy is babbling a lot, (as most 16 month old do), but it’s also becoming more effective at communicating his wants and needs. One thing he has picked up on is “Uh-Oh”

Speedy before he starts experimenting with gravity

It normally takes him a few tries, you may hear an “uh-uh”, an “oh-uh”, or even an “oh-oh” before he gets it right, but eventually the “Uh-Oh” comes out, normally followed by a parentally reciprocated smile.

Speedy has figured out that contextually, this particular instrument of language is often uttered when something falls. Of course for those of us using it in a classical sense this means whatever was dropped was on accident.

Speedy often takes a more deliberate approach in order to practice his new favorite language instrument, throwing whatever he can get a hold of off his highchair tray and then practicing his vocalizations.

Speedy mastering the Uh-Oh after the food throw

Without totally ruling out that my 16 month old has a strong grasp of irony (not unreasonable considering his genetic makeup), he is using his language instrument in the way he has observed his brother, mother, and me use it. When something hits the floor we often say “Uh-Oh”. Still, I can assure you regardless of my reciprocated smile, our private inner thoughts are not the same after the fourteenth broccoli floret finds the floor.

His I can only presume is an inner thought of triumph at both the correct usage of “Uh-Oh”as well as the mastery of the modern marvel that is gravity. My inner thoughts vary from amused to annoyed based on what iteration we are currently on.

It is relatively easy with a 16 month old to see when the communication process breaks down. Especially with modern means of mass communication, how many “Uh-Oh” moments do you come across in a given day? Is it possible you have some without even realizing it?

Lots of sprint watts and lots of miles on the trainer

Words are hard, finding the right ones is even harder, and trying to understand someone elses private inner thoughts based on sometimes inadequate word choices is next to impossible. Language is the instrument that sets us apart, and serenity awaits those who can matter their instrument.

Thanks for joining me, stay safe and stay sweaty my friends.